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Free For All on Friday

Callendersgal profile image

Hi everyone. Time for another Free for All on Friday for anyone who would like to post on an off-topic subject, so long as it still remains inside community guidelines. And a gentle reminder to try to keep to Fridays for this, even when the community is quiet with regard to Care posts. We need to keep the focus of the group on Care as much as possible and off-topic posts on Friday is one way of making sure that everyone's needs are met. As lots of you already know, off-topic posting isn't even allowed at all on other HU forums, so wherever possible please cooperate with this rule.

I haven't got any clear topic for this Friday. It's been a busy week doing a variety of things, some more welcome than others, so excuse this being a bit of a hotch-potch.

My sister had a bit of a breakthrough this week in the care of her husband with dementia. It's something simple, suggested by one of her daughters, and it's encouraging her husband to sing when he's a bit agitated or down. I called the other day and could hear him warbling away in the background accompanying one of his favourite CDs and it's giving her extra time where he will sit on his own for a bit and leave her to get on with things. Definitely worth a try I think!

Then I was considering the role that nostalgia plays in life as we get older. I'm terribly nostalgic these days and was really struck how much when watching an episode of the BBC's 'The Repair Shop' the other evening. (For non-UK readers this is a lovely gentle program about a team of experts who repair people's family 'treasures' often against all the odds because of the state of disrepair. It's truly amazing to see and feel the levels of emotion that a much loved object evokes when it's fixed up and handed back. This week there was another teddy bear and I'm afraid they are absolutely my weakness. I have my own old age pensioner of a bear called Maisie and I just love them, the more loved and battered the better. The one featured this week had belonged to a lady whose family had fled Hungary as refugees in 1956. A real tear-jerker. It makes me feel more than silly, sitting blubbing in a chair over a teddy bear, but of course it's about more than that really. It's the story which goes along with the love.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the week. What about yours?

Photo: Unsplash: David Griffiths

37 Replies

Yes a teddy is capable of breaking many a heart. I love them so much. They are great listeners. If you have a dog and a teddy you are surrounded in love.Well we finally got a face to face with a GP. He did examine my Husband and more problems ahead. He was like a cat on a hot tin roof. Although he did his job he was very nervous of being actually with a patient and more so as I had to be there. The whole thing was a joke really as the Dr we spoke to on the phone had said to make a face to face but hadn't recorded it and when I tried to make the appointment I was practically accused of making it up. Luckily I am persistent and will not be fobbed off so we eventually got in. The whole thing is exhausting.

When I think of the nurses who come in to sort the catheter out the difference is amazing.

Covid numbers are going up and we still need to be wary but if we choose where we go carefully we still have our freedom. Even that is not a guarantee though.

Very confused messages coming from Government and NHS.

Stay safe and enjoy this little Autumn sun we are having.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Lynd

I completely agree with you on the topic of teddies and dogs Lynd! I'd even add in cats but in the case of mine, I'm not so sure. I also agree that GPs are a matter of pot luck these days. Having been passed from pillar to post and seeing a new one every time over a four year period, I had an epiphany about how different they all are from levels of empathy to knowledge and method. I had some superb ones, both of the old traditional and the newly qualified, but others I could probably have matched myself for medical knowledge and bedside manner. Persistence is definitely needed to navigate your way through.

Whtever one's feelings about current safety regulations re covid19 I think that caution still needs to be the by-word in staying as safe as possible, after vaccination.

sassy59 profile image

Hello Callendersgal, I love teddy bears too and we still have Pete’s here. No idea what happened to mine. We’ve had a busy week too with visits to hospital for Pete. Just routine generally so no problems. We’re doing ok at the moment thank goodness.

How lovely to hear about your sisters breakthrough in caring for her husband. What a eureka moment I’m sure. Hope the singing continues.

We’re having our granddaughter here today because she has an inset day and her parents are working. We’re taking her to a firework display at our grandsons school later so that should be good. We’re going for lunch locally so hopefully not too busy. Covid numbers are scary again.

Take care everyone and stay safe. Xxx💕❤️💜❤️💜

FredaE profile image
FredaE in reply to sassy59

this is Charley bear wh o has now moved in with me, i made him for my daughter and she still remembers waking up on her birthday and not beleiving her eyes - that was50 odd years ago..

large yellw bear on a shelf
sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador in reply to FredaE

I love Charlie Bear. Our grandson has a bear that was made for him when he was born. He’s 9 now and bear still sits on his bed. Xxx

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to FredaE

Charley is adorable FredaE. I love him! He looks so cheerful and perky! Wonderful!

