Plagiocephaly Ruining My Life

[Mrtyaa]

Hi I'm 27 divorced guy. I knew something was wrong with my head when i shaved it years ago and since then i was one and off of feeling depressed because of it.

My plagiocephaly is severe from what i searched sadly.

I just dont know who to blame ?? Like just because one doctor didn't try to help and just said "oh he is gonna be fine" that i have to live with this my entire life without any control over it.

I really tried many haircuts and hairstyles qnd it helped a little. But my left side is much bigger than my right. My left ear is different than the other because of this.

I like my "face" overall I'm kinda decent looking from some angles. But from the front it's so obvious something wrong with my head.

I feel so depressed when i think about it which is alot at this time of life with the pandemic. And just dont wanna get in another relationship.

I even tried to find someone with similar issue to feel better but i couldn't find one with this bad of plagiocephaly.

I wanna be confident but i cant.

Idk if i should wear a hat 24/7 and feel so bad without it.

I cant lie and say i dont think of suicide. Tho i know i most likely wont do it but it's just so tiring livin with this. I wanna feel normal but it's not normal to have this kind of head

I wanted to get this out of my chest. Thank u

[CarolinChangingFaces Partner]

Hi Mrtyaa, and welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for your post, you have taken a really brave step to express openly how you feel in this community. It sounds like you've been experiencing depression and going through a really challenging time.

You have talked about suicidal thoughts, which must be really difficult for you. If at any time you feel like you might act on this or you don’t feel able to keep yourself safe, we strongly recommend you contact your GP, emergency services or a crisis service such as Samaritans samaritans.org/ to get support.

If you are based in the UK, you can also get in touch with the Support and Information Line at Changing Faces by calling 0300 012 0275 or emailing [e-mail] between 10 am and 4 pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you start to build some support and connection with the members on here and feel able to reach out to services for more support.

Take Care – Caroline Changing Faces.

[AlwaysSmiling Community Ambassador]

Hello Mrtyaa, thank you for sharing your story on here. I'm so sorry to hear how your appearance is making you feel but well done on taking this first step by posting on here. I know it can be very difficult to reach out.

You are certainly not alone and I hope by joining this community you are able to realise this and feel a little better. Although I do not have plagiocephaly, I do understand what you mean about how your face looks from different angles.

I too like my face in some angles more than others. Although I have come to love myself for who I am and accept my differences because they're a part of me, there are still some times when I see it from an angle I'm not used to and feel quite self-conscious. I worry what people think when they look at me from the side and I sometimes wonder whether I should change it.

But recently, I decided that I'm not going to change the way I look. Even though I struggle to see myself from certain angles sometimes, its who I am! And also, I think that others will be so used to seeing us from those perspectives that they probably don't even think about it much.

I really hope that one day you are able to love your differences and see that you're amazing as you are! Stay strong!❤

[Flagman]

Exactly me. Unfortunately mine is severe. My face is flat and my head is asymetrical

My life had been one of rejection and lots of humiliation. People will randomly call me ugly, in fact i have had that alot

At one job i had i was often slapped around the head. Everyone except me thought it was funny

Mostly i dont worry about it but sometimes i get really down

luckily i do not think that I will go bald no idea how i would handle that

[CarolinChangingFaces Partner in reply to Flagman]

Hi Flagman Welcome to the Changing faces community. Thanks for sharing your experiences and some of the challenges you have faced. It sounds like things have been difficult for you.

This post you've replied to is a few years old, so might not still be as active but I can our community ambassador has noticed and replied to your post already.

I hope you'll find some people to connect with and talk to on the community.

Take Care

Caroline - Changing Faces

[Solocat Community Ambassador in reply to Flagman]

Hi Flagman. Nice to meet you and have you around. Thanks for telling us your story which unfortunately relate to many people facing visible differences anywhere! I agree with my friend Circuitbreaker this assault and humiliation is just plain and outright bullying, no matter how they call it, and you could do something about it without depending on anybody else's opinion to protect your integrity and your persona. I guess the fact you're airing this through this forum is a proof you're kind of done with it and that you want to make some changes around this situation. If that is the case, I'm sure you can take the first steps to banish this situation off your life. I can feel in your words the burden you've been carrying for a long time and now it's time to do something about it and just make it stop. I know it's easier said than done, but the way to own your road ahead starts by harnessing all the resources that the laws and the institutions (well, and your friends in this forum!) you can find at your disposal to own this situation as a responsible citizen and as a good individual.

I'm in no doubt you will succeed. Living with a visual difference is something that takes us off-guard because we live in very image-conscious society that places more value on external appearance than inner qualities and values do. We cannot change this reality in the nearby future, but we can change they way we face this reality going from acting the role of passive victimized sufferers to being informed, connected and outspoken when it comes to let others know, especially bullying/discriminating people (sometimes self-described as "friends"), that we are not to put up with any nonsense, slapping, touching, mocking...you name it, as we well feel quite comfortable and able to file a claim, file a police report, denounce abusive behaviors or whatever is necessary doing to let those offenders know we are not joking about it.

I'm just getting started here Flagman, haha. So, please don't hesitate to reach out and let us know how everything is going for you. I'm sure things are going to start being so different for the better.

Cheers!!

[Flagman in reply to Solocat]

My life is bizarre. I used to get and to some extent still get some horrible comments.

however as i got older i also got a few postive ones too.

I think the temptation is to hide away from life and people. Or to drink too much. I have tried both.

Sorry rambling here but thank you for your comments.

It is hard to talk about

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador in reply to Flagman]

It isn't rambling. And while it may be hard to talk aboit, you've done the amazing and really hard bit, which is to start.

And once you've started talking about things, it gets easier, I promise you,

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

dear lord, that is so wrong and not just personally, its wrong in law too.

There is no way on earth you should have had to endure slaps to the face.

the likelyhood is your condition is covered by the disability discrimination act. I say likelyhood only because Im not a qualified lawyer, im a particularly grumpy IT engineer, and in any case, i dont know your full circumstances. If so, then this could potentially be considered a hate crime. And anway, just slapping you alone is borderline assault.

I do hope that this bullying behaviour is long since stopped, but if it does recur, or should anyone else encounter it, log it, report it (to the police) seek whatever free advice you can. Call it out. Call it bullying. Call in harassment, call it what it actually is, a hate crime. No employer wants employees on their books convicted of such. If they are in anyway decent, they will back you.

[Flagman in reply to Circuitbreaker]

Hi. This was a long time ago in the 90's. I suffered alot of comments and as described some mild physcial stuff

They were trying to be funny but i never saw anyone else get the same treatment.

I was actually a police officer at the time and somwere they. I got more gried from them than i got from the public