Mum

[irenesbabes]

My Mum has final stage dementia, she has carers 4 times a day but either my brother or myself stay with her.When I stay usually for almost three weeks my brother goes back to his family.Mum is permanently bed bound with other health problems.

[EM1234]

Welcome irenesbabes thanks for sharing, is your mum in a care home? It is good you and your brother can help each other. Do you live near your mum?

[irenesbabes in reply to EM1234]

Mum still lives in her own house,I live in Somerset whilst my brother lives quite close to Mum in Essex therefore when I stay I usually travel by National Express coach.

[Hidden in reply to irenesbabes]

Would it not be better to find a really good dementia care home for her? I know it is lovely to care for your mum but if she is end stage, she probably doesn't know you and would not know where she was living. The home would be equipped to deal with her and any problems. What would your mother say if she knew what you were having to do to keep her in her own home?

[irenesbabes in reply to Hidden]

She does know us.

[sammy90210]

wow that's amazing, taking care of your mom yourself, at home - for dementia patients, if at all possible, it's best they are taken care of in the surroundings they are familiar with

also, there is another forum here where mostly dementia carers comment (it's called PSP, named after a particular type of dementia but everyone is welcome to ask and get info) - healthunlocked.com/psp

[irenesbabes]

Mum knows up to a point that we are there and who my brother and I are. I do know she is grateful for all we do. She doesn't always recognise the grandchildren though.

[Morgantaylor]

My mum thankfully is not bed bound presently, the Carers get mum up and into the lounge by using the hoist. My mum is becoming quite agitated when the Carers are washing and changing her so much so I have had to be called to try and get her to let them attend to her, she has even told me to get out and it's none of my business. She has never been a nasty person and when I go back later I usually ask if she is in a better mood and obviously she asks "Why". Dementia is so very cruel and with mum being a double amputee she does not have a quality of life just existing. She's a different person when my two darling little granddaughters call to see her which is most days.

[Lynn-Osborne]

Hello,

Have you considered 24 hour live in care? However, this will depend on who is funding the care and whether it is a long term affordable option.

Have you considered any carers support for yourself so you can share your experiences and have the support of others in similar situations.

[Paparoachgirl]

Would you be able to move your mum into respite care for a while because it sounds very hard for you and your brother caring for your mum? It is ok having carers but usually they don't have a lot of time to nurse someone who is bedbound. She needs to be turned regularly to prevent pressure sores. I can understand it may not be easy for you to manage and wonder if your mum has a Social Worker that could help you?

[irenesbabes]

Mum has a special air mattress supplied which stops her getting bed sores. Not a good idea to get her into respite.