Something For Your Christmas Health

Something For Your Christmas Health

Hi there all you heavy breathers!

It's just been reported why the Atos doctors don't recognise C.O.P.D. Apparently it's all our fault for walking into regions of ground where the atmosphere is devoid of oxygen, thus leaving us short of breath. There, you have the answer, you don't have bad lungs. Case closed.

The DWP is going to send out forms in the New Year, requesting all claimants to answer a few simple questions. Now beware of one particular question that asks you to tick YES or NO if you've had chicken for Christmas dinner. DON'T TICK YES if you've made a wish on the wishbone as you could lose your benefit due to being able to snap it with your little finger - thus proving you can lift and raise your arm without stress. Case closed.

If your housing benefit is reduced because you're a single person living in a two-bed dwelling, and you can no longer cope with all the cuts and are made homeless, don't despair. The DWP is going to grant all the new homeless a beggin-bowl and a sleeping bag free of charge for the first year. Case closed.

Righto, the above is just a bit of seasonal humour and not to be taken seriously. But it is hoped you've had a good little titter and your spirits have lifted somewhat. So now I'd like to wish you all a really good Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

PS. Cabbage really IS good for you - especially the spirit distilled from it. Hic, hic ...

18 Replies

  • A really good Christmas and Happy New Year to you too tomscribe. Liked the wishbone breaking especially. Jolly japes are worth their weight in gold when we're all feeling a bit down.

    All the best!

  • Thank you, lavendar1, it's good to read your day's been lightened a little. All the best.

  • A happy funny festive season to you

  • I might have a couple o' cocktails meself this year! All the best!

  • Not forgetting that going to the toilet proves you are able to sit unaided for at least 5 minutes ........ 20 minutes if you've got the newspaper with you.

    Merry Crimbo to you too :-)

  • 40-minutes if you take a couple of ciggies with you. Yep, I'm guilty of that! All the very best.

  • Naughty Naughty

  • Brilliant! Thanks for that :/

  • You're most welcome, libby7827. All the best!

  • Have a happy Christmas & New Year, had a titter at your seasonal humour thanks for lightening the seriousness of todays blogsCheers!!!!!!

  • Thank you, katieoxo60, much appreciated! All the best!

  • I'd like to thank those who've responded to this blog, and those that will as there's nowt better than a good old laugh to make you feel a tad better when the chips are down. I'm considering writing a blog in the New Year covering the preceding events leading to my downfall at the mercy of alcohol over the festive period - therefore I'd be most grateful to those of you out there who can remind me of what happened during this period.

    All the best to everyone ****

  • Hello

    I enjoyed your post and it certainly made me giggle. Wishing you all a happy and healthy Christmas and New Year. Heych x

  • Thank you, much appreciated!

  • Hi, Im Margaret and new to this site. I was diagnosed over three years ago with COPD and Asthma.II loved your humour and look forward to more of it. Margaret

  • Hi Margaret. C.O.P.D. isn't nice and can at times get you down-in-the-dumps, as happened to me some time back. Luckily, my sense of humour soon made me snap out of it and I strive to find a laugh at least once every day, even if it's at my own expense! Keep looking on the bright side. Wishing you well.

  • I loved reading that and thankyou. Only new here so I hope you had a good Xmas and that you have a great New Year tooo xxxxx

  • ah ah very good

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