A Positive Experience: I was talking with a... - Tinnitus UK

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A Positive Experience

Sally07 profile image
14 Replies

I was talking with a friend yesterday whom I've known for three years but had not told about my tinnitus issue. On the spur of the moment I decided to tell her about it, and I was very surprised when she responded that she has it too. She said she's had it (in both ears) for about a year, she doesn't know exactly what caused it, and she has 'just got used to it.'

So that's when I realised that these people who have 'habituated', who do not compromise their lives in any way for tinnitus and who are happy in spite of it, really do exist and there are more of them about than you think! They usually aren't on forums (if she is on this forum and reads this, this is going to be awkward! XD) so you don't hear their story unless you discover them 'in the wild' XD. But it's super encouraging to know that while there ARE some people who experience deep, persistent suffering from tinnitus, there are also people who experience it as a minor inconvenience at worst. If you're a new sufferer especially, don't be so sure you're going to end up in the former category!

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Sally07 profile image
Sally07
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14 Replies
ade-the-pade profile image
ade-the-pade

Good to hear a positive story.

Ade

vr25 profile image
vr25

I am having tinnitus for more than 25 years and I am living comfortably with it. Now T is mybest friend! You should not have aversion to T. Start loving it or ignoring it..it will not come in the way of your normal life..The absolute silence and loud noise are the enemies of T. So keep your T safely away from them and have a peaceful life..

Richmac profile image
Richmac

Initially, I was truly overwhelmed and thought having tinnitus would surely drive me mad to the point I would have to jump off my balcony (24th floor).

Today it truly is just an “inconvenience.” I knew I would have to use my cognitive powers to deal with this non stop ringing. I told myself and the tinnitus that I was still in charge and that I would just ignore the tinnitus. I immediately stopped catastrophizing and decided just to ignore it. So it gradually eased and that’s when I knew it was extremely important that I ignore it and stop pitying myself. There truly are many worse things.

I have gone up to three weeks where my tinnitus is barely audible.

I wish this could work for everyone but I appreciate we are all not the same.

But try to remember that your reaction to tinnitus can make it better or make it worse.

God bless,

Richard

Sally07 profile image
Sally07 in reply to Richmac

I couldn't agree more! A person's reaction to it is extremely important, and can make a real difference. When I first developed mine I was terrified, and the stuff I read online (which mainly reflects negative experiences) just made it worse. It was such a steep learning curve when I realised that the calmer I was, the less I was bothered by it, and that this was cumulative. I'm so glad that this seems to have happened for you too!

Best wishes,

Sally

Navkhan786 profile image
Navkhan786 in reply to Richmac

Thank you post this post. I’m 4 months in and have a 1-2 days followed by a few bad days. I’m convinced that the reason it’s so hard is bc I do associate value to it. Can you share any suggestions ? Thanks so much.

Sally07 profile image
Sally07 in reply to Navkhan786

Hi :) I'm getting a bit better at not giving it too much negative value. For instance, I used to get upset at the thought that I'd 'never hear silence again.' Now I kind of see my tinnitus sounds as 'what silence sounds like for me.' I used to think it would prevent me from concentrating but actually because mine is constant my brain is able to focus on other things if I am in a room with some background sound, like a cafe, or a room with quiet music. If I ever find myself putting negative value on it, like 'I'll never feel relaxed', or 'I'll always feel isolated', then I make an effort to prove myself wrong and eight times out of ten I manage it eventually. It's been nearly a year for me, and now I feel much more in control of my life and able to just wave the negative thoughts away (not always but most of the time).

Anyway, hope this helped, and all the best!

Navkhan786 profile image
Navkhan786 in reply to Sally07

Hi - this is super helpful and encouraging. I went out to a friends house for dinner and was able to not pay attention for at least 20 mins. I’m so grateful for that. One last question - what’s your regimen for getting to sleep? I wish you continued peace.

Sally07 profile image
Sally07 in reply to Navkhan786

Hi again :) I forgot to mention the app I use at night to get to sleep. It's called 'ReSound Tinnitus Relief.' It's free, and it has different sounds designed to match or mask tinnitus sounds. I have a stereo system in my room, and I plug my phone into it so that the sounds fill the room. Usually I turn it off before I actually get to sleep, because I get to the point where I'm relaxed enough and not focused on the t, but I think there's also a setting on the app which makes it turn itself off after a specific amount of time. Glad to hear you 'left the t behind' for a bit! I used to find that really hard to do, and now it's much easier. I hope things continue to improve!

All the best!

Navkhan786 profile image
Navkhan786 in reply to Sally07

Super helpful. I’m using a timer for the night and that’s encouraging. Really trying to crack the code around addressing coping after a good day. The main thing is to avoid rumination and thoughts by using distractions, such is making a list of things that will give me a sense of accomplishment, walking , family time and calling friends.

Gwynydd profile image
Gwynydd

I think you mean that their level of tinnitus has not compromised their lives. We cannot legislate for anyone and how they manage. It does not mean that Tinnitus should not be researched for all those who find it difficult. One size does not fit all. I am always glad to hear about those who can manage. However our own personal circumstances also affect how we manage. My heart goes out to all people who suffer worse than I do and I understand their pain.

Sally07 profile image
Sally07 in reply to Gwynydd

Of course! I understand that there are different levels of tinnitus, that some have it far worse than others. The thing is, I could have sworn that when I first got mine it was pretty bad. I could hear it clearly over the sound of a busy city for instance, and when I looked online I was bombarded with the idea that it was going to be forever, and that I was going to be in this pain forever. This was a dangerous thing for me to hear and it got me into trouble, so I want people who are in the same position as I was to know that it's possible to adapt to it, and as you adapt to it, for it to improve. I'm fairly sure that's what happened with me. I 100% support research! I'm well into this new program looking at activating 'progenitor cells' to hopefully regrow damaged hair cells. It's super exciting!

Gwynydd profile image
Gwynydd in reply to Sally07

Hi , thank you for your reply. In our house we use the word optimistic. My husband has fought cancer for so many years with great dignity and courage knowing his cancer does not have a cure at the moment. I feel the same about Tinnitus. There are so many different scenarios. No two people have the same sound or experience. I do not have my rapid heartbeat during the day. Sometimes I go for days without the sound at night. It is impossible to habituate in these circumstances. It arrives out of the blue and is dealt with as and when. I have tried a number of things to help and some work better than others but most of the things that work go against the advice of those who habituate. I believe that talking about our experience fosters understanding and helps understand our unique experience. T here is a reason for what happens to me. We just do not know what it is yet and why.

Sally07 profile image
Sally07 in reply to Gwynydd

Hi :) Thank you for this insightful message. I hope my original post didn't offend, and apologies if it did; I believe I worded it carelessly. I didn't mean to suggest that everyone's t can be 'habituated to', just that it's a possibility for some, including some of those who find it completely insurmountable at first. As you say, optimism is important, especially when there is no current cure for horrible illnesses. I take comfort from thinking of all the clever people working hard to find cures for these horrible illnesses, as well as people who help with the emotional/mental side by spreading hope and empathy, like everyone on this amazing site!

All the best!

TurkishLady profile image
TurkishLady

I've read somewhere That There's a positive correlation and paradox between Stress and Tinnitus! When you get stressed more about the ringing, it rings more, it rings more, you get stress more... It's a paradox and ignoring is the only way to break this paradox! I personally experienced this and totally agree.

Try to be healthy and ignore it:))

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