Incurable cancer : Hi , I'm new to this... - Breast Cancer Haven

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Incurable cancer

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Hi , I'm new to this but not new to cancer been fighting cancer the last 7 years , I've incurable breast cancer, was wondering is there anybody else out there like me , I had chemotherapy the last 7 years you name it I've had it just wondering how long my body got left in it ..anybody going through the same thing...thanks , look after yourself ladies xx

24 Replies

Hello carol. You haven’t had any replies yet and I wonder if it’s because you’re a wonderful survivor. A friend of mine who’s a trustee of a local cancer care charity tells me that there are so many BC survivors around, but who are having their second (or more) bout.

I am so fortunate that I’ve lasted six years since diagnosis

I wish you well.

It's ok ......thanks

Sorry to hear your diagnosis, but everybody is different, live your life doing all things that make you happy, however big or small. Good luck with your ongoing treatment.x

I'm trying but because of the chemotherapy over the years my bones are so sore and I'm so tired that I seem to spend all my time sleeping .. is there any thing out that will help me get some energy because I have young kids thanks

I am so sorry to hear this can't help with what to take to give you energy, could you ask your specialist or doctor if they have anything they can recommend? x

Thanks....there not much they can do or says only take break from chemotherapy which I cant afford to do that with my heath, last time I dont that my lumps had grown bigger ....I feel I'm just waiting about for my body to gave in to it all ...legs and joints can only take so much ....

Maybe just needed to hear from someone who been thought the same thing I'm going through who's having bit of success with it all ...xx

Jhnard profile image
Jhnard in reply to Happyrosie

Have you tried medical cannabis,CBD oil’s etc I have heard from friends it has helped. I am in thr research stage, so I personally have mot tried it.

Yea....but it's very expensive, my husband earn to much and works 24/ 7 and I only get sick money ...£400. 00 per month , it was couple of years ago when I last tired it so maybe save up try it again ...thanks

Hi Carol, I am sad to hear that you are so exhausted with all the treatment. One lot of chemo is terrible enough, I can only imagine how tough it is to cope with course after course. I hope you have some small things that bring you joy, perhaps a painting, growing some sunflowers or some special chocolate. My heart goes out to you. I wish you as many good things come your way as possible. Hugs xxx

Hi at the start it was my kids that kept me going because they where so young only 7, twins and son but there 15 now 19 they dont need there mum now , always love walking but my kids are not up for that and my legs wont let me without stopping all the time ..I see what you mean I needed to do things for me now and think of myself for a change , thankyou for taking the time out to help with my problem I dont like to ask for help but I think I've got to because I'm giving up here and I've got to stop feeling that I'm done with all this treatment and to keep fighting...thanks again xo

I’ve had lyphodema for 27 years which restricted my mobility and then last year got breast cancer and was going through treatment at the same time as my husband for stomach cancer, it was a tough time but we came out of it determined to enjoy life. I can’t imagine what you are going through dealing with chemo for that long, keep fighting and do things that make you happy when you can, don’t think you are alone, there are always groups that can help, talk to your team ask what is available xx♥️

Hi Carol, its a credit to you that your children 'don't need you now' as you say. You have obviously done a great job of enabling them to be independent and to grow up as 'normal' kids even with the terrible trauma that you are experiencing.

It might be worth trying Macmillan if you havent already, they have a telephone buddy scheme which offers someone to talk to once a week or so. It can be helpful to chat to someone who isn't part of your family and circle - you can say things to them that you wouldn't feel right saying to close family, you can let off a bit of steam.

I think its good to have some 'me ' time and priortise 'you' for a change. Commandeer the bathroom occasionally and have a long soak or shower with nice smelling things, maybe a candle or two and even a glass of wine or a few chocolates. Indulge yourself a little.

Hugs Caroline xx

Thanks for your help , my kids had to grow up bit quicker but thats not bad thing I know now that they can survive without me now ...I'm so proud of them . I wishes you all the best and thanks again xox

Hi have you been diagnosed as stage 4? I had that diagnosis over 2 years ago. There are many of us living with advanced breast cancer, but it can get quite lonely. Are you a member of any support groups - the Haven centres have some excellent ones. There is also another site called share, which is a good site for those of us dealing with an advanced diagnosis.