FredaE profile image
FredaE in reply to Callendersgal

poor lad has been in store for months ina plastic bag a nd he still comes up smiling

Hellebelle profile image
Hellebelle in reply to FredaE

Charlie bear is gorgeous Freda. I hope you are doing well?

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

Oh how lovely that Pete still has his bear sassy59. Me too and she could tell some secrets having been my confidante for so many years! I hope the fireworks are fun. I'm so pleased that our children and grandchildren are at least managing to enjoy a little of normal life again now and I hope the high covid rates won't derail that, although I do have a feeling that a lot of the reason for the high figures is lack of vaccination in the young given that they have been mixing in close proximity at schools and universities and then passing on the virus to the more vulnerable. It's making the winter look very uncertain, yet again. 👍😊💖xx

sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador in reply to Callendersgal

The fireworks were amazing and everyone had fun. It’s so scary to think about winter and covid. I’m really pleased we’ve had our booster jabs now. Xxx💞🤗💜

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

Fantastic that you've had your boosters now. They should help to keep you both safer. I agree that this winter's looking rather bleak again and infection rates are getting scary. Glad the fireworks were good fun! 👍🧨🎆🎇😃💖xx

Hi Sue lovely post we watch that programme sometimes I still have waffles in mam's loft he was won at a raffle when I was a child 🤗 yes music therapy is good for dementia and I used to put it on at the car home some that sat there sleeping woke up and began moving there legs also we read that light therapy which I have a Luma lamp seasonal assortiated disorder for lack of sunlight on the brain is good or think that's the strength mam read about ultra violet light altho mine doesn't cause sunburn but I'm sure it will help as it changes the brain chemicals we need a hours sunlight a day and these Luna lamps are given for people with depresshion in autumn as the nights get darker and lack of sun I feel like hybernating and feel lethargic and low mood, I am swimming at 2 this will help my seretonin levels, pixie has been laid in sun all morning and stopping me from going on here he's sabartarched my glasses he did lash out when I tried to get them 😭😺😺have a lovely weekend hope sunny 🌌🌝I saw the moon

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to HappySwimmer

Waffles sounds adorable Mandy! All bears have their own special individual character. I'm sure a SAD lamp would have helped my brother-in-law as he gets sundowning, but sadly it's not advised for him because of an eye condition. I believe they are really effective though.

Here's pixie and the moon sillouete 😺🌝


The Repair Shop is a lovely programme isn't it

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to FredaE

I really love it FredaE but it does stir the emotions at times! 👍

I agree about the repair shop. What a wonderful programme. I love watching the level of skill demonstrated by the craftspeople. There is something very satisfying about mending something dear to you.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Hellebelle

I find it such soothing viewing and I too am in awe at the skills displayed by the various experts Hellebelle! No wonder it evokes such emotions on seeing something that you thought would never ever look the same again, being restored to near perfection!

My hip is healing well, and I'm whizzing around on a zimmer with no problems. As I'm medically fit to go home, on Wednesday night at 9.25 the night staff asked if I'd be OK with moving to a, different building, still within the confines of the hospital, as my orthopaedics bed was needed for an emergency patient, two patients had already been asked and refused to move, but I said yes.

I was meant to have my covid test Wednesday, result Thursday back to rehab today, but the discharge paperwork wasn't completed, so I'm now going tomorrow, I've been told my meds, are on the ward, transport booked for midday with a 4 hour window and that's just been confirmed

Best of luck with your discharge home!

Thank you, it's rehab first, followed by home followed by going back to work

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Jennymary

Whizzing around Jennymary! I like the sound of that. It’s very encouraging indeed. You’re doing so well! 👍

Hi glad your hips going well hope you are ok at home and what work do you do xx

I'm a receptionist in a leisure centre, so mainly sitting down🏃‍♂️

Oh that' sounds ok, I can't do my usual work was a cook do on feet all day due to knee cartillafe my last job was passenger assistant ideal as sat in taxi or school bus but I lost it due to COVId as didn't want to put mam at risk, we got tester kits from my leisure centre today I enjoyed my swim but. It's tired me out so I'll be asleep after Corrie lol hope you sleep well 🤗😺xx

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Jennymary

Hope all goes well x

sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador in reply to Jennymary

Wishing you well on getting home Jennymary. Hospitals are often tricky places to get out of. Xxx🤞🏼💜

Hellebelle profile image
Hellebelle in reply to Jennymary

All the best for going home. What good news. xxxx


Pub crawl today on the city centre and lunch out at a place called viva Brazil which has something for everyone and then onto an old fashioned bar after that.

