Uncle John

6' odd A gentle giant, more patience than the day is long, to say he was gentleman would be an understatement always polite, especially with the ladies',which infuriated Aunty Nora no end, I'm sure he did it just to get her goat. They fought like cat and dog, that's not right, Nora did the fighting, John would just sit there not saying a word which of course made things ten times worse. When Nora eventually ran out of steam, John would stand up carefully fold his paper and put in the rack take tuppence of the mantle piece, give Nora a kiss on the forehead and disappeared out the front door. He was going for his nightly constitutional as he called it. His nick name was blacky on account of his job. He worked story's of Lancaster, the a major linoleum manufacturer, john worked in the rubber department, been there since he started, so over the year the rubber had permeated his skin so far he couldn't get it out,

hence the nick name. Any way Sunday was religiously the same. Every body was up scrubbed and I mean scrubbed, brush and carbolic, in a tin bath in front of an old fashioned range. Youngest first, Susan the Jennifer next Nora then John and me somewhere in the middle if I was there,breakfast by nine and of to church. After church John would go to the boundary inn as usual, then go home for one for Sunday dinner. One Sunday while i was staying over John wasn't home by one so by half past Nora sent me to get him, but he still didn,t land an hour after i,d told him, by now Nora was pulling her hair out, she grabbed his dinner and marched and the plate down the pub, sure enough Johns sat the in a merry old state, she through the dinner at him, but he passed just at that moment, his mate got the dinner and the landlord got the plate i got a back hander for laughing. She must have cleared the pub in seconds cos it was empty when i stopped seeing stars the place was empty. She hadn't finished with me though, she promptly marched me home and gave one hell of a lecture on how not to become like that bloody man when i grew up. Eventually John rolled in a bit more than worse for and as if nothing was wrong, sat down picked up the paper and asked Nora" any chance of a butty live i,m famished" at that i bolted. What happened next I'll leave to your imagination, cos i didn't stick around to find out. So there you have it my Uncle John as quiet as the day is long........ ;)

11 Replies

  • azaard

    If John was in any way related to you he would have been home at least ten minutes before his dinner was due. lol Bob

  • You never tasted. Nora's cooking, chips black on the outside raw in the middle, gravy you could hang wall paper with

  • sounds like my cooking azaard lol

  • Lovely story I enjoyed reading it. I have to ask was it true? Better add Please don't take offence at the question.

  • None taken, yes its true,

  • You were lucky to have such a lovely uncle and aunt.

  • He sounds quite a character. As too does Aunty Nora. I'm sure you'll have a ton more of these stories. I enjoyed meeting these two. x x

  • Oh there's afew and all true how are you ;)

  • Have you seen the vid yet :)

  • I have now!

  • So have i:)

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