Struggling

[reubenbracken]

Hi I'm struggling. I know there's nothing anybody can do but I can't stop stressing.

[Gracie66]

The wait is the worst. it really is. even if you don't get the news you wanted at least knowing what you have to deal with is something. I think listen to what the others were saying. the tests you are being sent for are more to with the family history to see have you the bracca gene. you're already well into your fight with your chemo started and this is all good. if there was a question about your diagnosis your treatment would not have started yet In my opinion. try to keep busy. I know that's really easy for me to say but it was the sitting about stewing that really got me down. Keep talking at any rate. we are all here with you. xxx gracie

[reubenbracken in reply to Gracie66]

Thanks ever so much I am trying to stop thinking about things it's not just the tests it's whether the chemo is working. As you have probably guessed by now I'm not the most positive person ever.x

[Gracie66 in reply to reubenbracken]

who would be when faced with something they never expected would happen to them. this was me last year, and believe me i went through all of this, though maybe i only said it in here, and not so much out loud. I live in Ireland and the Irish cancer society were great, i got some counselling and it helped put things in perspective for me. If you are in the Uk, i do know that the various places you can go for counselling and help are fantastic. do use them.

One thing i did realise is that the doctors and oncologists deal with this literally multiple times a day. they know more than we do what is going on with us, possibly it seems at times like they are being dismissive or not attentive enough, but they are just familiar with every type of breast cancer and they know how to kick it to touch. the treatment that they have given you will be specific to the tests and biopsies they did so you can be assured that they are on this and they know what is needed.

try not to google too much or dwell on things that you dont know much about. save those questions for when you are with the oncologist next week.write down the questions when you think of them becuase i guarantee you wont be able to think of any of them when you get into the office!

and for now, if you're feeling up to it treat yourself, even to have a bubble bath and a glass of something nice, or buy yourself something nice.. go for lunch with a friend.. try not to sit stewing if possible. you need to keep yourself healthy and strong so that you can kick this to touch all the sooner.

xxx G

[reubenbracken in reply to Gracie66]

Thank you. x

[GinaD19 in reply to Gracie66]

To reiterate what Gracie has said, I took a list of questions along to the meeting with my consultant and also throughout chemo, when I saw my oncologist every three weeks, I took along other lists of questions. They were always happy to put my mind at rest. Keep a sheet of paper beside you and note every question you think of and show them your list. They are there to help you. Xx

[reubenbracken in reply to GinaD19]

Thankyou

[Jacbowden in reply to Gracie66]

Such good advice. Trying to stay normal, doing things with understanding girl friends, laughing ( yes laughing). Only knowing as much as you need, not more to get by. Walk by the coast or countryside, absorb nature. I'll be thinking of you. ❤️️❤️😘

[reubenbracken in reply to Jacbowden]

Thankyou

[Hidden in reply to reubenbracken]

I can only reiterate what Gracie66 has said. Write all your questions down, the Oncologist's are very used to seeing us armed with a notebook & pen. My husband always came with me after my initial appointment which I went to on my own, at my own choosing.

Is someone going with you on Thursday? As Gracie says don't over google until you have all the facts & after you've seen the Oncologist, there is usually an opportunity to see a Specialist Nurse.

Take Care 💐

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

Thanjyou

[Hidden]

We've all been there,and we all know how you are feeling,but it will get better,as has been said before it's the not knowing that's worst,its easier once you know what you've got to deal with.

Try to keep yourself busy, I did daft things like batch cooked and put it all in individual portions in the freezer,so after the operation I could eat what I fancied,when I was to tired to cook (I even did portions of fresh broccoli)which my husband hates,but they were for me. I found I needed spicer food as things didn't taste the same,but still enjoyed a homemade lasagne

I brought wool and crochet a blanket,it served 2 purposes kept me busy and warm as it got bigger.

I hope you start feeling a bit better,and good luck.xx

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou

[Jacbowden in reply to Hidden]

Brilliant advice there. Especially re food. ❤️

[mags4]

Hi Ruben,

We have all been there its not easy ,everyone has there own way of dealing with things,we have all been through the wait and i have yo say its has to be the worst part!!!I bought books and read them like the Emma hannigan one try to keep your mind busy as its working overtime at the min.Wishing you all the best keep strong xxand hugsx

[reubenbracken in reply to mags4]

thank you

[Vic1970]

Hi,this may help put your mind at rest,I had a quite large lump,4cm and was clearly visible to me,triple negative breast cancer.I was to have 8 lots of chemotherapy,fec-t(is this what you are having) and by the 3rd round the lump was gone!still had to finish the 8chemo but after the operation I am cancer free,so don't worry,the chemotherapy does the job and my doctor said triple negative responds really well to it.I know it's easy to say don't worry because I was the same but talk to your nurses they will help.Stay positive.luv Vicky.x

[reubenbracken in reply to Vic1970]

thanks vicky, did you have a genetics test aswell?

[Vic1970 in reply to reubenbracken]

no,but I am due to see my oncologist next week about rest of my treatment and I will ask,don't know why nobody has suggested it to me.I trust their decision though they are very thorough,maybe because I don't have children?but I have a sister but no history of cancer in our family but a lady at hospital suggested I should get tested,like she said it starts somewhere.They are probably being extra thorough with you because of your children.Keep calm and well-look after yourself.xx

[reubenbracken in reply to Vic1970]

My mum had bowel cancer but never had any treatment afterwards as i think it was more of a polyp that they removed and then my grandad had throat cancer but he smoked there has never been anybody with breast cancer in the family so I'm hoping its not genetic.x

[Vic1970 in reply to reubenbracken]

Sounds like they're just being extra vigilant which is a good thing right?xx

[reubenbracken in reply to Vic1970]

Lets hope so . thanks.XX

[Artemis-angel]

As people have said above it is difficult not to stress, as people say avoid googling symptoms and stories etc, I've done this and it doesn't help. These types of forum help because you can see that many of us feel the same way. I am lucky in that I have a couple of friends who have also had breast cancer and they are the best people to speak to as they understand the worries and stresse that come with a cancer diagnosis. I wish all the best with your treatment,.

[reubenbracken in reply to Artemis-angel]

Thankyou

[Blueskye]

My Polish builders mother had triple negative Stage 4 - everywhere - and they thought she wouldn't last long. 3 years on the cancer has almost gone and she is living a full and healthy life. She did nothing special but the drugs she was given worked. So have faith.

[reubenbracken in reply to Blueskye]

Thank you. x

[Jacbowden in reply to Blueskye]

This is very, very encouraging for me too. Thanks. ❤️😘

[Patrenee]

Reuben don't be too hard on yourself. Your mind is so powerful. I found listening to music helped me relax. Also all the drugs they put you on to help with the chemo side effects mess you up. I remember thinking "who is this person?" I was an emotional wreck! By the time I finished my treatments I was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I finished all my treatments 8 weeks ago and still find some days I'm emotional. It does get better but it's a slow process.

[reubenbracken in reply to Patrenee]

Thank you. x