Hope you're all doing okay and as healthy as can be.
So a bit of background on me, I am a 31 year old woman with a drinking history. I drank very heavily from about 21-29 but have been sober for almost 2 years. I had an ultrasound last year after mildly elevated liver enzymes which showed a fatty liver. Since then, I have lost about 45 pounds through diet and exercise. Since losing weight, my bloodwork has normalized and my latest ALT was 9 with AST 17 from two weeks ago. Bilirubin has always been low (.3 - .5), platelets have been in the 370s to low 400s, albumin around 4.9-5.1 for the past several years, all other numbers seem to be normal (MCH, MCV, Alk phosphate).
But, I have had several spider angiomas appear that make me fear that cirrhosis was mistaken for fatty liver. The larger one I have had since before my first ultrasound for several years now, however, I believe I have found another one on my bicep. It is a very small red dot with very two very faint veins that can be seen coming from it when I shine a flashlight on it. In normal light, the veins aren't visible but if I am in very bright daylight and looking very closely or using a flashlight, they are visible. I also have many tiny dots on my arms and stomach that I previously thought were cherry angiomas but am now doubting that they may be the start of spider angiomas. I do have PCOS and have had issues with high estrogen symptoms in the past due to it so am hoping that somehow it may be related to a hormone imbalance but I am so scared that my cirrhosis was missed. I have an upcoming follow-up ultrasound in December and my first appointment with a gastroenterologist in January (there are no heps in my area) due to the spider angiomas but I am really struggling with dealing with the fear and the waiting.
I find myself not able to function very well and am compulsively googling things and checking my skin constantly. I am finding it very difficult to eat or concentrate on anything else and have daily panic attacks. I have tried very hard to get control of my anxiety and recently started seeing a therapist who insisted I wouldn't be able to get control of my anxiety until getting a diagnosis which is likely months away. I am just wondering, how do you deal with the fear and anxiety while waiting for appointments and exams? Does anyone else struggle this much with fear? How do you deal with your diagnosis? Does anyone have tips or experience for how they handled a similar situation? I appreciate if anyone has any advice for me to help me through the next few months while waiting.
Thank you very much for reading all this if you made it through. All of your stories and posts have helped me very much.