Today started off badly as in one hadn't had any decent sleep for 48 hours and was just slightly grumpy. Spent the night reading a book called "Hospital Babylon," recommend it you will never look at doctors and nurses in A & E in the same light ever again. By 5 am had enough normally love my bed, but gave up and decided to go and make dinner for tonight, you be amazed what I get up to at night when I cannot sleep.
By 7 am I am emptying the washing machine pegging some bed linen on the line, filling the recycle bin, emptying bins and cleaning the fridge, at this point it is okay to make a bit of noise as husband is getting up for work. Lottie quite sensibly is snoozing on the sofa under the patchwork duvet thinking oh god Mum has loss the plot again.
If only I could lose the plot, just maybe I wouldn't care then, but quite frankly I have had enough. Me being me though just cannot offload how I feel inside to my nearest and dearest. I cannot bang on how my lungs feel crap and how I have to take certain measures to get through the day and night, just not me. I don't want people's sympathy it achieves nothing, I can feel sorry for myself if I so wish, so I plough on day in day out knowing that little is going to change for the better at the present and I must just keep pacing myself.
9 am at the poo as truly hit the fan, I have glanced out the window and my lovely crisp cream linen is on the lawn, I can't cope that's it, I burst into tears leave the linen on the wet lawn, grab Lottie Dog and go to bed. I read a few pages about policing on the front line in a book, burst how laughing, yes it was that funny. And yes I am experiencing mood swings and promptly fall asleep hugging Lottie Dog, two hours of blissful sleep and I am ready to face the world again. Round two commence, lets try and access my online energy provider account, not it is not having it, forty five minutes on the phone to N Power's IT team and we cannot crack the problem between us, one hour later finally at the local hospital for another session of zapping in the TARDIS for my skin, and a good ole chin wag with the nurses about my latest OU module which is health related, and watch Lottie badly behave and get rewarded with biscuits. Leave an hour later feeling some what more buoyant, I am really not a waste of space and have been able to have some intelligent conversation.
In town I chat to a homeless chap about his dog who really needs some veterinary care, have seen them before but didn't know the situation, so glad that I have stopped to talk to him. Basil his dog is in a bit of a state and is loving the cuddles and massage I am giving him, whilst Lottie is just intent on hoovering up any offerings out "Greggs," to cut a very long story a bit shorter. Both Conrad and Basil need some help to get through the forthcoming winter, Conrad is fearful and doesn't know where to turn, it is not up to me to judge why Conrad is where he is today, the best I can do is try and support him my acknowledging his presence and giving his dog some much needed cuddles. So first port of call was to allow for Conrad to allow me to take his dog with one of his supporters to the pets to get Basil an new collar and lead, the rope was making his neck sore! And this evening I have been speaking to a local vet and have written to our local RSPCA branch who I have links with to see if we can provide Basil with some basic vet care, otherwise winter will be truly unpleasant and potentially life threatening.
Yes my life isn't perfect, I am in poor health but when faced with the likes of Conrad and Basil, I am so lucky, I have a loving husband, a lovely if naughty daxie dog, my studies, a roof over my head and the care of a great vet for my dog because I can afford to insurance Lottie.
So next time you walk down the street and see a homeless person, say hello they are human just like us, yes they might be drunk, they even have taken illegal substances but we do not know what lead them to this life, just count yourself lucky it isn't you.
Hugs to Everyone Daxiemad and Lottie Dog
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Daxiemad
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I don't know if I am a lovely person, I just cannot walk by if there is something I can do. I would love to change the world, make sure than no one suffers, no animal hurts, but I cannot, I don't have the resources. What I can do is use what is available to me, and perhaps if we all just a made a tiny difference to just one person, the world could be a whole lot better.
