How do you know when you have found the rig... - Care Community

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How do you know when you have found the right Counselor?

KPSmiles profile image

How many of us feel we are getting the right counseling? I just worked with a specialist the last 6 months and feel somewhat better as I move back to my regular therapist.. I wonder though if there is truly someone out there that I can best connect with and feel more complete in my counseling... Is anyone else going through this>?... has anyone found the best counselor for them? What did you do to break the feeling that your just not there in your search yet?

3 Replies
Callendersgal profile image

Hi KPSmiles,I'm not sure if this post was entirely meant for the Care Community, and you might get more responses in one of the communities which deals more with therapy issues, but happy to give you an opinion. However, I know little about it all, so don't take me too seriously! 😊

I think you need to have a rapport with your counsellor, because you won't engage fully or ask the right questions if you feel that anything is holding you back from being completely open. Sometimes we just don't gel with a particular person, and never really get on with them and that can happen with a counsellor too. If you think about your friends, there are those you can tell anything to, and others you hold back a bit with.

Some therapists can be overbearing or make you feel a bit rushed, or don't concentrate on the aspects of our problems which we feel need the most attention.

That makes the whole thing difficult because we can't continue to shop around for a therapist like we do for a pair of shoes.

But in one way it is a bit like buying shoes. Because sometimes when we buy them, they fit but aren't completely comfortable and we have to wear them in a bit and they get comfier as we go along. I think that applies to therapy too, so it might be worth persevering with yours a little longer to see if mutual trust and liking grows!

Hope you get on OK!

sassy59 profile image

I’ve never had counselling KPSmiles so not sure I can really help. I agree with Callendersgal though and feel that you need to have a good rapport with any counsellor. It’s a bit like having a GP you find hard to talk to, you really want to switch to a different GP.

I hope you find the right person for you. Xx

I'm a retired counsellor. Yes you need to feel you can trust them and feel really safe. However if it continues without any gentle challenging that isn't good counselling. It's not just to make you feel good but to help you gain a new perspective and reasess your life. Good luck - don't be afraid to question their training and experience. Jean

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