Acceptance - How......?: Hey again, Does... - Tinnitus UK

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Acceptance - How......?

Maxi80 profile image
21 Replies

Hey again,

Does anybody have any ways to reach acceptance? How can you change the way you think? How can you reduce the distress and annoyance of a permanent noise?

I suppose I’m asking what you said to yourself and to the tinnitus to make it less intrusive. I’m sure it’s more than just ‘oh things could be worse etc’ lol

Thank you all in advance.

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Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80
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21 Replies

I've had tinnitus for 15 years at varying degrees. I've been able to accept it for a long time but I no longer can. I've not changed how I think about it or deal with it. It's the tinnitus that's changed. I believe everyone has a tipping point. I've gone over that point. That said I think you can reduce the stress and annoyance with things like cbt and sound therapy. Acceptance is more difficult .

Happyrosie profile image
Happyrosie

I haven’t tried it myself, Maxi80, but your phrase ‘how can you change the way you think’ brought to mind cognitive behaviour therapy. If you haven’t already, that’s an avenue to explore maybe.

I regard myself as very very lucky in that I’ve had T since childhood and assumed that it was part of everyone’s life. So I just accepted it as part of life’s rich pattern. Just like, I’m not tall so I can’t reach the top shelf in a lot of shops. The lack of height and the T are just things that I have to accept. Though the T is much more intrusive now I’m older.

And, thinking of being not tall, reminds me that just before Covid I was grocery shopping in my local supermarket and couldn’t reach something so asked a very tall gent, a shopper too, to reach it down for me. I’ve done this hundreds of times over the years. He was a bit irate with me; when I apologised he apologised back and said he was sick and tired of people asking him to help.

So what I’m getting at is, everyone has issues and problems they are troubled with, and everyone has to find a way to accept it and move on.

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to Happyrosie

Thanks Rosie. I am trying to relabel how I approach the thought. It’s how repetitive it is that truly bothers me. It’s not a single tone. It’s a repetitive whoosh noise. If the noise was constant I don’t think it would annoy me as much. Does that make sense??

Happyrosie profile image
Happyrosie in reply to Maxi80

It does make sense! I’ve been prescribed new hearing aids; the audiologist set them to suit my ears and they are much louder than before.

So when I’ve been taking my daily exercise tramping round the streets, as I have to when it’s too muddy for my normal walks, the traffic is much louder. And oh boy do notice it! It’s so irritating!

Although my T is louder than traffics passing within a few feet, the extra noise which I didn’t have before is excruciating, so I’m now suffering (but only when I’m out)what you are going through all the time.

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to Happyrosie

I quite like being out and about. The T doesn’t bother me so much. I’ll have to accept that it’s repetitive. Somehow. I’ll get there. Somehow.

Blonde600 profile image
Blonde600 in reply to Happyrosie

Hi happy rosie, I am only 4 ft 7 also with T, I hear what youre saying, I am always having to ask folk to help get things down for me. This post has made me laugh and trust me, aint laughing a lot right now with the guy being annoyed about being asked all the time because hes tall lol.

Happyrosie profile image
Happyrosie in reply to Blonde600

Hee Hee glad it made you smile, Blonde! My point was that even people we (vertically challenged) think have it all - well they don’t! Tallness isn’t a hidden disability like T is. Everyone of us has “issues” which others might dismiss as trivial but it’s important to that person.

_Barnabas profile image
_Barnabas

I think this YouTube video is helpful and encouraging

youtu.be/XDngnIM8KGM

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to _Barnabas

Yes mate, I’ve saw that before.

wallerz profile image
wallerz in reply to _Barnabas

Thanks for sharing, Helpful. She mentioned it started from an infection which I didn't realise could happen.

TinnitusandAye profile image
TinnitusandAye

I know everyone is different but I found doing some reading about Tinnitus really helped. I mainly focused on reliable sources and in all honestly never read anything regarding a ’cure’.

I also find learning about other peoples experiences helpful and joining community pages.

In general, as hard as it is, I try my best to get on and not have panic attacks everytime my T changes. In the beginning stages of course I had many panic attacks.

I hope this helps :)

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to TinnitusandAye

Thanks, mate.

What community pages do you use?

TinnitusandAye profile image
TinnitusandAye

Mainly, Tinnitus UK on Facebook. They have a few other Tinnitus pages too but that's the main one I use.

I listen to Podcasts: Tinnitus Talks and conversation in Tinnitus.

Searching on Youtube but only people who talk about their journey or educational videos. I never watch or listen to cure stuff. Unless it came from reliable source such as British Tinnitus, but so far they haven't posted anything like that

Befriender with British Tinnitus Association, although it's not constant has helped me. I've learnt from others.

bantams profile image
bantams

Hi Maxi80

Hope you are coping better today, I am just like you bad days and good days but I think that at the moment with all the covid lockdowns it is proving harder to manage Tinnitus, hopefully in a few months when things improve and we can get back to sort of normal life it might be easier to accept our Tinnitus.

Stay Strong.

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to bantams

Hey

Yeah when the pubs open it will be better lol

Blonde600 profile image
Blonde600

Hi maxi80, I am forever going on about why on earth there is no trusted relief, I know a cure is a long way off but this day and age no relief ? I believe the powers that be just arent listening and until then, we will never have any funding to research or find anything. Anyway, moving onto your question, I think everyone panicks at first and I am grateful this site is here for us. The word habituation I believe, means basically, you just get used to it being there, and because everyone has different levels etc, you will find your way.

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to Blonde600

Thanks Blonde600 👍

TinnitusUKPat profile image
TinnitusUKPatPartner in reply to Blonde600

Cheers Blonde600 - that's a good description of habituation. When a GP tells you that 'you just have to learn to live with tinnitus', they're not always being deliberately unhelpful but perhaps trying to distill a complicated notion into the limited time that they have with you.

Some people will get used to tinnitus quickly - perhaps they've had other health issues or life challenges which they compare to tinnitus and find those other issues more severe or troubling. A lot of people initially find tinnitus difficult and come to an understanding and acceptance of it. Others still have more difficulty with their T. and their journey to coping with it takes longer. None of those groups has less severe tinnitus than the others - they just experience it differently.

In terms of research and cures, I think it's probably better to not think of one cure for tinnitus but more along the lines of multiple effective treatments - tinnitus can occur in connection with any number of conditions, so a cure for tinnitus overall is a unifying idea behind which we can all rally. The reality, talking as an individual and not as a spokesperson for the BTA, is that treatments for tinnitus caused by hearing loss, by ear injury, by infection, by anaemia, during pregnancy or menopause are more likely than a one-stop-shop.

But, I'd love to proven wrong.

Maxi80 profile image
Maxi80 in reply to TinnitusUKPat

Thanks, Pat 👍

Blonde600 profile image
Blonde600 in reply to Maxi80

Hi Pat

I understand that various conditions and illnesses etc do cause tinnitus and that like you say, not one treatment here is going to fit all but surely no relief at all for the condition ? What is concerning though ,is that peoples sounds are louder than other peoples and some peoples are persistent. I think we have to address that regardless of this, some people do cope better than others , there are some really desperate people on here who really arent coping. They need to know that there is a light for us medically. If our main problem is funding for research should we perhaps be looking at a fund raising lottery? Most are for a pound a week.

crashclown profile image
crashclown

Well this may sound odd too many, but i use it to my advantage.I use it to focus on,to sleep.My sound is like super annoying cicadas on a summer day,that sound really pissed or mildly happy,lol As far as acceptance,well I just look at it..Im a mess,what's one more thing,lol Turn negative to a positive n laugh about it.I said to my tinnitus.."That's all ya got,lol".

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