In mid 2018 I was diagnosed with stage 4 liver failure, caused by alcohol abuse, with ascites my main decompensation.
Since then, I have abstained from drinking and followed all instructions and medications as directed by my liver team, enduring the "diuretic dance" every night, as I called it. Christmas and New Year without alcohol was my lowest point, but I got through it. Slowly but surely, my blood tests showed a gradual improvement in liver function. My appetite gradually returned, and I started to put on some of the muscle mass that my liver had eaten.
Yesterday I saw my consultant, I was expecting news of more slight improvement, and be told to "keep up the good work". Instead, he announced that I have recovered to normal liver function, and my ascites is gone! I still have a large hernia and must stay on the diuretics for 6 months to ensure there is no return of the ascites, but he said I can now think about returning to work.
However, I wonder why I am not feeling the expected elation and sense of achievement that this news should bring. I am nervous, about getting back to "normal" life, and living again. I have hoped for this moment so much, but I feel rather unprepared now that it has suddenly landed. I tell myself it is a brief period, adjusting to a different mindset from the "recovery bubble" I have been in. I wonder if anyone else can relate to these feelings?
I want to thank everyone in this group who has shared their knowledge and experience and support. It has been invaluable in my progress