I haven't been to viva Brazil since just before everything shut down back in March 2020 nor to the first city centre bar we are visiting today which my last visit to them was just before everything shut down back in the March of 2020 which was like something off a horror movie!

Thursday I enjoyed a horror movie called Halloween kills at the stadium plaza cinema by the river in Cardiff which brought back lots of memories of visits to the old all you can drink bar that was there back in the 2000s near the cinema when I was in my late 20s.

Baby is well and is waiting up for her leftovers from Viva Brazil!

Tuesday it was an interview at the infirmary for a job at the cafe there which was the old hospital chapel and I don't think I have got the job as they said they would ring yesterday but didn't.

Got more interviews coming up until the 16 November and I'm looking forward to a weekend away at a b and b then which will be my first time away from home since February 2020.

Callendersgal profile image

You've been busy Catgirl1976 but a really good kind of busy. Sounds as if you've had a lot of fun and its something we need, isn't it, after all we've had to put up with in recent times. Sorry about the interview probably not working out again this time, but there are more in the pipeline, so that's good!

I will get something when I'm ready is what one of my friends said to me.

Thing is with interviews it's never just me disappointed as more are disappointed than not!

I think life is telling me yes to the things I lost out on last year when covid destroyed everything in its path!

Today I took Milo for a longish walk around the countryside. Then I came back, showered quickly, took a timed nap in the afternoon and then ate a hearty dinner before watching a movie. Tomorrow I have to meet with a social worker and my family in order to discuss finding care homes for a elderly relative who needs it badly. Her physical impairment makes it hard for her to live at home but she is mentally able still at 84 years old. If you can recommend a care home that is able to meet her physical needs and also try to provide cognitive simulation I will be happy.

Hi Callendersgal,

Lovely to hear from you as ever with a thought provoking post. I was so interested to read about your sister and the breakthrough with her husband. Music can be so evocative and seems to tap into a unique part of our brains. My uncle had a massive stroke at 60 years of age that took his speech, but he too can sing along to his favourite songs!

I was wondering if your sister had heard of singing for the brain? It is run Nationwide by the Alzheimers Society and is for anyone with a dementia diagnosis (not just for those diagnosed with Alzheimers). I don't know whether it is running with the virus restrictions, but would be good to contact them to find out.

I unfortunately had a nasty fall last week. I tripped over a piece of furniture we had in the kitchen that wasn't normally there. We are decorating and have moved things around. I fell against the corner of a wall and my face unfortunately took most of the force. I ended up with a lovely black eye! It has knocked my confidence and made me feel very vulnerable. My 3 year long old granddaughter was here at the time and she was so concerned bless her! It was such a shame as we had just had a lovely cooking session making cup cakes.

It seems that we do become more nostalgic as we get older, remembering past times. I don't know about anyone else, but I have also become more emotional and could cry at many things. When i was younger, I used to think that life would get so much easier as I got older! How wrong I was. It just presents us with different issues that we have to deal with.

The sun is shining today after a very blustery few days. I hope everyone has some sun to enjoy and a chance to get some fresh air.

Sending love xxxx

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Hellebelle

Hi Hellebelle, thanks so much for that information. I certainly hadn't heard of 'Singing for the Brain' and my sister has never mentioned it so I'm going to send her the info as I'm sure it will be of interest to her. I am so sorry to hear about your fall! These accidents really do knock our confidence much more than we think. That sounds like a really nasty injury and so sorry that it affected your little granddaughter. Bless her, that must have shocked her too.

I'm absolutely with you on the topic of emotion as we age. I once saw it described in a novel as 'the easy tears of old age' and I found that quite comforting as it made me realise I was probably in good company! I can cry dozens of times a day and whereas I used to be able to be almost hardened to some of the awful scenes of life, I simply can't now and even have to be discerning about what I watch on TV. Even fictional things!

We have lovely sun here today after a really awful Saturday and mediocre Sunday weatherwise. I dashed into our local hospital through torrential rain, for my 2nd covid booster vaccination and mentioned to the security guard on leaving 20 minutes later that I'd have to dash back to the car. "What for?" he said, "sun's out!" And it was! Only in UK 😆

Anyway, I hope you recover from your fall as quickly as possible and please take great care in future. It just goes to show how easily this can happen to any of us, and maybe it's a good thing to learn that we don't bounce quite as readily as we age!

Thank you for your concern and yes, older age does not come alone as they say. I always remember my nan saying to me that her brain was young but her body wasn't that obliging and i now know what she meant!

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Hellebelle

My new favourite saying I think Hellebelle! 😆👍

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