Sad

feel stupid- recently moved house - downsized so been bit traumatic with all excess furniture etc - always been social and got neighbours together - keep putting that off - when we moved in husband diagnosed with Parkinson - he doesn’t want anyone to know - do have 3 great friends who know - am from a large family but lost 3 siblings aged between 18 and 34 - 2 of the remaining seriously ill - My problem is with bad memory and crying - stupid - don’t understand why -

[Hidden]

It sounds like you are depressed, you have had a lot to cope with recently. See your GP.

[sassy59]

Dear elmacv please don’t think you’re stupid because you’re not.

You’ve had so much going on in your life recently and moving alone is very stressful. Your poor husband and his Parkinson’s diagnosis will also be playing on your mind.

Please see your doctor and explain how you are feeling and what’s happening. You need to take care of you too.

Let us know how things go and remember we are here for you. This is a kind and caring forum. Take care xxxxxx

[MEW53]

Hi Elmacv,

Sorry to hear about your situation sounds like it’s all happening to you at the same time.

My late husband and I moved house 7 years ago after living in our old house for 25 years, the maintenance was becoming too much and we moved to a new house. I’m quite outgoing and my husband was fairly quiet, but opposites attract but we were a great team.

We got to know the neighbours as we all moved in around the same time and they have turned out to be very helpful, a good mix of ages. A few years after we moved, we were both working but had to give up work,we both got very ill within a few months of each other and sadly my husband passed away 2 years ago with a rare stomach cancer, he was never ill, I was devastated and still find life very hard.

I have a few very good friends who visit me regularly, it’s difficult to get out and about and a great daughter who rings me every day to check on me and stays when she can. I’ve been lucky to live in a new community where so many people have helped me, you must try and get to know your neighbours cos they can be a bit of a lifeline for you. It might be worth talking to the Parkinson society for advice for both of you and having a word with your doctor and explaining how you feel.

Keep dropping into the forum, cos there are some really helpful people here.

Good luck

[Hidden in reply to MEW53]

Thank you - am usually upbeat and cannot understand why I feel this way - you have been through a lot and coped. I very much appreciate your comments - last house i got all the neighbours together - just wasn’t sure i could cope this time but will definitely invite the neighbours in. Thank you

[MEW53 in reply to Hidden]

I understand how difficult it is to get going on being up beat, but once you start on the neighbourhood meetup it’ll make you feel more positive.

You’ve had some really nice replies from people, glad the forum is helping you.

Keep smiling😀

[FredaE]

I am not surprised you feel like that. If you are worried about dementia you should perhaps get yourself checked out. Parkinsons is nasty but there is a lot can be done to help. . Your husband may want to keep quiet about it until he comes to terms with it but that does not include your medical advisers. If you find there is nothing wrong with you - try thinking of your memory as like a watering can. If you pour too much water into it it will overflow out of the spout. A lot of people feel that is what happens with the brain if you are overloaded. Good wishes for a better future soon

[Hidden in reply to FredaE]

great comment re watering can - my husband doesn’t want any one including family to know - so all stuff on how to help him through this is going round and round - will try and drop the watercan now and then Thank you

[FredaE in reply to Hidden]

The problem with the way your husband is looking at things is that his diagnosis is not just his problem - it is yours as well. Telling someone, and it is nothing to be ashamed of, is the way to get help for you as well as him. It might help if you could persuade him to see it in this light. He cannot keep it a secret for ever. sooner or later people will notice and ask. People like to help but if they sense that the patient is embarassed they will tend to keep away from him - and- you at just the time when you will be needing their friendship most

[Hidden in reply to FredaE]

thank you

[Tone54]

Moved into sheltered housing over 5years ago...wife had her 2nd stroke about 3months ago. Since then she is always on about the past when we had a number of dogs and cats etc..it's all about stress and what that does to certain people..losing 3siblings can effect you deeply without you realising it..and plus your husband's condition...you need someone to talk to......family members sometimes can't understand how you feel..but if there someone else a close friend then perhaps they can help..my wife sometimes is in tears..hates where where we are and wishes we could be like we used to be.....but it's 100times better now..look after her all the time..much safer place..good nieghbours..but it's difficult for her to understand that...like you she cannot understand why she gets and gets so depressed....as always I explain that a part of her mind was altered by the stroke....with you it's perhaps the stress of moving...your husband's condition....family bereavement....so don't for one minute think there's anything wrong with you feel down.....tomorrow is another day....anything might happen

[Hidden]

Hi elmacv,

Please don't feel stupid at all. There's so much going on in your life that you have many reasons to feel sad. Even the upheaval of moving can discombobulate us and make us feel that everything is too strange to cope with. But that will settle down as you become more accustomed to your new surroundings and circumstances.

Talking is of great benefit so try to persuade your husband that you need to share what you are going through.

But as exhaustedwife below has also mentioned, you could well be clinically depressed. That's not being fed up, it's a real mental health issue and you should go to see a GP and explain what's happening with you. He or she will be able to do simple tests to see if your bad memory is just that, or whether you have the early stages of something that might need managing.

Meantime, be kind to yourself. Find anything that might cheer you up a little whether that's a box of chocolates or an outing to buy a new outfit or coffee with friends, a walk in the park, just anything that will lift your spirits.

I do hope you can get to the bottom of this and will feel better soon. Do let us know how you get on.

Very best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you - all your kind comments and this platform has helped - think putting it on ‘paper’ has made me more aware of what i was putting myself through - know i need to take time out now and then mentally - then perhaps better able to cope with whatever comes up - thanks