Old is HEE Hee When HealthUnlockders

Bartender''I want ANOTHER Scotch with two drops of water''

''Coming right up ''says the bartender.

As he gives her the drink he says

''Ma'am,I'm dying of curiosity

Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?''

The old woman replies'

'' Sonny when you,re my age

you've learned how to hold your liquor..

Holding your water, however,is a whole other issue.''

OLD IS WHEN..Your sweetie says

''Let's go up stairs and makelove''

and you answer

''Pick one, I can't do both!''

OLD IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new aligator shoes and you're barefoot!

OLD IS WHEN.. A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy..And your pacemaker opens

the garage door.

OLD IS WHEN.. You don't care where your spouse goes,

Just as long as you don't have to go along.

OLD IS WHEN.. You are told to slow down by the doctor and not the police.

OLD IS WHEN.. 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

OLD IS WHEN.. 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the supermarket car park.

OLD IS WHEN.. An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.


OLD IS WHEN .YOU are not sure these are jokes!!




Are you getting a little action at your local Breathe Easy?

Not a member?Join for free now .Phone BLF Helpline 03000 030 555 10am-6pm for details

23 Replies

  • OLD IS WHEN your kids music all sounds the same. Ever heard of Dub Step, my 16 year old son listens to it all the time. 'Its music King but not as we know it' Tony :)

  • Cliff Richard,Buddy Holly,Billy Fury, Vince Eager,Elvis Presley,Fats Domino,Big Bopper,Michael Holliday,Wayne Fontana,Paddy Klaus & Gibson ,Marty Wilde

    Screaming Lord Sutch,TheTornados,Bert Wheedon,Sandy Nelson,Emile Ford,Frankie Vaughan,Max Bygraves to name but a few,What female singers can you remember Dusty Springfield,Helen Shapiro,Doris Day

  • Shirley Bassey, Lulu, Petula Clarke, Cilla Black, Diana Ross. Thats it brains locked up now. I expect you know a few more.

  • That's not like you dall05.Thought you knew all the girls!

  • In my dreams. Hey was'nt that Roy Orbison, now he had a voice!! Talking about a voice I had an hours singing this morning to exercise my lungs but now I need to get my ears seen too. Ha Ha.

  • You will be a choir boy soon.Does Hereford United have a choir?

  • Helen Shapiro, Twinkle, Dusty Springfield, Karen Carpenter, Tina Turner, The Beverley Sisters. Now I'm out

  • Walking back to happiness!!!!

  • Old is...going to the shops with no bottom teeth in and not giving a damn what people think ( when you've no choice that is - blush slightly) - OK so I'm still a tad vain but so long as I smile carefully I think I'll get by until I see the dentist for some new ones next week.

    Lucky :-)

  • Then we will see that ear to ear smile

  • Sandy Shaw wasn't a beach holiday :-)

  • I wonder

  • cheered me up this morning that did,

  • Put a ray of sunshine in your day has it?

  • Definitely made a good start to the day. Thanks

  • Keep it going through out the day.

  • It depends how youm look at them

  • What fun - old should be, when you can laugh at yourself and ........um forgotten what I was going to say ;)

  • Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say in my reply.Oh I remember,shucks gone again.

  • pat boone, cliff richard, dusty springfield, marty caine, and im to old to remember others p

    perhaps that dates me to the dark ages


  • Vera Lynn ,Ella Fitzgerald,,Patsy Cline Winifred Attwell,Sarah Vaughan,Eartha Kitt,Lena Horne,Peggy Lee,Shirly Bassey,Alma Cogan------Am I getting near the markJan


  • yes king what about joseph lock, louis armstrong, you have awakened my brain a bit, thanks


  • Connie Francis,Brenda Lee,Nat King Cole

You may also like...