I'm sorry to hear this. So far I'm lucky and it's "gone". Best wishes.

Hi there! I am into my 8th year of diagnosis for Ad. Breast cancer and I choose to believe that this disease does not have the final word. Sadly, my diagnosis came too late to do anything other than 'maintain' stability and I restarted chemo in Jan. 2019 following a fresh metastases and have been on 'end of life' care for 2 years. I am pleased to say that things remain stable. Bone pain is something that has become almost like hot flushes and is controlled through various supplements that I take and medication and of course nausea is another common ailment. Every day we have the gift of the present and I find my battles are more in my mind than in my body. Decisions have to be made throughout the day whether to allow fear, worry, sickness, side effects etc. to rob me of the joy of each day. It is a battle and it isn't easy but I've found that if I let my feelings take control I begin to spiral downwards mentally and that affects every other decision I make that day, so stay positive; there is so much to be thankful for each day. Stay determined and try to find things to occupy your mind that take you away from dwelling on cancer. Sending love and a lot of understanding.

Dear Carol .reading your posts this morning ; you are going through a dispiriting time for sure . You must be exhausted mentally and physically . I think our bodies and minds scream out at us sometimes to remind us to give ourselves TLC which most mothers are reluctant to do / our self image of caring for family prevents it. Things such as massage ( feet if your choice) , aromatherapy oils, long uninterrupted bath, a new set of bra and knickers ( bright colour), read an uplifting book , doing crafts of your choice , getting hairdo, writing postcards to old friends, growing seeds on the windowsill, listening to any feel good music .

It won’t cure everything but can take the edge off the depression and negative outlook which can be overwhelming .

It might be worth asking your consultant about medication to give your mood a lift??

When our children don’t “ need” us we’ve done something right I like to think . I have 4 grown ups with small children of their own who are my wonderful friends , but they need my love and support in various careers , parenting etc which is I guess a different sort of need .

Wishing you a much better weekend and some plans for spoiling yourself very soon!

Love from Denise x

Thank you Denise you sound like amazing lady and with very good advise which I will be taking up on ..I wouldn't says anything like this to my family because they think I'm the strong one and I'm going to be here forever , they wont let me talk about the end of life.. I wishes you and your amazing family wonderful life and I hope all your wishes come through...sending you all my wishes and prayers your way xoxo

Dear Carol, a weekend wish to say hello and hope you are getting some relief from the physical and mental stress you have been going through. There are times when energy levels along with optimism just seem to disintegrate , which I know we all suffer from especially during and after treatments.

I had a thought to share with you ; ( forgive me if it’s a crazy one) as you have two teenagers who love you very much , could you get some lavender oil and ask one of them to massage your feet for about 20/30 mins? I have had it done for me and it helps relieve stress anxiety etc , what do you think ? You could relax in a comfortable chair with a cuppa, ( and e g a piece of cake and put your feet up !).

Sending thoughts and a big hug to you today,

Love from Denise

Thanks Denizt.....hope to gave it a go and see how we get on , the girls probably do more ticking than rubbing my feet lol . Gave it a go , thanks xx

Dear carol little

How are you ? I hope the days are better for you than a few weeks ago and you are resting as much as you need . How is your self care programme going ?? Are you feeling any better?

I’m currently in Auckland in quarantine here with 4 more days in this very strict setup , then the shackles will be off. I’m going to have a few months here ( my homeland) where my two sons are with young children, but my 2 daughters are in the UK and of course I miss them loads . It’s the opposite when I’m in my flat in Bournemouth !

Tiredness seems now to be part of the pattern of daily life . In quarantine isolated in one room I keep relatively sane with knitting , reading , writing a presentation for a nurses conference next year and looking at Facebook and Netflix ! Old friends keep in touch by phone and drop things off here but there’s no contact. Just to say I was thinking of you and hope you are feeling ok and have some nice things on the agenda !!

Love from Denise

Hello i am 7 years with incurable breast cancer. I find i just have to take each day as it comes. I am a granny and I get very tired but I try to keep going. Good luckx

Hi....warrior....just like me , same here get really tired day at a time . Keep fighting xx

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