Morning !!! Its nearly that time again ...I wish I didn't panic so much ...feeling stupid .

[jackearls1000]

Morning everyone ...I hope all is well in your world ...well I'm due chemo number 4 on Friday ...I didn't need to go for my oncology appointment yesterday ....they phoned me ...I find it all a bit of a waste of time ..driving 2 hours to hospital ...waiting 3 hours to be seen ...just to say I am ok ...my biggest problem is, I get big anxiety going for chemo before the day ...I don't sleep ...I can hardly concentrate ..I do feel stupid ..I know whats going to happen ...I always leave ok ..and I only have two left after this Friday ....anyone else feel like this? and what do you do to relax ??? much love to you all xxx

[Lainey66]

It is only natural that you will feel apprehensive. Each chemo is another round of poison into your system, however it’s one that kills the cancer. We don’t know how our bodies are going to react after each one. I know the appointment the day before is a drag, but I really don’t think you should miss it. Like you, I too had to take these same trips. Depending on the traffic my journey could take anything from 1hr20 min to over 2 hours. Like you, I would have to wait to be seen. These appointments though are quite important. I would be weighed, have bloods taken and a general check over that I and my body were in good shape to face the next chemo. This appointment also contributes to how your chemo is made up as body weight can effect the ‘mixture’ of chemo, how much you are getting. If you say, lost a few lbs between chemo, the next one has to be prepared for that weight change, bloods have to be checked that you have generated enough white cells for your body to have the ability to fight infection as chemo kills off white cells. If you have not built up the white cells between chemos, your chemo might have to be delayed for a week or so in order for you to be ‘healthy’ enough to cope with it. It is done the day before so that all your info and chemo can be ready for you on the day. This lowers the delay time in administering chemo, albeit there will be delays due to unforeseen circumstances such as emergencies if others have a bad reaction etc. Leaving this for the day of chemo will delay both yours and the administration of the chemo for others. Yes it is annoying but what seems like a simple ‘you’re ok see you tomorrow’ really does play more of a role in our care than you think. I don’t mean to lecture but not attending can have a knock on effect to others getting their chemo too, while nurses are having to do for you what they could have already done the day before delays everything for everyone. As far as relaxing goes, I cannot recommend meditation enough. In the past I would have deemed this to be for people a tad ‘flakey’. Boy have I had to eat my words there. I sleep so much better, I am able to handle stress and worries, I am totally enjoying life so much more despite cancer and all it and the chemo has thrown at me. I paint, (no Rembrandt, Van Gough or Michaelangelo now) but pure relaxation, I read, I walk, I swim, and I enjoy it. Find what you like to do and lose yourself in it. I even took up the Rubik cubes to distract my mind. Whatever you choose - enjoy it. I looked for the positive in everything, cup half full and all that. Take care, I will stop rambling on now. But will leave you with this... please go to that day before appointment. It could be quite important. Sending lots of love and positivity. Lainey66 xxxxx

[jackearls1000 in reply to Lainey66]

Morning Lainey ...nice to hear from you ...how are you doing ? ...

yes I go to get weighed and bloods done on a Thursday morning at my doctors, which is just down the end of my road ...so that's all done the day before, ready for Friday morning ...the appointment on Monday is just to ask questions which is easily done on the phone ...my breast cancer nurse called yesterday and was satisfied .. it just seemed a pointless exercise to me ....I seem to cook a lot these days ...tomorrow I'm off to town for the day ...Thursday morning ( early) I get bloods ect done ..then go Slimming world ...have lunch with the ladies and then go home ...keeping busy is the key ..I try to meditate but I'm hopeless ...I cant focus ..any how after this one I have 2 left ...it must get easier xxx

[Lainey66 in reply to jackearls1000]

In a way it gets mentally easier as you are on a count down as opposed to a count up. Physically, the more chemo you are having the yukier you tend to feel. It is a mountain to climb but you are descending it now. I have the GP at 12:10 today. I have found a significant sized lump in my left forearm. I am hoping that it could be a collection of lymphatic fluid rather than anything more sinister. Oh well, what ever it turns out to be, It will be a case of crossing that bridge if it arrives. Are you down for radiotherapy after your chemo? Well Jackearls1000, I had better get showered and dressed now. I have had a bit of a lazy morning today. Lol. Take care and good luck with your chemo this week. Only two more after this one, it will be over before you know it. Xxxxx

[jackearls1000]

I hope your appointment goes ok Lainey ....it seems we worry about everything these days ...I am thinking of you ...let us know how your doing ....yes I have radiotherapy after ...3 x weeks ..one a day ...ill think about that when I get to it ...this journey for me has been little bridges ...thoughts with you my lovely ...keep in touch Jane xx