Need of advice to help my mum please - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation
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Need of advice to help my mum please

11 Replies

My mum age 43 has been told she has copd... Since being told she has not returned to a doctor and gets very sick.. Always has colds coughs complains its really bad flu. She smokes still i think she may not have excepted this yet. I worry all the time try to talk about it. She doesn't have the knowledge of it.. I'm worried what steps should be taken now for her she found out she had copd when she went to the hospital. Any info or advice would be helpful.. Thanks Charlie x

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11 Replies

I am sorry to hear about your mum Charlie248. It sounds like she is in denial. If she won't admit something is wrong she hasn't got to acknowledge it and it 'might go away'.

You can contact BLF and get their bumph about COPD. Maybe you could casually give it to her or leave it where she can find it.

At the end of the day though it is her life and whilst you are understandably worried you can't force her to face up to it. Maybe she just needs some time to adjust - its not easy being diagnosed with an illness. So I wouldn't push it too much at the moment.

If you let her know that you care and are there for her she may find it easier to confide in you.

Hope this helps.

Bev x


hello it,s a fact that copd is not reversible, but you can slow it down, by stopping smoking, getting to the doctors and making sure that you get the infections cured, this may seem simple but i believe we all keep going with low or medium levels of infection because we are used to having it, and also get walking as far as you can go every day, use inhalers etc as shown, and make sure some one shows you,

i wish i had taken it seriously the first time i was told, i would be much better now

one thing my wife is like you mother in denial and there is very little you can do, i know how upsetting it is, there are a lot of people like her,

look after her and yourself



Hi Charlie sorry to hear about your mum, i too have copd but older aged 66 years but my advice is talk to the practice nurse at your doctors most of them know about copd.

And try and talk your mum into seing her also there is nearly 4million people in this country who have this illness so your mum is not on her own.



Charlie your mum should really be on inhalers - who was it who told her she had c.o.p.d. If it was her g.p. I think she would have been given a prescription for the basic relief inhalers and told to have a spirometry test which would be repeated every year. Lots of people walking around with this disease could be getting some relief so maybe not a bad thing to have the diagnosis and once she acknowledges she has this encourage her to stop smoking some people cannot stop straight away I certainly couldn't. Her quality of life will improve once she gets some treatment. I am older than your mum and have probably had this illness for the past ten years so as you can see she can live with this for many years to come and try not to worry too much. Keep your support for her. I have a very caring son also and couldn't have coped without his backing x


Thank you everyone. Really helpful will just go from

Here and see the doctors and find out what treatment is needed. Will keep you all updated and thanks again.. X


Good luck Charlie, hopefully with some professional help your mum will be on the road to dealing with her illness in a positive way and with you helping her she will be in the best hands I'm sure. It's hard watching a parent suffer because you always expect them to be there for you, looking after you. Now roles are reversed I hope things work out hun x


Hi Charlie

Sorry to hear about mum, it sounds like you are almost taking over the mum role? If you would like to email me directly or call to discuss and for some emotional support please do so (I am out of the office Monday and Tuesday) sorry bad timing! But I shall get back to you via email etc or call back if you prefer? Let me know. Helpline no is 03000 030 555. Take care



Thank you I will definitely be in touch on Monday. X


Hi Charlie, i agree with the above comments and she needs to be on inhalers, depending what level of copd your mum has, i am the same age as her and i was diagnoised in 08, at 38yrs old, i can see why she is ignoring it but sooner or later she will have to deal with it, and getting medical advice is first step good luck hun xx


Thank you I'm working on it x


Hi Charlie, nice to see you getting so much support on here! Another thing you could try would be going to her doctor, (ore you may have an asthma nurse there) stress you realise they can't discuss her health with you, but tell them your worries and maybe they could call her in for a proper appointment. If these people don't know how concerned YOU are, they may not realise how will she is? Best wishes x

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