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British Lung Foundation
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can stress in the family stop you recovering from haemipyhlis influenzae

Ive still got haemiphylis influenzae after 6 months and lots of antibiotics.I am getting very drainned with this.I also have a grandson living with us who is trying to get over a drinking problem I am helping him the best way i can but its tiring aswell. i keep getting told to kick him out but i feel i will of failed him if i do this.I do have a partner who is tired with it all aswell so thats making it worse.My grandson is trying his best but still drinks,So thats my question trying to help him is making me tired could this be making my recovery slower cause i feel now is the time to think of myself

18 Replies

You need to put your own health first..I would ask yourself a few question regarding your grandsons drinking, what is he doing to stop ? is he attending alcoholics anonymous ? Is he seeking professional help? If not he should be. Most people with alcohol problems cannot over come them without help.

In the end if he is doing nothing to help himself I would ask him to leave ( tuff love) maybe the best thing for him.

Hope this isn't to harsh, I have had many dealing with people suffering from alcohol addiction problems,the best advice I could offer your grandson would be to attended A.A meeting on a regular basic.




It has took me awhile to realise it has to be tough love because i love my 19 year old grandson very much.I have offered to go with him to aa not had a answer to that one yet.He cant see he has a problem but he has.Hes just thinks hes a teenager but as i live in a flat its hard work when hes drunk even when hes in his room.He has caused a lot of problems with drink and drugs in the passed so there is always the worry he will do or say something again.He hasnt had drugs for over a year he has cut down his drinking but i still find myself stressed with it.I also have emphsema and copd some being 59 aswell i find it very hard to cope.Thank you very much for your reply its been good to get it of my chest


Hello Kay1400

I agree with Wozzert re your Granson.

Stress can slow down your immunne system andin turn find it hard to fight fections ask your surgery to send your sputum for C@S to ensure you still have an infection, then theycan put you on the correct anibiotics. You need to ensure you have a good balanced diet to help your immunne system and drink plenty of fuilds Hope you feel better soon.



Thank you for repling.i do feel like my immune system is zero at the moment.Ive have continuous spetum tests every time ive finished a course of antibiotics each one has come back positve.I do drink plenty of fluids i like a cup of tea.Im due to get another result today so fingers crossed it will be ok.Ive had every antibiotic they say the bug is sensitive to but the thing wont go.It does fell good to talk


Kay I am so sorry you are in this situation. What a dreadful dilema - even for someone who is well - torn between your health and doing what you feel is right for your grandson.

I have also been plagued with HI since Christmas, thought to be colonised, on various abs yet again and yes it is very draining. Although I feel the only way to kick HI into touch (if only for a while) is abs, along with nebbing and physio. Saying that yes I think stress can lower your immune system, making you more prone to infection. Just my opinion - sure someone will come along if this is in fact incorrect.

I do agree with Wozzer re your grandson taking steps to get help, and sadly you having to think in terms of tough love, to help you both. You might also want to get help from AA for family members.

Good luck sweet. Please let us know how you are and I hope the HI takes a hike pretty soon.

Love C XXX


I think deep down ive known the stress of this is not helping me but just recently i thought ive got to act because ive been to the hospital twice in the last 3 montha because my breathing has got worse.I told them it seems like im having a job fighting it.Ithoght it was because of the emphysema but now i know all this is not helping .Ive took my granson to get leaflets but i think he did it to please me.he knows how to pull at my heart strings.He will say whay is there to live for if you kick me out and the thought of that with losing my brother very suddenly last year scares me cause i wouldnt be able to cope.I feel like im writing a book but i could go on about all sorts but dont want to sound a moaner


Thank you you are very kind i cant believe how nice people have been and not judged him that really helps me because i was expecting people to say oh another teenager thank you agin and i will post on the site how my test goes today.Do you know of a site that family can taught to about alcohol incase people get bored of hearing me


Kay with regard to HI. Totally agree with Muriel to get another MC&S done, but all the samples I have had cultured have come back sensitive to amox, doxy or augmentin, except this last one which was resistent to amox. Even after the use of these abs, after a couple of days temp flared and gunk filthy. It wasn't until I had 1g amox 3 times a day for a month, then doxy for a month followed by Clarith that HI took a back seat, but is back again now. Just wondered if you have had the right abs decided from your samples and it didn't clear if your abs were given in a high enough dose for long enough.



I have been exactly the same as you.Each time a test comes back they say its sensitive to certain antibiotic i have them and when ive finished them put another test in and its still there.At first i dont know about you but icoped ok,i fact you wouldnt think i had aproblem,but now after so long i know its getting a grip.Ive had alsorts of tablets i feel like a walking chemist.Do you how any other medical problems that stops you fighting it.If you dont mind sayin.Thank you so much for replying.ive got a test result today so i will see how it goes



There is a tratment I have read about for alcoholism where a drug is prescribed which makes the person feel really, really ill if they drink any alcohol.