It reminds me of when I was in hospital in june with Pnuemonia. A woman was admitted, I knew she was a heroin addict as they gave her Methadone. She kept wandering off crying but just they sent her back to bed, she was clearly high but also ill. The other patients were moaning and a couple of the nurses purposely avoided her and called her by the wrong name, I lost my temper in the end and shouted her real name, she kept us awake all night. When the morning shift arrived it was obvious they knew her, a nurse took her for a bath then settled her in bed she slept for hours, all she needed was a bit of compassion. My father always taught me never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, it appears Daximad we had the same teacher. Lol
That was so nice to read Daximad,I have had quite a weepy day my self,and although i don't burden my family with the way I truly feel,some times it is so hard and lonely to stay strong,I;d always hoped one day i'd see the light at the end of the tunnel health wise,to be told of copd on top of everything else.was very hard too take,but when i read your blog, i smiled and knew you are indeed right,life may not be as we planned it,but i'm sure conrad and basil didn't plan theirs either.x
Enjoyed reading your post Daximad. When I'm feeling a bit low I do try and think of all those worse off than me, sometimes it's difficult not to feel sorry for myself, and I have such alot to be thankful for.
A really lovely blog that i thoroughly enjoyed reading One of the best I have read on this forum as it is so descriptive. Keep that smile and that cheerful disposition, and keep writing the blogs as I am sure many on this site will enjoy and look forward to your writing
Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments, had a phone call this morning from my local RSPCA Branch after some emailing and phone calls I made last night to see if I could find help for Conrad and Basil. Going to try and locate him over the next couple of days. The branch want some details of where to find him, and so I am going to talk to him about getting an inspector coming to see him to sort out Basil with some care. Going to have tread carefully because I don't want him to get scared and make sure he understands that we wish to help him, and not separate him from his dog. And then on the weekend I shall be at a local cider festival supporting the RSPCA raising money for a few hours. Something I do every year several times a year.
Thank you Daxiemad, really enjoyed reading this. Basil could have gone around for years with that rope annoying him but for you -Lottie is one lucky dog! An uplifting and very funny blog to read on a wet morning.
What a lovely post - the problems and worries we have are all relative, although reading of Conrad and Basil does make us think of our own situations.
There is a homeless man whom i seem to see every Wednesday night after work sitting in a doorway with his white dog ( i can't remember the breed, but she is beautiful) Sometimes he seems very sad but is clearly comforted by his dog who seems just content sitting by his side.
We often have a quick chat - mostly about his dog and give some loose change - i think just stopping to have a chat is often underestimated in the effects it can have.
I hope this all gets sorted for Conrad and Basil and things improve for them (and you).
Thank you for giving your time to this homeless gentleman and his dog, those few minutes of discussion probably are very precious to him. I always say to people it doesn't matter what your problem is, no matter how minor it might seem to others, as long as it is causing you bother and distress it must be addressed. Experience, and time and support from others as given me the skill to cope with dark days, and now in what ever way I can if I can help someone else I feel I am not only paying forward some much needed help, but also in a round about way thanking those people who took time out to support me when I have been in need.
And also by giving my time even in the smallest of ways, it gives me a sense of satisfaction and self worth. When not engaging in the world of employment it is so easy to lack identity and feel that you are of no value to anyone, just engaging with the community can restore that.
daxiemad, what a lovely person you are. so practical. I do not sleep very well , acouple of hours,then up .back to bed is my usual, last night was a bobbydazler watched the clock every hour. went back to bed and dammed if I could sleep.so now taking a leaf out of your book, going to do the ironing!!I also am a animal lover and have worked with homeless young men with mental health problems, unfortunatly was bound by rules and regulations and at times soul destroying. keep caring and bless. x
What a lovely post. In spite of being very low at present due to not being able to snap out of feelings of constant anxiety you have made me thankful that I at least am warm, got a lovely comfortable bed & a dog that is only to happy to dish out cuddles. Thank you. Hope you are having a better day today x
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despite your everyday problems you are able to see the silver linings out there 
Bed wedge recommendations please
What a difference a day makes!
HOME NOW & ATTACHED TO MY OXYGEN TANK
Sorry not been on for a few days.
