British Lung Foundation
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Finding it hard to cope

Nearly 8 weeks ago my Dad was told he was not expected to live more than 4 weeks.He had been seen in a&e by a doctor who had never met him before. it had been recorded in hus notes (i read them myself otherwise i wouldn't have believed it) that he was in

endstage ipf and not expected to live more than 4 weeks. since then we have been bombarded with support, weekly home visits from gp, carers coming in to get him up,

hospital bed installed downstairs etc. it's all been welcome and necessary but we had prepared ourselves that dad wasn't going to make it. now we're all knackered, scared, don't know what to do for the best. he doesn't seem much different to 7 weeks ago except constantly on edge thinking is today the day?! Help!

2 Replies

Hi Annie,

This is how not to do 'end of life care', I really feel for you. I worked in Palliative Care for 25+ years and can related to much of what you say /feel. What support have you got? I have cared for patients who have been told they have a month to live.....who wait .....go through every stage of the grieving process.....and are really angry when that month has been and gone. Nobody and l mean nobody can give you an exact time / date of death. As an indication that time may be getting short, l and my colleagues would say if you note changes month by month then they have a few months to live or note days to day changes then days but please remember the unexpected can happen. This allow people the time to prepare and plan together. Please ring the helpline or your GP and get some psychological support for you as soon as possible. Ask questions, tell them how you're and Dad are feeling and keep visiting us. There is always someone here to listen and respond. Big {..HUG..}. Marilyn xXx


i think your dad is putting two fingers up to the doctors - good on him, i wish him the best

I can imagine that this is one of the most difficult times of your life but remember you have friends and support here when you need it.

It is hard to know what to say but try and get some rest and keep smiling for your Dad.



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