Supporting

[bewildered]

My friend is considering going on the transplant list now her condition has deteriorated to a very low level. As friends we have been through a lot together but where I have been able to use my own feelings about how it affects us, this will be something beyond my previous experience and frightening to boot. How can I support my friend when I do not know how she feels, any help gratefully taken, thanks in advance.

[elian]

I think you will be supporting her in the best way possible, dong what you're doing now - being her friend and being there for her, listening when she wants to take and keeping a companionable silence when she doesn't.

I hope everything works out ok for her........ and you too

[Jo_BLFHelpline British Lung Foundation]

Hi

Sometimes just being there is enough, just knowing you are there i'm sure will be a great comfort to your friend. I don't think your friend will expect you to know the answers to her questions or worries,or to even fully understand or comprehend what she is going through, but being able to say things out loud to an empathetic and supportive friend can provide so much more comfort and support than we sometimes give ourselves credit for.

Maybe ask her what you may be able to do to help, anything practical like research can be a big help. Remember to be supportive you may need support yourself - if you want to talk this through we have Helen a counsellor who can provide guidance.

Best Wishes

Jo

[traindriver]

Good point Jo we have to look after ourselves to be able to look after others, no good to nobody if the stress makes things worse. Being a good friend is a valuable thing as both of you know already just keep sharing that.