British Lung Foundation

mother hen

hi all

this is my first time on site i was told about it by the blf support team after ringing them feeling very isolated and lonely as i dont feel i can tell my family how i feel and friends just say you look realy well but the truth is i feel very lonely. I am unable to except my diagnosis of copd i am cofused and dont know were to turn i was hoping for some words of incouragment and advice.


8 Replies

Hi Julia, welcome to the community. I fully understand your situation, people look at you and because your condition is not blatantly visible assume your are okay. I presume you have recently been given your diagnosis, it can be difficult to get your head around it; it can be confusing and frightening but if you take things slowly and get information from your GP and chest consultant plus from people on this site you will be able to manage the symptoms and anxiety. If you are feeling particularly anxious or depressed you may be able to get a referral to a counsellor to help you with this side of the condition. Using this site/community can be very helpful as we all have experienced what you are going through at some stage.

I hope you feel you can cope and discuss things with either this community or your friends and family, sometimes simply discussing your worries can be of great benefit. Take care and try to maintain your normal day to day activities, probably at a slower pace than you would usually do though. You will gain further insight into what your capabilities are; you will also find that you are more capable than you may believe at this moment. Best wishes, Richard.


Hello Julia - I too am new to this site and I have already been greatly comforted just by reading about people going through the same things as me, in one way or another. I already feel I can come on here and not feel a nuisance by asking questions, or from telling my story which is a great therapy!! You may feel greatly comforted by just telling your story too - you will probably get lots of useful information from people going through the same thing in varying degrees. Keep your chin up - it is worrying at first but it honestly does get easier to understand and deal with when you talk to others. Best regards. Janette x


jan thanks for your support x


Hi Julia, please do ask your GP for a referral to pulmonary rehabilitation, this course will help you cope and manage your copd, the course will give you the tools to help you continue living with reasonable quality of life, and after this I am sure you will feel much more comfortable about living with copd and sharing this with your friends and family.

The BLF helpline can provide you with leaflets that you could give to friends and family to help explain things, also if you do phone the helpline ask about a Breathe Easy group in your area.

Try not to worry too much its always difficult in the beginning but honestly the pulmonary rehabilitation course will help you a lot.

Good wishes to you and keep in touch.



Well done for plucking up the courage to come on here firstly and writing a blog. It can feel scary the first time. We are all here for the same from likewise people who can offer help when needed or will simply listen if you want a good old fashion moan!

As the daughter of someone with a lung condition, maybe I can offer you an insight from a family perspective. We only know, what you tell us. We are not psychic and don't always know how you are feeling so please be honest and tell us. It is easy to forget how ill you are at times, mainly when you appear to be ok and are going about your everyday life with little obvious visual difficulty. And there will be many times when you say you are fine when you are not, as you said, so TELL US!

Your family, I am sure will be horrified to think that you are suffering in silence and they are doing little if nothing to help you. Tell them how they can help as sometimes we don't know what to do and can even hinder you or makes things worse-unintentionally.

The Rehab course as mentioned is a great source of inspiration to my dad is just coming to the end of his and what he has learnd from it is amazing. Again, the breathe easy meetings are a gtreat source of companionship and support.

But regardless of all that, the best support you can have is from your loved ones so share everything with them, if you can. For thse who don't have that family support network, I am sure everyone will agree with me..........WE ARE FAB TOO!

Take care and chin up xxxxxxxxxxx if you look down you might have a double chin!!!!!!!!!!!!


thank you for your side of things it has given me room for thought i hope i will be able to take your advice i think it may be different if i had a girl and us oldies do try to protect our young sometimes at a cost to ourselves .


I agree, my brother keeps my dad running around doing things for him when he shouldn't really. I don't thnk he should, I think he should take it easier but then again maybe thats what keeps my dad going, knowing he is depended on so much yu know.

I would probably do the same with my two. That's what being a parent is all about tho isnt it. Don't do as I do, do as I say lol.


stitch thank you for your reply i am feeling a little better since making contact with this site as it has made me relise i am not the only person with this condition so not feeling so sorry for myself.

i am pleased to hear you were able to be open with your family and friends eventualy i am sure i will get there.

had another ct scan on friday will get results in about 3 weeks.

chat again soon regards julia.


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