New to forum, any help or tips please... - British Liver Trust

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New to forum, any help or tips please...

Lisa-H_1 profile image
10 Replies

First time here, wife of husband with alcohol related cirrhosis.

Any tips for going back out into the outside world after lockdown i.e.

going out with friends and not drinking/going on holiday where you normally would have a glass or two of wine at lunch and with dinner etc. Does anyone have any comment re non-alcoholic beer? They come under the same heading but can be 0.0, 0.3 and 0.5 - i don't know what the difference is?

As a partner have you also given up drinking?

Any comments welcome.

thanks

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Lisa-H_1 profile image
Lisa-H_1
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10 Replies
Richard-Allen profile image
Richard-Allen

The vast amount of people who get alcohol-related liver disease are not alcoholics. For many, it has become a habit, a lifestyle. I often refer people to this video which features Dr Gautam Mehta: youtu.be/QCiS97wgF-U this video is now some five years old, but because alcohol off sales have increased by almost 27% due to covid, it is still very evident of the crises facing the NHS today.

The drinking of alcohol-free wines, beers and spirits is often a contentious issue on this forum. For some people who do end up having end-stage liver disease through alcohol-abuse, there may become a point whereby a liver transplant is the only course of action.

Your husband will no doubt be having six-monthly MRI scans. This is to identify any possible tumours that might begin to grow on the liver. Although these tumours can be dealt with using a liver ablation technique, once they do start to grow a transplant may be the only viable long term option.

When it is decided that a patient requires a liver transplant, they will be assessed by a team of specialist people who will assess a person to make sure that they are both physically and mentally fit to endure a five-hour operation. One of these five people on the assessment panel will consist of a psychiatric doctor or nurse. They will be looking for any signs of addiction issues or suicidal tendencies.

A person whose liver transplant is due to alcohol-abuse will normally be given a questionnaire to take home to complete. These are a series of questions aimed to identify a person’s attitude towards alcohol. The need to want to drink alcohol is very much a mental attitude. the assessment team need to be sure that a person is no longer addicted, or indeed drawn to the taste, as these may indicate that a person still has issues. A person will not be considered for a liver transplant if they have consumed any alcohol for at least six months, and if a person is drinking alcohol-free beer, wines, or spirits, they too will be excluded from having a transplant. This decision will be reconsidered in a further six months if they're still alive.

Even when a person has been accepted onto the liver transplant waiting list, they may have to enter into a contract whereby they swear not to consume alcohol every again and agree to a life of total sobriety.

So, the question has to be, is that alcohol drink really worth it?

Best wishes

Richard

The other thing I would all is that if these people are good friends, they would be doing all they could to support their friend. They would be encouraging your husband not to drink even alcohol-free, if your husband's resolve is strong enough, then he shouldn't have a problem with this or of his friends drinking. It's just one of those things he needs to get use to. The more this happens the stronger his resolve will grow.

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall

Hey Lisa welcome to the forum! While some here may still find the issue "contentious"alcohol-free drinks have really come a long way and are very trendy now as a way to drink socially without the ill effects of hangover, drunk driving and future liver disease. This subject has come up before, you might want to search past posts for specific brands.

If your husband is having a hard time with quitting, you may want to consider giving it up too. I can tell you, cirrhosis can be a lonely road to go down when you get the feeling that all your friends are at a party you weren't invited to. It is not true that someone who drinks alco free only will not be given a life-saving transplant if needed, in fact that defies common sense, as it shows a great deal of restraint and positive self-love to begin to take care of yourself. I hope this helps! Please feel free to reach out via private message if you have any questions or if l can be of further assistance. x

TT-2018 profile image
TT-2018 in reply to Bootandall

With respect Boots, you are in the States and have no knowledge about the NHS approach to this subject. Unlike the ‘for profit’ system in the US, the NHS is the most standardised health system in the world. There is no way that you can navigate around the NHS blood and transplant service, if you require a transplant.

So Richard’s reply applies across the whole system, the subject of alcohol substitutes remains a relevant subject when you are psychologically evaluated for an assessment in the case of an alcohol related diagnosis.

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to TT-2018

With all due respect, Lisa's question wasn't about anyone's transplant requirements, it was about socially drinking as part of a couple, one who has been diagnosed with cirrhosis.

Times are changing, non-alco drinks are on offer at many food and drink establishments that only had beer, wine or soft drinks before. More people are calorie and health conscious than in past generations, so no excuse is even necessary. It is a valid choice that responsible adults in social situations make every day.

BTW it was even stated above that not everyone with alcohol- related cirrhosis has got a drinking problem.

TT-2018 profile image
TT-2018 in reply to Bootandall

With respect, you have made a specific claim “it is NOT true that someone who drinks alco free only will NOT be given a life saving transplant if needed”.

The statement is misleading because if the diagnosis is alcohol related, then you can be denied a transplant if you choose to switch to substitutes. It is why you are specifically asked the question, as part of the psychological assessment.

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to TT-2018

While I can appreciate that, that entire discussion kind of misses the point, which was to ask about social drinking while on holidays or out with friends (after lockdown).I have written before about the awkwardness of socializing as an adult with compensated cirrhosis and a drinking spouse. Obviously if someone is an alcoholic or is currently decompensated, it is not advisible to drink. I even suggested that Lisa consider giving up alcoholic drinks in a show of support. But for the most part, non-alcoholic drinks are becoming mainstream and are a much better alternative than feeling left out. Which l thought was the point.

BTW you may be surprised to learn that the US uses a similar pre-transplant assessment, only the focus is on the number of alcoholic drinks one consumes. I have never heard of anyone getting cirrhosis of the liver as a result of drinking too many non-alcoholic drinks. I suppose it could happen.

Lisa-H_1 profile image
Lisa-H_1 in reply to Bootandall

Thank you for your response. Yes it was the social aspect of things i'm trying to get my head around. We are not at transplant time yet. I would have thought if you can feel slightly normal with the same colour drink in your hand as others it must be good for you mentally rather than looking at a glass of water. I totally appreciate just how contentious this is though and when it doesn't hit they maybe tempted for the real thing.

i'm sick with worry, so upset for him and angry and then ok sometimes. Time will help us and i do believe my husband will not drink as long as we manage things correctly with difficult situations.

Hi and welcome Lisa,

If you would like to call the nurse led helpline on 0800 652 7330 Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm we can have a chat.

Best wishes.

kyia profile image
kyia

When my partner was diagnosed with cirrhosis in 2017, one of the first things he said was that he could never go to the pub again! After about 6 months, he found that not only could he face the pub without alcohol, that he actually enjoyed an ice-cold blackcurrant and soda! It can take time for us all to get used to changes in our lives and I knew that I would have to give up drinking myself to support him, because I would never be able to forgive myself if I were the cause of him drinking again.

Lisa-H_1 profile image
Lisa-H_1 in reply to kyia

Thank you that is really helpful. My husband is not a talker so will cope with things himself which I think is harder but we will see.

Big changes but I will support him and he has good friends.

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