I haven't spoken to an human today!!

I suppose by now you would think that I was used to being on my own after all it has nearly 8 years since my husband died. BUT days like today really get to me I rang my daughter twice today and both times got her answer phone, I rang a couple of friends - just the same - where the heck has everyone disappeared to today!!

I have communicated on FB and left postings on here but it is not the same.

I never thought I would be so bloody lonely as I get on days like this but heyho I have an Amazon delivery tomorrow and my milkman will be here for his money so as they say tomorrow is another day and maybe an human will answer a phone :D

28 Replies

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  • Hello Jandan I'm sorry your feeling lonely I don't think it matters how long you have had to get used to being alone. my mum tells me off when she can't talk to me If it helps I am reading your post and thinking of you, I'm sure you will speak soon to your daughter. We have had a lot of snow here today how about where you live?

  • I have no idea what it is like to live alone. I brought up my granchildren and they are all grown up now but I still have my lovely husband. He is going to be working away next week and I feel bereft already. I am scared of the dark so when alone I sit up all night and go to bed at dawn. I feel a complete wimp about this yet I have been through some rough times that I have survived. I have only lived in Wales for a few years so not that many friends here yet. My youngest grandson lives in a nearby town with his girlfriend and they are brill but I still am not used to being alone a lot of the time.

    maxer xxxx

  • Hi Jandan, sorry to hear you're feeling lonely today. I go and lean on my front gate and watch the people passing by if I'm feeling lonely. It probably does more harm than good as I live on a main road but never mind!

  • I know how you feel Jan, my son presently lives with me but I barely see him, he's usually in, showered and off again. I did actually speak for more than 2 seconds to a woman at United Utilities today, hurray!! Other than that, I talk to the cat or to myself, at least we don't argue with each other. My problem is that I'm more or less housebound so I don't even get out very often either. Still, could be worse! I read the newspapers (online), read on Kindle (just got F.Scott Fitzgerald's complete works for £1.49 from Amazon!), you can get hundreds of Kindle books for less than a £1. You can download Kindle to your pc if you don't have the tablet one or any other tablet. I've done an online jigsaw from the site that Woodshaper blogged earlier today. Somehow the hours crawl by but yes, I do get pretty lonely at times. At least we've had some sunshine streaming in the past few days! Am going to get a chair for outside at the front when it gets warmer, I can read and maybe even see a neighbour or two. Problem is, I'm in the corner of a cul de sac, so no "passing trade"! Yes, tomorrow's another day! Libby

  • When I'm working its all day talking, which I can get fed up about. Then other times I can go all day without a conversation and I don't like that much either. I'm never happy lol.

    Lynne xx

  • Thank you. Psorias I would never tell my daughter off because she hadn't rung me if I did that she would tell me off :D It is half term this week so she has been doing stuff with Tom so I suppose I should forgive her. The weather has been lovely today sunny but cold I think here is Stockport we have been so lucky this year hardly any snow at all.

    Maxer I don't mind being on my own but sometimes the emptiness is so empty. Don't be afraid of the dark there is nothing in it to hurt you I know that is easy to say, try a night light that is what I use it helps me feel less lonely . I only moved to Stockport after my husband died so I haven't many friends here back in Coventry I had lots another reason for feeling lonely :(

    Janet

  • My mum tells me off only because she worries about me , I always having to reassure her that I'm still breathing. She lost my dad to emphysema in 1996 and my brother committed suicide in 2006. She is 77 and lonely, as well as scared for me. I know what you mean about the emptiness but you know I feel like that a lot even in a house full of people. My brother was so much to me.

  • Oh I used to live in Manchester! I know Stockport well. I have a good friend living in Daventry. When I next visit I can look you up if you would like. I would love to meet you if you would like to meet me.

    Bevx

  • hi I am new here but I truly understand how you feel, for I am going threw the same and was just thinking the same when I saw your post on fb blf page . my husband past away this janury the 22 and I have not spoke to anyone for two days expect the dog.

    I don't have many people I know at all here, nor no children. so just wanted to say hello

  • hello I am quite new here too, It is so hard when you feel lonely, especially when everything in life is changing. It is just a short while for you since your husband and I am sorry for your loss grief is so hard isn't it. I am so lucky to have a big family at home with me. Although I sit alone in my room mostly, my kids are men and do there own thing but I lucky to have a little grandson that I am bring up. I have a dog too a Staffie What type of dog do you have?

  • It must be very hard for you johnswife - well from now on you can chat with us in cyberspace! All the best, Libby x

  • I have nearly always lived on my own but have always worked until the last few years. I am lucky because I can get out and I do have a good social life. I live in a small local area and if I haven't spoken to anyone for a day I pop to the shops. There is always someone I know including the shopkeepers and I have a gas with them. Its horrible being on your own too much - I know.

    Bev x

  • she is a collie cross. named bess

  • my dog is named Ronnie after my dad. but i too had a collie a rough collie like lassie , when I was a teenager and she was called mon cherie - french for my darling

  • Would it be possible for anyone who is alone to exchange phone numbers with one another by privately messaging. I am lucky I still have my hubby and carers in and out looking after my daughter so no shortage of company but I can feel for your lonliness.

  • I am sorry to hear about your loneliness,I joined here to get support and advice for my dad who has pulmonary fibrosis, I live 1hour and 40 mins from my parents. But what I would like to say is we were told there is a group called "the good neighbour" who will come out and visit people, my parents are in Sheffield but I am sure there must be similar in your areas. I moved to this area 16 months ago and volunteer at a local charity shop as a way to meet people, I know many of you can't get out, but there are people out there who are happy to visit you! :-)

    I also have 2 dogs and people always stop for a chat!

