Tinnitus sufferer - self-inflicted: Hello. I've... - Tinnitus UK

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Tinnitus sufferer - self-inflicted

zedr profile image
zedr
8 Replies

Hello. I've been suffering from moderate tinnitus for the last several years. I admit it is completely self-inflicted due to loud music. I started noticing it some time ago but my mental state was poor and I have abused alcohol. The condition has only become apparent as I've got sober. Now I will suffer from this condition forever. Well, aren't I clever. My symptom is a high-pitched whistle around 15khz. I believe it is called atonal tinnitus. It's extremely unpleasant and can often be very disheartening to have to tolerate. My main treatment is sound therapy. Sine generators tuned to a similar frequency blocks out the noise. Frequencies around 14khz can even temporarily dismiss the whine which gives me a few moments peace. At day I'll listen to the radio or try to be in busy environments. At night I'll play a movie on repeat in the background. This works a little for me. There are many apparent magical cures on the internet but I doubt their authenticity. So much for my ears. Thanks for reading.

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zedr profile image
zedr
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8 Replies
WoodyT profile image
WoodyT

Hi , I’ve read your post and can really sympathise with your suffering. Don’t be too hard on yourself, re the drinking. I think a some of us with T, have used alcohol to get some sort of relief and sense of normality back in our lives .

I’m speaking from experience . I too have used alcohol this past year , to help with the screaming in my head / ears . I’ve tried everything, but nothing has helped , only wine in the evenings gives me a couple of hours peace .

Tinnitus definitely takes us into a state of anxiety and can trigger depression.

Since you have stopped drinking, has your T improved at all ? Do you feel stronger to be able to cope with the T ?

I’m really sorry I can’t give you any words of advice right now , as I’m in the same situation.

Currently trying acupuncture and Chinese medicine, I’ve only had one session, so it’s too early to tell if it makes a difference. I will let you know over the next few weeks . The Chinese doctor said that , if you clear the kidneys, your ears will improve......

I do hope things will improve for you .

This site is very supportive , many of the longer sufferers , will help you move forward and give you good advice.

Take care

Zoë

zedr profile image
zedr in reply to WoodyT

Hi Zoë. Yes it's sad to have no normal left really. I find it can flare up from time to time and leaves me sad and exhausted. It's hard to say where it stands now, much of this is a mental battle, I've reduced my drinking enormously and results vary if I drink, it's probably still there but my mind is more sedated. If I drink a lot though it definitely gets worse. It has definitely become progressively worse and affects my sleep, my concentration and the rest of my health. There are moments where it's unnoticeable such as swimming or being very relaxed. And sound therapy helps too. This is my fault completely for my rock star 20s. I feel like now I'm going to have to rearrange and reduce my expectations for the rest of my life if I'm going to cope with this. I had no idea something like this world be so life-changing.

Yogijo profile image
Yogijo in reply to zedr

Hi, You said you get some relief when you’re very relaxed. Have you tried relaxation techniques to help you deal with the psychological effects of tinnitus? There are some suggestions on the British Tinnitus Association website tinnitus.org.uk/relaxation Since there isn’t a cure it really is a question of finding ways to cope. I already practiced mindfulness and meditation before I was affected but I think they’ve both helped me accept it. It’s strange how the perception of it can change too, I find it seems worse if I’ve got a bad headache which is weird because it’s an internal noise not an external one! I hope you find something to help you.

zedr profile image
zedr in reply to Yogijo

Hi Yogijo, yes I sometimes practice relaxation and like to get regular exercise. It does help out a good deal. Trying to keep positive is a major factor, as you said it does affect the perception of it. Accepting is something I am trying to do. In the past I would have been against it and tried to find a way to successfully treat it or just avoid the reality. Now I know that it isn't possible and it will never go away. Accepting it is a challenge for every day, every hour, every second. I'm tired of hating myself because it's not helping and I want to help myself. But I have to be completely realistic and accept that it will take up much of my daily strength. I will not be able to invest that strength in other things for a more decent life and I'm already very poor but may have to look at options where I will have to look at cheaper ways to live. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't concentrate, I can't function properly, it's louder than my own voice and it is likely it shall get worse with age to the point where I can't cope at all. This is virtually a prison sentence. It will never recover or get better. The only thing that can help me is myself until I am no longer able to. I don't know what to feel. Music and film were my coping mechanisms when there was nothing else. The fact I have to live with this makes me feel sick. I'd have never looked at them as choices to cope if I'd known it would have destroyed my life so badly.

Yogijo profile image
Yogijo in reply to zedr

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with this. Accepting doesn’t mean giving up hope of a cure at some point in the future it just means accepting that right now that isn’t an option. Show yourself some compassion, hating and blaming yourself are likely to make you feel worse and won’t change the fact that you have tinnitus. At this point it doesn’t matter how you got to this situation it’s just about working out a way forward. I think mine resulted from an ear infection and initially I kept wondering ‘why me?’ and ‘how could something so mundane cause this?’ but those thoughts weren’t helpful and just made me feel angry and agitated.

For some people specially tuned hearing aids can help (even if you don’t have hearing loss). If you’re finding it hard to cope with everything at the moment I would talk to your GP. Have you looked at the online resource Take on Tinnitus? It has some information about things that can help takeontinnitus.co.uk/#home

I hope you manage to find something that helps.

zedr profile image
zedr in reply to Yogijo

Thank you for your reassuring words. I really appreciate them. To me positivity is the only key out of this. Keeping better care of myself is the way through. Having someone to talk to makes it much easier to cope, that's for sure. I feel sad that you got your own condition through no fault of your own, unlike me, that's so stupidly unfair in comparison. I will try to use every resource out there. Thanks again.

Yogijo profile image
Yogijo in reply to zedr

You’re welcome. Good luck and look after yourself!

Jumpey profile image
Jumpey

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing and sending love and wishes for a good quality of life.x

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