Still Smoking

[rainyday123]

My husband has severe copd and still smokes. He cant/wont give up and I dont know what to do. He was diagnosed about 8 years ago.

[Hidden]

If there was anything I could say I'd say it - as I have discovered the effect of smoking with COPD is devastating. What they don't tell you is that the onset of ragged gulping panic stricken gasping for breath can come on very suddenly by which time it's a bit late.

I'm on end of life palliative care, Oxygen 24/7 and crossing the room can be something of an adventure. If only I could not see the look of agony in the eyes of my wife.

I wish you luck, if only he could stop he could go on with very little change for years.

Take care,

Chris

[rainyday123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Chris

Liz

[Hidden in reply to rainyday123]

I know nothing anyone says changes anything being where I am I just wish I could save someone theses same agonies. I didn't mean to offend.

Good luck,

Chris

[rainyday123 in reply to Hidden]

not offended at all-I just cant help our situation and feel as if I have no control.

Liz

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

What is his general state of health - how old is he.

How is his breathing does he get out of breath.

There are many psychological reasons that underpin someone's apparent inability to give up.

You can PM me if you'd prefer not to have this all out here but this is the ideal place. There are so many helpful and knowledgeable people here. Don't feel helpless, it is you that is being active here - and as you love him don't give up.

Good luck,

Chris

[Lynne1955]

I can't say any more than the others. Perhaps show him this blog.

"If you do not stop smoking, you will die sooner than you think! Stop smoking, and you can be around for years. The choice is yours my friend"

Lynne xx

[sillywitch]

like your husband i too smoke, i was diagnosed two years ago just after the birth of my granddaughters, i have just suffered an allergic reaction to mucodyne that took 10 days to spot & the breathlessness was frightening & as my sats were 95 i was treated less than sympathetically. it hurt me to smoke but i cant begin to explain why i kept on. i,m sure it,s not that he wont, i imagine his shame & yes fear of being without the little stick that is quietly killing us plays a part,plus the products peddled by the nhs dont work for everyone,(i,ve tried them all)& hypnotherapy. i,ve heard that cognative behavioral therapy is a good way to succed but it is not available to smokers unless you pay for it, i wish with all my heart i could tell you a magic word or point you to a tool that would remove his need for a cig but i cant, there is no name i havn,t called myself for my weakness & i,m always trying to say sorry to those who love me & are suffering because i am, dont give up on giving up they say & i will try to quit again but it is soul destroying when i fail so all i can say is dont give up on your hubby giving up ,.

[Hidden in reply to sillywitch]

I am finding that slowly cutting down, by one every 2 days is best for me ... I have amazingly beaten my target for the day 3 times already in just a fortnight ! worth trying for you too ?

[Puffthemagicdragon]

Two years ago I kept getting pains in my chest. I went to A&E and it was angina and I had a stent put it. It was also found that I'd had a heart attack within the last two weeks that I didn't know about. I gave up smoking there and then. No patches, no talking. I just stopped. The point is you can wait till you get a heart attack and give up or give up just in case.

Sad to say, Three months after giving up smoking I found I couldn't breathe properly and was diagnosed with COPD. How it happened that quick I have no idea.

[brooksju in reply to Puffthemagicdragon]

Hi Puff, my brother is like you with angina,copd and has had the stent fitted, he is on maximume medication but still continues to smoke, I can see how much he is suffering with his breathing and his coughing but I can't understand why he won't give up the fags, it was the hardest yet the best thing I ever did and he can see the improvement in me but it still doesn't give him the insentive.

Best Wishes ju

[Puffthemagicdragon in reply to brooksju]

It's a shame he can't meet some of the people on here to see how bad he can get. I really don't know what to suggest.

[Hidden]

Yes I admit it - I am still smoking too. And I know I must stop. Unfortunately you can't make someone stop - I wish there was a magic wand. The worst thing you can do though is nag him though that is tempting. The trouble is that all smokers nowadays know the risks and some still don't stop so it doesn't work pointing out the problems that smoking can cause.

Good luck.

Bev x

[rainyday123 in reply to Hidden]

My main fear is that by the time he does give up it will be too late, as he is quite bad now.I selfishly worry for my future and my family.My life has changed so much and its not me with the condition.

[Hidden in reply to rainyday123]

smoking helps to open the airways and I believe is a main reason why people are scared of giving up. slowly does it methinks - quitting one cig a day or every 2 days - eases withdrawals and isn't such a shock to the respiratory system

[meike]

I gave up smoking 7 years ago , after being a heavy smoker for the best part of 40 years. I did not give up all at once but started to cut down until I did not smoke at all I have not had a cigarette since, and have never wanted one , my biggest incentive was that I was going to be a grandmother for the first time, it gave me the drive I needed to stop, I know it's difficult but it's worth it in the long run good luck to all who are trying you can do it if you really want too

[jemash in reply to meike]

Hi meike youre story is a carbon copy of mine! was told i had copd! gave up smoking after 35 years as i now have a dear little grandaughter it was a no brainer!!

[meike in reply to jemash]

Hi jemash, so pleased you gave up smoking , I have a very dear friend that has copd like you and I, and still smokes very heavy, each time I see her i ask her to please try and stop, she has just had another grandchild Which should have given her the incentive she needs but alas no , her husband also smokes, which makes it far worse for her, it's no good me going on about it to her she has got to want to stop,and at the moment I don't think she does its sad watching my friend ignore the fact that smoking will make her condition far worse and I feel at a loss Has how to help her By the way I now have a grandson who is seven and the light of my life

[jemash in reply to meike]

thankyou for youre reply meike its strange as i have a friend who is finding it so hard to give up also its so sad, we have to give ourselves a fighting chance at life i feel, i hate myself for this disease & feel sad at times, so pleased to hear about ur little fella

[nixy]

To all the smokers out there, please please try a little harder to kill the fags before they kill you. Dont leave it too late, I almost did. COPD and SMOKING do not go together.......

[thatcham1939]

hi homebreeze my brother smoked 40 to 50 cigs a day, i visted him one saturday and had just come back from playing bowls which and looking at him i could see his shoulders heaving i told him he had empasema and should go to the docs, his anser was i aright girl until his lung collasped and then he gave the fags up.

i feel very sorry for people who cannot give up, my sister smokes and is an alcholic, so you are marvellous to be feeling upbeat, i do sypathize

love jan

[rainyday123]

Thanks for all the kind words.I am going to try and get my OH to join this group.Maybe you all can inspire him.

[jeanghost]

My husband managed to pack up smoking after nearly 50 years. But three years ago he was diagnosed with COPD. Unfortunately he is on oxygen 24/7 this has ruined both our lives. When I see people smoking I describe the life we have now and hope that at least one will see sense. You cannot smoke when you are on oxygen 24/7 I am not sure what would happen but I bet it would not be very nice!

Good luck for the future.

[derrylynne]

I used to smoke. Until I found I could not walk 20 yards during a chest infection. I was rapildy going downhill. And there were two choice. Smoke and die. Or quit and hopefully live. I did the latter. And survived. if i had carried on smoking. There is no doubt I would be dust now. On the plus side. I don't pay a lot of tax to the government. But they have to pay me a pension. Win win for me. lol