Living hell

I am living in a private hell right now. It has been like this for almost a year, ever since an accident disfigured my forehead. I am almost completely housebound and feel like a freak. My faith in God has been completely destroyed. How could he allow such pain and suffering? What did I do to deserve this? i can't even enjoy something simple like watching tv. Seeing any other person's normal face taunts me. I think about my misfortune 24/7 and can't break free. The mental agony is torture. I dont know how much more I can take of this before I snap and end up in a psych ward or with some horrible disease due to the stress, depression, and isolation. I've been given a life sentence, and it's my face that imprisons me.

Has anyone else experienced this after facial disfigurement?

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  • Hello there

    Feelings of grief are quite common when you've experienced a changed appearance from an accident. I'm sorry that there aren't any support services available in the US, and we do only cover the UK. But you might find our self-help guides useful - they are available free of charge on our website.

    changingfaces.org.uk/get-su...

    Changing Faces

  • Hi again

    That's how I felt during the first year of my accident. It was a living hell. Still is. In the absence of a cure the only comfort I will find is through being in touch with others who can relate AND in doing the nearest thing to suicide (without actually taking my life) which is to look for ways that I can live like a recluse.

    What I find hardest is dealing with the hostile reactions from outside. No-one should have to live like this.

  • I lost 2 years of my life in despair after a large facial laceration on my cheek from my surfboard. You are not alone, there is nothing I can say to make this better I know accept that God loves you and it is through our scars that the light from inside us can be set free. Take time to grieve, It takes time, but there is light at the end of this tunnel... Believe me, I know.

  • I'm glad you were able to escape your hell. Obviously not everyone is so lucky. Plk1970 cannot, along with many others in this forum. If my scarring/disfigurement were more minor, I could live with it. But it is not. It's very obvious and ugly and I can't show my forehead in public due to It looking so different. I don't know how to overcome this. How do you handle people's comments/stares? 

  • Hi, I have not escaped my hell, but if hell is a fire I have, over time, found some tools to squelch the flame. It haunts me from time to time and I feel it threatening to swollow me whole. At these lowest moments I feel I would rather be dead than to live with this pain. Then I look up, I check my pulse and take hold of all the good I do have. I force myself to take one step forward, then another, and when I have made it farther than I thought I keep walkng. Life is so short, there is too much good in this world too much suffering to help alleve, so I use my pain and help others... And that's how I make it through the day. 

  • Personal goals is my method. Work towards something I really want to do and do that. This plus the warmth of true friends has been the support and enjoyment needed for life to be fun.

    However after my face was broken, it took a number of years before I found ways to interact with people and even enjoy life again.

    Negative thoughts will always be there, it's a choice to indulge in them. PMA and laughing at anything that slightly amuses me has helps heaps.

    Big internet hugs.