Liver disease affecting your relationship

[Bobbypops1]

My husband was diagnosed with end stage liver disease 3 years ago. He became desperately ill, and mainly due to encephalopathy and generally feeling like he was dying our relationship really was put to the test. I honestly didn’t think I could get him or us through another day. He was obnoxious unkind and just unbearable to be around. He was transplanted on 26.1.2018. He is now totally recovered, well, happy and the relationship I had feared had been lost has returned. I feel guilty for the dreadful feelings I had whilst he was so ill waiting for a transplant, but he just was not my husband anymore. He was worse than awful to live with. (I knew he could not help it, but god I pity anyone out there going through the same). Any comments or questions welcome.

[freddie76]

Been there, done that.

Dont beat yourself up.

Nobody knows unless they have been there.

Good luck for the future

[Hidden]

Do you know something, your reaction is quit understandable. So please don't go beating yourself up. That person whom you once loved so much is/was effectively a totally different person when suffering with hepatic encephalopathy. But as you'll most likely realise, now, that poor man was being damaged by a whole load of toxic substances in his brain (namely ammonia). You could say that his moods had become chemically driven and his responses and rational thought where none of his own making.

Whatever thoughts you may have been harbouring, these are now are all behind you and in the past. You were most likely hating an chemically induced person, and this person was not the same man as the one you fell in love with and married. But fast forward 11-months, and your husband is back, and has once more returned. You both have been through so much together, and you've been there by his side, every step of the way.

This makes you, and all the other wife's who have battle with the effects of hepatic encephalopathy, very special people. Just remember that old adage, "what doesn't break you makes you stronger". If your marriage, and your love for each other can conquer what you've both been through together, nothing can break your spirits.

Try not to dwell on the past but look to the future. Look at this as being a new liver, a new life, and a new year. Do what your husband's donor would have wanted and get out there and enjoy your renewed life together.

Very best wishes

Richard

[Bobbypops1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. If only I had known of this site to ask questions when we were going through it all. Medical jargon just didn’t give us the answers we needed and no amount of research gave answers. He is out the other side now gained all his weight and loving life! And better still we can love each other again. Thanks

[Hidden in reply to Bobbypops1]

Having gone through all this, you have experience this now for yourselves, sadly there will no doubt be other "Bobbypops" coming up, just like you. Nobody is better placed to advice others than those who have been there and gone through it just like Freddie said, so keep on coming back please and help others, and share your experiences. Many thanks.

Richard

[Isabelle2]

My hubby stood by me when I had HE and was impossible. Now we’re stronger than ever and just as much in love. I’ve done quite a bit of meditation which has helped me as I feel a bit frustrated as I am not 100%. That and my being well, along with what I put him through means we’re just very content to still be together.

Well done you for standing by your hubby. I’m sure he appreciates it!

[Hidden]

Great post bobby. I just read it to my wife! She said “oh you think you’re better now do you?”

He’s a lucky man 😁

Miles

🇧🇧

[Jammymags]

I hadn’t been with my partner long before he was diognosed with PBC and of course our relationship now is unrecognisable to how it was. My late husband died having complications of PSC, autoimmune hep and cancer ( my partner does joke I might be bad luck!)

Your post helps to know that there is light and that the most important thing right now is to help him get through this. Thank you

[Diesel101]

Hi. After reading this I am at some ease that I am not the only one feeling like this. My husband has been diagnosed with end stage liver disease and I have been told life expectancy is 3 months. I too have been 'suffering' with his anger, mood swings etc. We haven't actually been told he has HE and it's something I need to ask the docs when I next see them as he has all the symptoms, its only from reading up on his condition.