  • Thank you everyone I was having a particularly low day yesterday and just needed to talk to someone and there was no one around but as someone else has said you can feel lonely when surrounded with people. My daughter only lives 5 minutes away but as she works she does not have a lot of time to spare although next week when Tom goes back to school and her term doesn't start until the following week she is taking me to the hairdressers and the opticians exciting life I lead. :D

    I think what gets to me is before this illness hit me in the face with a wet fish I was coping with being on my own and I had started to rebuild my life and I was never at home let alone on my own - then WHAM!!! Now I am virtually housebound - I suffer from panic attacks so I do not leave the house on my own - and I get bloody lonely.

    Bev I welcome visitors anytime just let me know when you are in the area and I will put the kettle on. My two tarts love visitors too :P The same goes to anyone else too who finds themselves in the Stockport area

    Thank again

    Janet <3

  • NO WORRIES JUST KIDNAPP THE MILKMAN........................... :)

  • What. Lovely support you recieved jandan,that would have lifted your spirits!!

    Whenever I'm on my own,I always keep the radio on,listen to the music,or listen to the callers feedback,which can make you smile at times.But it's just like people in the house,giving there opinions,on what's happening locally,or overseas.

    That is nice,you have a daughter near,& one that will take you out.i do understand it is difficult leaving the life behind,that you enjoyed,but hey,you are still here,to make something of it,& you have your 2 buddies! At least they can't argue with you!!'

    Love Wendells xxx

  • Come on jandan ,cheer yourself up with some laughter.Read my blogs please.

    Richard

    The KOTC laughter show

    Your daily tonic.

  • You don't have to be alone to be lonely i,m married (but have no carer) my children are all grown & remember to call when they need a sitter, i do have a daughter who rings often but I often wish she wouldn't as we disagree on everything & i,m glad when she hangs up! :( when the lord & master is home i,m told off if i speak when he,s watching a program or told to wait till the adverts :( KOTC keeps me sane with his daily titters :) & you're right being on here isn't like speaking to a real person but it has saved my sanity & the friendship is non judgemental, understanding, knowledgeable, compassionate & down right funny :) & i,m so glad it exists, exblonds idea of exchanging numbers is a good one & you are welcome to mine, chin up janden xx karen

  • I would be very lonely without my husband, so I feel for you jandan. He has gone into work today and I'm missing him. You are lucky to have your daughter near by, my one daughter lives in Cheshire the other Manchester so I don't see them very often. They were all here for Easter weekend and grandchildren, the house is so quiet without them and I miss them, we all get on so well. I don't have any neighbours so it's very quiet and sometimes I feel as if I'm the only person on the planet, but then at 5 pm Dennis will be home, hopefully with fish & chips, and I know then that I am very lucky. I feel this site helps, it is contact with other people.

    Take care Lib x

  • Hi Jandan...yes, I can relate well to your blog on living alone as I'm also in a similar position, especially as I have no family either. For the most part there are ways of passing the time,

    ie any interests, light housework, radio/tv for company and maybe a short, steady walk if possible. Think though that another human voice, even for a short time , is hard to beat.

    That is why I feel that exblond's idea of exchanging phone numbers via PM is a good one and like karen I'd be happy give my number out and chat with you Jandan if you'd like that. Perhaps we could start up a phone friendship group for those who'd like this : -) Suggestions anyone? Lovelight x

  • Hi Jandan, I too can certainly relate to your feelings. We have penpals and bloggs. Maybe we could come up with a phonepal group. I'm a member of a group of like people who I see most weeks but find people shy away from giving out phone numbers when they live alone or are older, for security purpose.It is about human contact, especially during the long winter months and when you are ill and can't get out ect.It is one part of independence that's not so nice and even being part of the widows/widowers network I personally Have not discovered a solution yet, only blogging and imagining how people look and sound. Sudden thought what about webcam as we are all on line???

  • Added thought to above MSN do a free skype, which I think allows you to talk on line, but I'm not quite that technical does anyone else know how it works so we could all break the ice as they say???

  • Thanks again everyone.

    Anyone can have my phone number I don't mind just pm me I may be old but I am not daft and I can quickly get rid of unsolicited calls I have a great list of answers from "I will ask my carer to I will ask my landlord (both lies) to I live in a conservation area - true!!

    I do have Skype because my son is currently in Slovenia and the only way I get to know what he is up to is by Skype as he never answers phones but he will contact me!! I love him really :)

    I have a great group of fellow cat lovers on FB but the majority are of a totally different generation and are in relationships so do not understand the concept of loneliness, and I am sure a lot of you understand when you are not too good healthwise the idea of anyone thinking you are feeling sorry for yourself (even if you are) is abhorrent.

    Anyway I feel quite good about things today I have had two phone calls already and the postman has made a delivery AND my daughter is bring me a McDonalds at lunchtime WOW I live the high life some days :D

  • my father in law lives just two doors from me and I call in every day (sometimes several times a day) if I didn't he would probably not see anyone for days on end. he loves his radio, tv and he bought himself a laptop at the age of 84 and more or less taught himself the basics. he goes onto facebook , plays cards and chess with other people . I take him out as much as I can manage but it is quite tough pushing his wheelchair and not letting him know how much of a struggle it can be. his son works long hours and cant see him as much as he would like. but there is always a plus side because I enjoy his company, our little chats and cups of coffee. the thing that makes it all worthwhile is when he says your the daughter I never had. I had a bad few months of anxiety attacks and I used to run along to his house and I would always feel safer and more relaxed. I understand what you mean because loneliness can be very daunting but like you say tomorrow is another day. lots of love and take care.x

  • Jandan put the TV or radio on. Just before I go to sleep I put the TV on low and timer. I fall asleep and the TV turns itself on. As soon as I wake up I put the TV on so I hear voices in the background. Then I can go on and do my chores and exercises but I can still hear humans.

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