Bob the umbilical hernia : Well, Bob has... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Bob the umbilical hernia

Brett11 profile image
57 Replies

Well, Bob has decided to grow. It’s not fluid retention as my weight is still the same. I thought he couldn’t get any bigger but he has. ☹️

On another note, why are all American men called Randy?

Cheers,

Brett

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Brett11 profile image
Brett11
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57 Replies

Aw brett ☹️ Are you getting it loked at?

I don’t know. Why are all American men called Randy?

Miles

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to

I’m having an ultrasound next week.

Is it because they are Randy?

in reply to Brett11

Oh right good luck brett.

God, how silly of me - I could and should have worked that out 😁

🇧🇧

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to

I think it’s false advertising!! I’ve never met a randy Randy!!

in reply to Brett11

😁😁😁

in reply to Brett11

Have you been looking?

in reply to

Careful with the G word Miles. 😂

in reply to

Wot, did you think I didn’t know what I was doing 😁 hehe

in reply to

Those rubber shoes don’t half make my feet sweat 💦

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

Saves you from getting singed hair though!

in reply to

Odd man odd 😁 what the umph are you on about 😁. I’m certainly not on your wavelength. I could say thank God, but that would be wrong on two counts (joke!)

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat

Hi Brett, hope that they sort out Bob soon for you. I thought that all american men were called Chuck or John-boy! lol

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to alfredthegreat

Have you ever seen a Chuck chuck?

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to Brett11

Only a woodcutters chuck I'm afraid, lol

in reply to alfredthegreat

The RSPB tweet

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

I know that chuck chucks lay chuckie eggs and they go cluck not tweet!!

in reply to alfredthegreat

Am I being clucked off?

in reply to Brett11

I assume that rule one went after Jol Bjelke Peterson left?

in reply to

You what

in reply to

Brett will get that one, unmentionable on here.

in reply to

Think Monty Python on Australia and then google the name.

in reply to

Google monty python rule number 1

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

And 7.

in reply to

Weird man weird

in reply to

Rule 1 or 7? Or have you been smoking something.

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

You've got to admit, the clues were very cryptic!

in reply to alfredthegreat

You have got to keep Miles on his toes, plus the PC element. (That is of course Personal Computers).

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

Think Milo's ahead of me on the PC element. I'm not very PC proficient, I'm on a laptop and I can type with 2 fingers. With shaky hands I'm not good at touch screens and before shaky hands pre transplant I didn't like them anyway. I can google, I can converse and that's about my lot!

in reply to alfredthegreat

Sums me up, wtf is cut and paste?

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to

Beats me and my brain is too lazy to find out! I've got a Wileyfox phone. Can't use it through shaking hands but didn't like using it before anyway. Just use it for calls and texts. Technology and me don't get on I prefer to stay mainly in the stoneage!

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to

I’m still looking for the “any” key?

My computer is locked and it says press any key? Hold on, I’ll ask Randy 😂

Thistle09 profile image
Thistle09 in reply to Brett11

Choke, choke. :-) lol. Y'all are soooo funny. IMO, ALL men are horny.

Brett, how big IS Bob, your umbilical hernia? My hiatal hernia is 13mm, which is .5118 inch(es). My liver doctor sniffed imperiously and said, holding up her diminutive pinky finger, marking the last joint at the halfway point, "That's only about this long." Next time I see her, I will ask if she would undertake removal of this supposedly inoperable THING.

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to Thistle09

Mine is the size of my whole stomach. Seriously, it is all of my intestines. It has even stopped poking back in when I lie down. No it’s not fluid build up either lol. It’s as big as a soccer ⚽️.

Thistle09 profile image
Thistle09 in reply to Brett11

Holy cow! Where is your "team" ? Do they not consider this an emergency? That sounds horrifying; no wonder you have abdominal pain. I'm worried. xo

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to Thistle09

They won’t touch it as it’s not life threatening. It’s too close to my portal vein apparently.

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to Brett11

You could do with a 'skeleton key'. There again, it could be next to the 'any key' when you find it! Randy may be to busy to answer! lol

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to alfredthegreat

I don’t speak to Randy anyone. We broke up.

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to Brett11

Hope that's a joke Brett and that you're not all on your own with Bob to deal with??

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to alfredthegreat

Yes! I had to break up with Randy as I saw his tinder profile. He has an umbilical hernia fetish. He only loved be because of my hernia and not me!!

