advice on living costs

[bettyhenstock]

I'm a newbie- can anyone help? my solvent 90 year old mother has just come to live with us following a spell in a care home. We're looking at what would be reasonable to charge her for weekly living expenses. She wants to pay her true cost for everything but her grasp of money is poor. Any advice from experience welcome!

[Bananas5]

Gosh bettyhenstock this is hard one.

Does your mother get any benefits...Attendance Allowance?

My Mum came to live with us at 91and loved every minute she had. All too short though sadly.

Does your Mum need any care? Bathing dressing etc? Is she mobile? Can she go out alone or need assistance? Will you be doing any or all of this? Or carers?

Presumably you will be doing all her cooking washing shopping etc? And will she need extra heating due to her age?

My Mum gave me her Attendance Allowance which 4 yrs ago was around £75 pw. But she paid for a bath to be installed in her bathroom and assorted other bits she needed.. She also gave me a lump sum.

For me just having her with us was all the payment I needed so as I say...hard call

Do let me know if you come up with an amount

x

[bettyhenstock in reply to Bananas5]

Thank you, that's really helpful, thank you for sharing your experience. Yes she gets Attendance Allowance, and needs significant support. She can only come out with us in the car. I'll be doing all the domestic stuff plus prompting to take meds etc but we're bringing carers in for bathing. The extra heating is valid too - first time we've had the central heating on in May! It's a new situation for all of us, so thinking about the purpose of Attendance Allowance is very helpful. Thanks again

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi bettyhenstock,

Welcome to our supportive community. Wow, what an interesting proposal by your mum! Even though she is solvent, it may well be worth your while investigating some benefits she maybe entitled too, such as Attendance Allowance and Carer's Allowance. Check out our Pinned Posts section for more specific information. Also, the Government website: gov.uk/attendance-allowance, and Citizens Advice Bureau: citizensadvice.org.uk/benef...

You have found how supportive folks are here, and some of the things to consider suggested by Bananas5 are good.

Keep in touch, and let us know how you get on.

Take care,

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[Bananas5 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Sadly once retirement age is reached...no Carers Allowance.. That is where AA comes in although there is no mobility component.

x

[Hidden]

Hi bettyhenstock,

A warm welcome to this forum and I'm glad to see you've already had some replies to your question from our caring members! There isn't much I can add to the already very good advice you've been given, but I just wanted to say 'hi' and to welcome you, and I hope you'll check back in with us from time to time and let us know how you manage to resolve this rather tricky one, in a fair way for you both.

[Roessner541]

Guess I never thought about it I took care of my mother and my stepfather.y mother had cancer and my stepdad had all sorts of things going on. That was before I got sick.my mother had a small life insurance and I used all of that to pay for her funeral. I still miss them.