Losing the love of my life: Hi I'm Donna... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Losing the love of my life

Paulbryant1963 profile image

Hi I'm Donna I wanted to post on here as I have just lost my husband of 25 years to cirrhosis of the liver. I am devasted I was with him until the end but nothing can prepare you for the biggest heartache. He was my love best friend soul mate and I have to learn to live on my own without him which is killing me. My husband Paul fought for 2 years and list his fight on the 10th May 2018. I just wanted to share this and if anyone is drinking excessively please try and get the help you need to give you a chance as I have lived with this and alcohol is an awful drug that gets hold of you quickly.

45 Replies

Oh sweetheart. I know only too well how awful it is. I went through exactly the same . My husband died 26th may 2010 to cirrhosis and all the other horrible diseases alcohol causes. I'll message you privately later on if that's OK with you.

I am doing the same as you trying to deter everyone from drinking this damn poison. It's killing too many people and wrecking so many families.

Big hug darling. Talk later xx

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Thanks Laura it's nice to talk to someone who knows. I'm crying all the time I miss him terribly and my life feels so empty thank you for your kind words they mean a lot.

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Hi Laura how r u sorry haven't bn in touch bn in really bad place missing my hubby terribly xxxx

in reply to Paulbryant1963

Hi Donna. Please ... no need to appologise. Been thinking about you. I wish I could say you'll be over it soon and ' times a great healer' but that's rediculous. There's no time limit to ' getting over it' and don't let anyone tell you any different. You literally have to live through it and live with the grief. All I can say is given time you do accept the loss but never truly get over it but you do eventually almost put it in a room which you visit from time to time have a bloody good cry, walk back out close the door on it and carry on. I can't tell you when that will be, I can't even tell you when it happened to me but somehow it does. I don't even know if this is making any sense.... so difficult to explain feelings and emotions.

Don't be affraid to seek professional help and visit your GP regularly too if you feel the need. I'm no expert, all I can do is say how it was for me. I maybe came through it in what appeared to be in a strong tough manner because I had to support my children through their grief.

We went through photo albums together, holiday memories and all the good things i wanted my children to remember about him. I didn't want them to grow up feeling bitter about his drinking, how it affected our lives and thankfully that has worked.

I'm here whenever, if ever you need to talk.

Look after yourself

Big hugs

Laura xx

Donna, I am so sorry my love. I was able to have a transplant having given up the booze. When I think I nearly put my hubby and kids through the hell you are living. Be brave, be strong and try to live your life to the full for him. Massive hugs

Isabelle xx

Thanks isabelle I'm so pleased for you if you do one thing for me tell your hubby and children you love them everyday and I wish you a happy life together. God bless you x

I thank the French health service, the donor’s family and my oh and girls daily for the life I have now

My thoughts and best wishes go out to you Donna. I lost my Husband on the 8th May and he too was my best friend. The loss is unbearable I know. Message me if you want to talk, anytime is fine.

Millie09 profile image
Millie09 in reply to

Sorry to hear that, sending you strength at this difficult time xx

in reply to

This is just awful. I've only been on this forum since March and in that time 3 women have lost their husbands. Tragic! I feel overwhelmed with sadness for you all.

Sending my love to you and strength to get through all that lies ahead

Laura xxx

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Thank you so much xxx

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Hope Yr OK sorry not bn in touch bn in a bad place atm xx

in reply to Paulbryant1963

See above Donna.... my reply is there xx

Im so very very sorry. I myself have alcohol related cirrhosis, ten years, this year i am suffering with the disease more than i would like

Sending you and your family strength and love at this difficult time .. Linda xx

Oh Donna I am sorry for the loss of your husband.x And thank you for sharing, it may help someone struggling to stay sober.x God bless you and your family.xx

Oh Donna my heart goes out to you at this most terrible of times. I hope you'll find strength in Laura009 as sadly you've both been through similar situations with your partners. I must commend you on your loyalty and devotion, these must have been very trying and emotional times and I guess you might have even felt so helpless at times.

Once you've had time to grieve, Would you like to share your story, as I feel you could be a wonderful inspiration to so many. Once again Laura will I know, be there to offer any support and advice that she can.

Best Regards


Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

I would dearly love too as I would like to help others in his memory.

in reply to

Thankyou Richard. That's very kind xx

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Hi Richard haven't bn in touch lately bn in a really bad place as it has just hot me and not coping too well. I feel life is not fair and I'm missing him terriblyxx

Donna and Power68 I am so very sorry for your loss. It is tragic what alcohol can do. It is still very early days for both of you and I hope you can get comfort from the support of this forum. Take care xx

You have our thoughts in your time of grief.

Jim and Lucy

So sorry for ur lost

I'm lost for word ,I'm so sorry,

You are a truly wonderful women and from the bottom of my heart I thank you for in your hours of need you put the post up . Bless you x

Oh Donna, I'm so so sorry for your very sad loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please know you can message me privately if you so wish. I'm always here for you. With all my love Lynne. Xxxx.

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Hi Lynn sorry not bn in touch bn in bad place just hit me and not coping I miss him terribly xxx

in reply to Paulbryant1963

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

My wife is a victim of the bottle to. And joined the ancestors on 5 April and a huge part of me went with her

I'm so sorry and I know xxx I'm here if you need to talk we can all help and support each other xxx

Hi sorry not bn in touch bn in a bad place atm missing my hubby terribly x

IT has to the hardest thing to live with out your life partner it still is for me

If you want to call me tomorrow afternoon for a chat text me and I'll give you my number

So very sorry to hear your sad news. xx

I’m not a drinker but have AIH so have similar symptoms to that of a drinker with liver disease. People sometimes ask me if I feel annoyed with drinkers but of course I don’t. Just like the girl said to me in the hospital waiting room ‘I drank too much after my mum died’. Of course ‘too much’ also depends on how strong your liver is in the first place - some people can drink like a fish and get away with it. So sorry for your loss, and he must have been a lovely man for you to miss him so much x

So sorry....take care.

Hi Donna

This is my first post but I would just like to send you the biggest hug your way. So sorry for your loss. As a family we lost our brother on 20th May 2018 to this horrible horrible illness. I can concur with your sentiments of how distressing it was to see him leave us all. We have a difficult road ahead of us but with caring friends and family, hopefully one day in the future it will get better.

Take care

Agnes x

I'm so sorry to hear this and my thoughts are also with you x

Hi Agnes so sorry I haven't bn on here lately but bn in a bad place atm missing hubby terribly. I hope Yr OK and if u need to talk I'm here please don't feel alone xx

Hi Donna

Each day passes and merges into another week without seeing a loved one. I'm so sad that I will never see my brother again, in time I will be able to cope a bit better and remember the good times of this I'm sure. Life can be so cruel Donna nothing will ever take the pain away. One day in the future like I, you will find a way to cope with your loss. Keep in touch and take good care of yourself 💙

Dear Donna,

We all send you are very sincere condolences at this incredibly difficult time.

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

Thank you just missing him terribly atm bn in bad place struggling without him xx

no, nothing can prepare you for the heart ache. I know. I'm so sorry. it will get fractionally the tiniest bit better with every passing day with time even though it doesnt feel possible

in reply to liveronmymind

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending all my love to you all Lynne xxxx

So sorry what you are going through ! Not ready myself to post anything I am going through with my husband. How are you holding up ?

I'm getting there but missing him everyday love him so much hope u r OK xx

Hi Donna, I share your pain and grief, Iam going through the same xx

Paulbryant1963 profile image
Paulbryant1963 in reply to

I'm so sorry to hear this and here if you need to talk

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