Husband diagnosed with Alcoholic liver disease/cirrhosis

[Judy2001]

Pls help my husband was diagnosed with decompensated liver disease/cirrhosis due to having alcoholic hep at Christmas his child Pugh score was 12.2 he did stop drinking until June his scores wasn’t improving so he said waste of time and decided he was gonna start drinking again he has developed ascites again and has really bad bouts of HE his jaundice is slowly coming back and he is very week and he has constant hiccups, he drinks the super strength beer all day long while he is awake, he barely eats and don’t drink any other fluids at all his personality changes are awful he even says he sees lost loved ones I just don’t know what to he won’t listen to me or attend any hospital appointments.

I just don’t know what to do

[Lilliebell]

I’m so sorry to hear this but he needs some professional help and quickly . You probably should call 111 or your Doctor . His liver is probably in a very bad way and he definitely should not be drinking .Sadly only he at the end of the day can help himself and want to get better . I wish you the best and really hope he will listen to you and get the help . I have cirrhosis from alcohol and gave up over 5 years ago and it’s the bast thing I ever did it’s not easy for some but I am proof and many others in that same position too can lead great lives without alcohol , addiction is a terrible illness to have but can be beaten . Make sure you Take care of yourself as I imagine this is very stressful for you.

[Judy2001 in reply to Lilliebell]

Thank you for your kind words, I am very stressed atm he just doesn’t listen he was doing so well but because his scores wasn’t improving he just gave up I always try to talk to different professionals who are involved with him but it’s like they don’t listen to me but thank you for your reply

[deanw41]

Unfortunately he has to want it,nothing will work if he doesn’t I’m afraid.

[Richard-Allen]

Hello Judy,

Sadly, there are two separate things are going on here.

Firstly there is alcohol abuse, and secondly, there is the damage being caused to the body. Once a person’s drinking becomes so intense, this now becomes an addiction. They are now drinking because they have to, not because they want to.

All addictions become mental health conditions, So now we have both mental and physical damage that needs to be addressed. If they were to try and mend the physical without treating the mental aspect then all that hard work will have been for nothing.

When a person starts to develop a drinking problem, they do so for many reasons. It could be for These could be out of habit, a lack of confidence in their abilities, to blank out a traumatic episode in their lives, and also as a form of escapism. There are many reasons.

I have recently responded to a similar post earlier this morning to Melissa. Please take a look at my message here: healthunlocked.com/britishl...

Sadly the Hepatic Encephalopathy (HE) is what is causing the mood changes. These can become unpredictable, and different people appear to develop different symptoms. However, classic signs are loss of memory, confusion and frustration. These episodes can often be outspoken and appear horrible. It should be remembered that these words aren’t real. The person has no idea what they are saying at the time. It can be quite frightening and upsetting for a child to see their parent behave like this. It has to be remembered that HE is now a brain injury and episodes of HE can come and go. (I shall send you some more information in a private message).

Many local hospitals now employ an alcohol liaison nurse or a specialist alcohol liaison team. These people are trained in all aspects of alcohol abuse and can put together an action plan to deal with the mental health aspect and in some cases detox if needed. This way the hospital is treating both the physical and mental health aspects at the same time.

I would go back to your GP and ask him/her to write to the Alcohol liaison team and ask for their advice.

It’s never too late for your husband to decide to fight this. But he has to want to.

I wish you well, and I shall write more later.

Good Luck

Richard.

[Hidden]

Hello Judy2001,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation.

I can see our forum members are offering their opinions and support.

I wonder if you may benefit from contacting al-anon. They are a charity to support those who are affected by another persons alcohol use.

al-anonuk.org.uk/

Please take care of yourself,

Trust9

[Dogbot]

I’m so sorry for your predicament I am the alcoholic in our partnership and put my wife through misery, I have been sober 18 years now and on the transplant list. As others have said he is really the only one who can help himself but my life has been fantastic since I gave up , maybe you could show him some of the replies from the members of the forum it might help 🤷🏻‍♂️, good luck with your journey and hubby’s but don’t forget to look after yourself. Stay Safe All Dogbot 🐶🌈

[Hidden]

Hi Judy.I am very sorry to read how you are struggling to cope living with someone addicted to alcohol. Unfortunately you are going round in circles, banging your head on a brick wall trying to make him come to his senses and do what he needs to do .... give up the booze for good. Having been in the situation you are in for myself, l can tell you unless he does, he will without doubt die. He is very seriously ill and has 2 major battles to fight, his addiction and his severe liver disease causing a whole host of symptoms which l know are terrifying for you to witness.

I put up with 4 years of torture watching my husband destroy himself and the wonderful life we once had as a family, until l reached the point where l could not put up with another day of protecting my children from seeing their Father persistantly drinking, suffering HE, having hallucinations, stealing money, falling, bleeding, discharging himself from hospital, and all the other rubbish that comes with it. I was still having to work full time running my business, running the children to and from after school activities and trying to squeeze a little time for myself away from all the insanity.

All l could do in the end was send him to his Mother who was in as much denial about his drinking problem as he was. But once she could see it for herself and he saw how much he was about to lose... his home and family, he finally admitted he "might have a drink problem" and 1 to 1 councelling at his Mother's was set up and l told him if he could beat it he could come home and for 3 months he gave up. Sadly though it was all too late. His liver failed, his kidneys failed, he develped bronco pneumonia and died after 10 days in intensive care at just 54 years old.

That sadly is the reality of what happens if you don't face the demon and attack it head on and beat it. At best if your hubby quits drinking now he has a chance of survival with a lot of help from professionals and not throwing it back in their faces and transplant if he can stay sober for at least 6 months and pass the assessment but its a long tough road. My heart goes out to you. Those who know me know l won't sugar coat what it's like for families living with an addict and you alone need as much , if not more support from those around you than the addict. They become blissfully unaware of how much they are hurting their loved ones. Their only thought is where their next drink is coming from. Cut off his access to bank accounts and cash. Pour all the booze in the house down the loo .. that's where it will end up so miss out the middle man it's destroying.

You take good care of yourself sweetheart. Don't be afraid to cry out for help .

Laura xxx