Monday round-up : Hello everyone, on what's a... - Care Community

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Monday round-up


Hello everyone, on what's a grey old day again here on the south coast. How was the weekend? I didn't go out at all, but yesterday I really felt that there was a whiff of spring in the air, even though the day wasn't particularly nice. I love it on that first day when the realisation comes that winter's in retreat.

Sending a warm welcome to anyone who has decided to join us this week. Please join in, whether that's just by reading the posts or, better yet, posting yourself. Be assured we'll be very interested to hear whatever you have to say.

I'd like to ask some personal help again today, once again for the sister whose husband has mixed dementia. We had a long chatty call over the weekend and during the course of it she mentioned his confusion at the end of every afternoon, usually having had a reasonable day of cognition.

I don't know an awful lot about this but I'd say it was the phenomenon of 'sun downing', when the change in light, and possibly because of a disturbed circadian rhythm through his dementia, confusion and agitation starts.

To put it baldly, she says it's 'driving her mad.' Just when she's tired and reached the point when she needs to relax, her husband doesn't understand where he is and asks repeatedly all evening where he is and how he came to be there.

I've read some of the general advice online but I wonder if there is anyone out there who has dealt, or is dealing with sun downing and has any tips for her which might lessen its effects.

I'm sure I read somewhere that the level of lighting is really important, not too bright or dim. But I also read conflicting advice on whether to keep to the same routine as always, or to alter it to take the sun downing into account. All thoughts gratefully received.

Speaking of circadian rhythms has anyone else noticed, since our lockdowns, that dreams seem more frequent, vivid and often not very pleasant. I'm certainly remembering more of mine and quite often they aren't the most cheery things. It almost seems as if my brain's trying to recreate a life for itself outside of lockdown, and conjuring up all sorts of silliness. Last night I found myself beside a river, teaching Kasar my cat, and my son in his younger days, a geography lesson. And then I managed to lose both of them and woke up in quite a panic. 😃

Anyway, whether awake or dreaming, I hope you all have a pleasant week ahead. For those of you having their first vaccine doses, well done and I hope all goes well.

The second phase must be coming very soon now I think.

Take care all. 🌸

15 Replies

Hi Callendersgal, it’s a grey day here too. We had a good weekend but didn’t go anywhere. Family popped round for a wave and chat outside the garden perimeter. Great to see them all. It’s definitely milder and the bulbs in our tubs are pushing through. Spring is almost here.

I also welcome newcomers to this very caring forum. Always good to hear from you.

I do feel for your sister and it does sound like ‘sun downing.’ I have no experience of that personally but hopefully someone else can help. It must be so very frustrating for your sister and of course difficult for her dear husband too.

My dreams have been very vivid and a bit weird. They seem to vary such a lot. Last night I was in bed with a rock star no less. No idea who it was but we just lay next to each other. Very strange.

Enjoy your week. Jab for me tomorrow and I can’t wait. Onwards and upwards.

Love and hugs to all. Xx🌺🌼🥰

CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

I like your dream much more than mine sassy59 🤣🤣🤣xxx

sassy59Ambassador in reply to Callendersgal


Hidden in reply to sassy59

Best of luck with your jab!

sassy59Ambassador in reply to Hidden

Thank you catgirl. X

Lovely day here and I actually have towels outside, whether they dry is another thing!

Karen x

Sorry to hear about the trouble your sister is having with her husband. Karen x

CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to klr31

Thanks Karen. I guess she’ll find her way through it as all caters do, and I might be able to find her a tip or two which will help 👍


I had a nice weekend meeting up with my sister in law outside and having a nice walk and a chat in an area of Cardiff where the streets are named after the solar system like orbit street and system street and jewels like gold street and iron street and went to some parks we had never visited before and it was nice having a change.

Today has been busy and productive as I have been job hunting and applied for some jobs, been on future learn, picked up my prescription at boots, had an early walk as well as the walk to boots and back at lunchtime when the sun had come out and this afternoon has been nice and sunny here.

With regard to the easing of lockdown what I decided on was I'm not going to upset myself by getting my hopes up.


That all sounds really busy catgirl1976. And an interesting fact about the names of Cardiff's streets. Good idea with containing your expectations on lockdown easing. Being realistic can save us from lots of disappointments and frustrations. Very best of luck with your ongoing job hunting! 👍🌈

Good Morning Callendersgal... I do hope your sister will be able to get some decent advice as it all sounds so stressful for both of them.

My sister eventually left hospital last Thursday after another 8 week stay due to intermittent bleeds on the brain and seizures (since last March) and was transferred to a nursing home as still can’t return to her sheltered accommodation. (Doubtful she ever will now).

However, I received a disappointing call yesterday to say she was back in a different hospital after only three days, as the nursing home was in a different area to the residential home she had been at since Covid started. It’s just been horrendous for her and so stressful for the family. I had to repeat everything about the history all over again to a different doctor but I’m sure sometimes they don’t have time to read the medical notes and it is so frustrating repeating everything over and over again! It creates a feeling of bad communication.

I am thankful we have the NHS and for all the marvellous work they do but it took me an hour to try to get through to the hospital so I gave up🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I am waiting to see what news today brings me!

Take care and onwards and up everyone. xxx


Oh I'm so sorry Goldenanny! That sounded a little better for a moment but now you are back at square one and I can only imagine the frustration you are feeling to have her right back in another hospital again and unable to get proper information as to what is going on. I do hope that there's some contact today so that you can at least settle your mind as to what's actually going on. Sending very best wishes that your deep frustration will be resolved a little at least, soon. Take care.

Hi Callendersgal,

I don't know whether your sister has any help from a Community Dementia Nurse? They are excellent at giving advice about sundowning. Your sister could ask her GP for a referral if she doesn't have any contact with one. There are also dementia advisers employed by Social Services. I think there is medication that can help to regulate the circadian rhythm. It sounds as if she really needs some support as she will become exhausted by this and it will prevent her from getting proper sleep which she will need as the main carer.

I too am looking forward to Spring and being able to get out onto my garden. There is nothing better then homegrown veg!

I hope this helps.

Helen xx

CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Hellebelle

Oh thank you so much Helen. I’ll pass that on to her as I don’t believe she has had any help at all. I so agree about the exhaustion and she doesn’t help herself as she feels she must do it all!

I’m really grateful for your excellent advice! 👍🙏

No problem. I really hope your sister and her husband get the help they need.

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