Could your Grandson ask about this at the GP? If he doesn't want to do it, I wonder about his motivation to stop.

My other thought about it is, where are his parents? They should not be leaving this to you with your health. I don't know how old he is, but he needs to start taking responsibility for himself.

I talk from some experience. Not with children or grandchildren, but my first husband was an alcoholic and to live with them is very, very hard. He and I split up as I could not stand it any longer and sadly, he did die from it, not even 40.

Lynne xx


I didnt know about the drug i will certainly tell him.Im n the bad books at the moment because i told him yesterday if he didnt get help he would have to go.He thinks i am being hard on him.He loves me very much and does try to be quiet when he has adrink but the strain is to much.Maybe if i was a lot stronger and not as poorly i would of tackled him earlier.Its all everyone seems to talk aboue its driving me nuts.I do love him i always will but i dont like what hes doing to hiself and to me.its seems were the last place for him to go so i dont know what to do because he keeps telling me that.I cant think of him on the streets.I feel like i am on a alcohics site so i am very gratefull to everyone whos answered me.I feel like i could write all day


Forgot to say about his parent my daughter has 3 children and he had to leave because he causd a lot of problem with being in drugs and drink then.1 brother who is only6 loves him to bits and hes the same .the 14 year old is terrified of him so basically he if goes back the 14 year old will leave and he also hates his step father,so thats a no no.He went o live at a friends after that but they couldnt cope so we were his last option,sorry forgot to say his dad is a recovering alcoholic hes been dry 12 months now and would love to help my granson but the place hes at dosent allow drinkers.His dad really wants to help him but he always favoured the 14 year old so i dont think my grandson believes him ,but i do,I am working on that


What a dreadful dilemma. I am no medic but can only tell you that stress affects my husband so very badly. He has moderate/severe COPD and when he has stressed he has severe COPD. I can immediately tell, his cough is the first things that increases, then headaches, sleeplessness etc. etc. Our son has just moved to uni and the stress (and that was good stress!) made him quite ill for about three weeks to the point that he had decided he needed abs and steroids, he was convinced he was starting with an infection. I asked him just to wait a day or two and as things returned to normal then he started to recover.

I wonder if you could talk to your grandson and explain that this is affecting your health. Could he consider moving out if only for the weekends to give you a break. But I guess you would be worried about him then.

But you have to look after your own health - you won't be able to help him at all if you deteriorate.

Take good care and look after yourself. TAD xx


First of all thank you for replying its great.What you say about your husband is exactley how i am.My cough as got worse and generally feel tired and drained all the time.I have talked to my grandson about my health he does get upset then but says what if i stay in my room and not cause problems but hes missing the point of hes still telling me hes having a drink..i do know it cant go on much longer.That is a good idea about the weekend cause that would give us a break.that would be wonderfull.I will suggest that thanks


Dear Kay

You are not a moaner and we will never be bored. On the contrary we are glad you feel comfortable enough with us to share your problems with us.

Great idea of Tadaws and I hope this works out for you both.

Just put up a link for AA help for families. There is a telephone number and I hope you will find some helpful advice and support.


Hope Kay you will carry on feeling happy and comfortable talking to us. We are worried about your health and although AA will understand the drinking side of stuff, when it comes to your lung health we all 'get it'.

Did your last results show Haem Influ again Kay, if so what abs is it sensitive to? Do you see a resp consultant?

Please let us know how you get on.

With love



Thanks for that it makes me feel better with someone to talk to.The results werent back yesterday ive got a appointment to see doc today at 3 15 to see what test said and to see if i can have the flu jab,bit ironic that eh.Going docs to see if i have got rid of a flu to have a flu jab you have to laugh haveny you,By the way grandson not had a drink for 2 days since i told him he has to go or go to aa.Will keep you informed how it goes.I was wondering if there were any specalist who actually deal with this bug.At least if there were i could go armed with this info to docs

Thanks again by the way how are you?


Bless fyou or asking Kay. Just like you when you have your own problems - I'm struggling a bit but this thread is about you, but thank you so much for caring.

No there isn't a specialist who deals specifically with HI - it's just one of the many bugs the specialists have to deal with, saying that I will say again your best option if you haven't already got a resp consultant please ask to be referred to one. He/she is the best person to see, especially as it has gone on for so long.

Great to hear you grandson has not drunk for 2 days since your chat. He sounds as though he loves and respects you, and who wouldn't.

With love

C xxx


oh love wish i could hug you, i,m in the same situation or nearly ,my husband suffers with anger problem, he,s had anger management councelling nothing helps our gp says he has a personality problem, yes!!!!!!! stress makes everything worse, when he starts my breathing gets worse chest tightens , i,m ill, and oddly usualy he starts when i,m getting a good time health wise , hugs jude


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