Sooooooo funny 😂 😂 😂 😂

I do come away with good ones sometimes 😂

Now Bobs crying . He says he misses Randy 😂

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to Brett11

Lol Brett. But joking aside, surely they will do something about your hernia? You surely can't live like that indefinitely? Even with the portal vein issue it must be health risk to you as it is at the moment. Alf

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to alfredthegreat

I’m seeing the liver doctor in a couple of weeks. I’m having an ultrasound on the hernia this Friday. Hopefully there may be some hope in the results.

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat in reply to Brett11

Hope it's a really good outcome for you Brett. Positive vibes coming your way. Alf

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to alfredthegreat

Thanks Alf. I’ll let you know if your positive vibes worked.

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat

Hello, Brett. I am late to this conversation, and by now, I think Bob has received his ultra-sound? Hope the results indicate a resolution is on the horizon? I don't quite understand how Bob and Randy go together (being American, I miss British humor sometimes), or maybe Randy was just thrown in for fun? In any case, you got some hilarious replies - thanks for that, much needed today! So, about Randy ... I'm happy to report there are actually very few of them around these days - it’s not a popular name. One great thing about it, though (yes, I did have to look this up, lol), is that it comes from the old English word "rand," which means "to rant." Ranting is great fun and a huge stress reliever when one is feeling like crap, right? (Do you use that term? - being ill, having pain, putting up with liver disease and/or a huge umbilical hernia, for example). I do sincerely extend good wishes to you and hope Bob will leave you soon. All the best.

Brett11 profile image
Brett11

Bob is a fictional name I gave my hernia. I then decided to “humanise” Bob so I made him gay.

Randy means someone’s name and it also means a sexual innuendo. Randy feels like sex = Randy is Randy.

I made them break up as Bob built an international airport on my stomach without the proper planning process from me. So I decided that Bob didn’t deserve Randy. Randy however didn’t care as he only had a hernia fetish.

I do really hope this cleared things up 😂

I get my hernia ultrasound in two days time. No results for a week.

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat

You have TOTALLY cleared things up! I am laughing out loud, seriously. How long has Bob been in your life??

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to AmericanDemocrat

I let Bob stay on my sofa for a few days a couple of years ago. Well, he said he was down on his luck so I helped him out. That was the worst thing I ever did. He slowly but surely moved his things in and now I can’t even get to the lounge room. I kept threatening him with the doctor but he just laughed it off. Now my doctor says that it’s my problem not his. Bob is now the size of a soccer ⚽️

It is getting beyond a joke now. Sometimes I wish my hernia would become life threatening so it can be delt with. Even though an operation could kill me.

Never let a friend stay on your lounge!!

😂 😂

in reply to AmericanDemocrat

Yes totally cleared up!😳🙃🤔🤔🤔 the best part about trying to understand British humour is to take it from England place it in Australia and let Brett have his way with it before unleashing it to the public. Then it takes on a meaning all to it's own! 😅

in reply to

But if I'm making sense of it all this and it arouses me at the same time than I become Randy?

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat in reply to

So, Brett is an Aussie???

in reply to AmericanDemocrat

Indeed

Brett11 profile image
Brett11 in reply to

I think I’m in love with you 😂

Don’t tell Grant. It will be 23 years this Easter. That seedy nightclub in Soho has a lot to answer for lol. The night we met I asked him if I could stay at his place as I couldn’t get home. He said that it would be ok but he doesn’t fancy me so nothing will happen. That’s fine by me I said. 23 years later 😂

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat in reply to Brett11

Sweet love story ❤️

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat

Advice noted for future, thanks ... no friends in my lounge! I seriously am sorry about this ... it sounds pretty uncomfortable and irritating. Is the hope that the ultra-sound will show a way to resolve this without compromising the portal vein problem?

Brett11 profile image
Brett11

I think computer says nooo! 😂

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

If anyone can translate this into Brett speak, it would be greatly appreciated.

Brett11 profile image
Brett11

I’ll post a new thread of my latest hernia picture. That story about Grant was true by the way 😝

The way you're going, it won't be 'Brett11 with Bob the umbilical hernia', it'll be 'Bob the umbilical hernia with a Brett11'!!! 😕 Hope they can fix you soon! x

P.S. Americans are called Randy because they brag about everything.....? They've even put the title 'President' on a...er...a..um..er... I don't quite know what?! 🤔😂

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