Its been an up and down couple of weeks. Grief is my main feeling right now. Loss of the man I once knew, and the loss that is in front of me. Yes, this is self indulgence, and sometimes you have to look life right in the face.
As a near-carer, I find hubbys ups and downs rather hard to live with, as does he. He continues to work from home, and gets tired easily. Is on antibiotics continually, and has had an ear infection for the second time in a couple of months, so is on another antibiotic as well.
This is going to sound cruel, and there are times when I just wish it was all over, or that he would get well. Don't want to lose him, and have to take each day as it comes I guess. Trying hard to trust that things will go as they need to, slowly, and that my kids will also be able to cope with this horrible process of losing him to a wretched disease. Sometime soon we need to have a proper family conference to talk everything through, at present we seem to be tiptoing round the subject and not facing it at all, and at the same time, we need to move forward. Off to the solicitors next week, to sort out wills though, and I want to put our bank accounts in joint names to cover all emergencies. Hubby is not happy with this prospect and it fighting it, but I have to do this.
Anyone else find ways to do this??