Rosacea and dating

[PaulGeary1979]

Hiya everyone I'm Paul I'm a postman and I'm 37 and single (hint hint) I've suffered from anxiety for about 8 years,but the last month I noticed my cheeks started burning 🔥 all the time,and i started to get the odd flush and my cheeks were red,I went to doctors and they did blood work,all came back fine, testosterone fine,and they put by it down to anxiety,although I've never flushed or had red skin ever which I found strange, it continued, went back, gave me daktarin for fungal,didn't work,went back, they said it maybe the onset of rosacea but they weren't convinced, so they gave me a month supply of tetracycline and some rozex, still getting odd flush and red cheeks,smooth,no broken veins,no bumps, it's really knocked my confidence and I feel totally unable to look for a lady, people say it's not that noticeable but it is for me, they should set up a rosacea dating site.....off back to docs on Monday,maybe can try a different ssri seen as I've been on the citalopram so long,how's everyone with rosacea doing out there??? Come on don't be shy x

[Tangaroa]

Hi Paul - I am also male 37 (so much for your Rosacea dating site lol)I have been suffering with a burning sensation on my face and neck for the past month (maybe longer). I have had issues with anxiety in the past but not currently so I am not sure that it is the cause. It feels like I have sun burn (this isnt whats causing it either) and can feel quite sore. I am not really a "red" person and have never really suffered from flushing before. The GP briefly mentioned rosacea but then seemed to talk himself out of it as I dont have bumps etc. I do have some visible blood vessels on the nose which he said was caused by the sun ( I work outdoors).

So no answers for you other than to say the skin is an odd organ and I hope you get to the bottom of your issues as I do with mine.

[PaulGeary1979 in reply to Tangaroa]

Yeah the doc was the same with me,well three of them,they aren't convinced it's rosacea as I have no thread veins of bumps,just smooth skin that blushes, they put me on four month course of tetracycline and some rozex cream, but I can't really say I've noticed any difference, I work outside to so with getting older and weather on skin all time it's just the skin changing,It may be anxiety related,I'm not too bad but if I feel a bit hot or uncomfortable I do tend to focus on the burning cheeks and it's ten times worse,it's hard to relax when your face is burning 🔥, I hope you get some relief, I've found moisturising more has helped the burning, like twice a day with cetraban, and I'm going to get a tinted moisturiser to even out my skin tone,it's not that bad,just a ruddy glow like a farmer but it gets on my nerves and affects my confidence, alcohol and spicy food doesn't affect me either,I'm more sensitive to the sun,but I'm putting that down to bad sunburn I got 3 months ago

[JBTT]

Paul, apart from any medication you may be prescribed, I would recommend to you to start using Liz Earle products (cleanser & moisturiser) as this range is very gentle & soothing for sore or problematic skin (whatever the condition) - and they do a mens' range too. I used to suffer rosacea from time to time and it always calmed it right down and my skin is now "normal". I can't recommend it highly enough. (Also, ease off booze and spicy food)!

[PaulGeary1979]

Thanks for the skin advice, alcohol and spicy food do not trigger anything in me,I'm thinking it's probably sensitive skin and my anxiety as if anything it calms down when I've had a few pints.

[Violetta62]

Hi Paul,

This is going to sound harsh but it's not meant to be.

Why do you feel anxious? It's up to you how you feel, nobody else. If you decide you're afraid of something, you will be afraid. If you decide you can't lose weight, you won't lose weight. If you decide you're nervous around women, you will be nervous around women.

Start telling yourself different stories, tell yourself it's easy and it will be, try it!

Start looking at your life in a different way, think about how lucky you are, what you're grateful for and avoid the TV and News like the plague. I'm not saying that you should't face what's going on, I am saying that how you think and feel determines your life. Think about everything you're anxious about, why are you anxious about that? Why don't you worry about the things you don't worry about? Think about something you don't worry about, something that comes easy to you, why do you find that so easy? It's because of the way you think about it.

I'm very slim, I've been slim all my life (I'm 54) and I know I'll never be fat.... No questions, I just know I'll never be fat because I'm convinced I'll never be fat. That's what I tell my brain, that's what I believe and that means that my body does whatever it needs to do to stay slim, even though I eat loads of butter and never count calories. I can't tell you how it works, I'm just telling you that it does.

The more you stress about getting a girlfriend, the more you're pushing women away. Why is it that some men manage to get a girlfriend so easily? Because they don't have doubts, they don't put obstacles in the way.

You need to challenge your thoughts, find out where they come from and start telling yourself different stories. Oh yes, and you need to relax and NOT try too hard, it shows. Start thinking better of yourself, it works!

Also, you need to take the importance out of it, putting too much importance on anything makes it go wrong.

Best wishes and good luck,

Violetta