i have been a member for about a year now i read your blogs through my emails every day i have mod /severe copd and angina i am 63 years i had to finish work 3 years ago due to angina after a heart by pass 10 years ago the problem was all my tests showed up clear for my heart which left me feeling like a fraud as i had been finshed at work due to my health i had a good income and i have never been a shirker when it comes to work, the company had to let me go,i was a very sucsesful sales rep but my angina probs started with a day off then a week then a month off then several months till i could not do a day this was over a period of 3 years. then to be told they could not find the problem was depressing . Two years ago i was diagnosed with copd at that time my mobility was fine and so was my breathing though i like to make a noise on the kareoke and did notice that i could not sing some notes haha . my probs with copd started about 9 months later 15 months ago icould not walk far with out stopping hills were hard and since then my mobility has got worse and chest infections are regular i lived with my partner who looked after me and was great but i started stopping in not going out and she was caring for me and my father . my dad has suffered with copd for years he is now at the end he is end case copd i have looked after him for 6 years along with my brother and sister though when i finished work i took the lions share of his care along with my partner but in the last year its been difficult for me to get round hospitals with him and my brother and sister have failed to realise i have told them but they work and have active lives so my partner had to get involved more . my partner is 63 she got a private pension recently i was getting pension credit and they told me i was only entitled to £5 . 33p a week and along with the fact we were starting to get on each others nerves being together 24/7 and she would have to keep me with the hard earned money from her pension earned before i met her we had been together 5 years i decided to get a flat which i am now in a ground floor flat with a warden who comes from time to time in a lovely village . The thing is i do not go out other than to see my partner i do not socialise with my mates i used to go the local club twice a week but every time i meet people friends within 10 mins i am telling them about my health and they look at me sat down and can not understand i look fine to them so i am well aware of myself going on as i have in this blog and so i have become withdrawn depressed and not the out going respected Bob i always was and feel i am no longer serving any purpose i started copd rehab this week but only the education side as they wont let me do exersise when i was leaving i told the nurse i was not handling things well and need help she said ok so maybe next week but i am at the bottom i know there are people a lot lot worse than me who get on with it and handle it well but i am not and i am not a softie i have been a bit of a lad in my time the very fact that i am not handling this is the most depressing and very frustrating thing i realy am sorry for going on and on and i do think the folks on this site are brilliant but i do not want pity i need help to find my self again thanks for listening and good luck to all
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