A couple of months ago I finished a rollercoaster year of treatment - full mastectomy, chemo, lymph node removal, radiotherapy - and I've just started tamoxifen (10 years).
It sounds mad but after the celebrations of finishing it all when I was on a real high, and just when I thought I'd be picking up my life again and appreciating being alive in every moment, I feel in this weird limbo and incredibly low.
I can't seem to shake it off. I'm crying every day. And I feel in a worse emotional state than I did throughout all the treatment.
I don't know how much is to do with processing the trauma of the last year now, or the side effects of tamoxifen, or the fact that chemo brought on the menopause.
But I feel like a horrible, cranky, negative person. And I feel very alone.
So if there's anyone out there who has been through this and can tell me it passes, I would love that.