My Fiancée has just been told she has COPD and one question that has come up was can we have a baby?

I would ask her to ask her doctor but she is just trying to get her head around this news and I don't like to bring this up because it obveousely upsets her. No matter the answer I am staying with her but she feels like this would take a big part of my life away from me. :-/ help me please :-(

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  • Hi Robot

    So sorry for your partner's recent diagnosis, the one thing I can recommend apart from being smoke free is ask her doctor to be referred to a pulmonary rehabilitation course where she can learn much about managing her symptoms and help to keep her condition stable, slowing down the progress of copd.

    Having a baby is possible and something she may want to enquire into on the PR course and with her GP.

    If your partner is under 46 years of age or there abouts she may want to enquire if she can be tested for Alpha1 Antitrypsin, the hereditary form of COPD. I am sure her Consultant can advise her further about this.

    Its great that you will continue to support her at this time, its always very difficult in the early days of being diagnosed, I am sure it is for you too. If you can go with her when she has her consultant visits I'm sure that will be a tremendous help.

    Things may not seem as bad as once feared once your partner has been on a PR course, if you can attend that with her too, it will help you both understand copd so much better.

  • Thank you zoee,

    I will ask her about the PR course and I will definatly make it there with her as I have seen they seem to be helpful for alot of people on here.

    Thankyou for this reply it's very helpful

  • The only person who can answer this is your doctor....i guess your partner is quite young to be dx copd as i was.I too wanted children but was advised against it due to the strain it would put on my heart.Does not mean you will get the same advice i hope not.

  • Ok thank you for this reply.

    Knowing there is someone else young with it is kind of nice on its own but thank you for the info too as thank you I hope not too sorry to hear about your news ;-(

  • Even if your partner's consultant says that having a family is okay, there are other things that you both need to discuss in detail. Myself and my husband were faced with the same question nearly 20 years ago. Medically it was possible but I was warned that because there were many drugs that I couldn't continue using I would feel pretty unwell as the pregnancy progressed, the baby has it developed would put more pressure on my lungs causing more breathlessness. I was prepared to feel unwell to have a family, but what I wasn't prepared for was the impact it would have on immediate family like my partner. His family were elderly and mine not close by, so we had no immediate support when I was ill, something we felt needed much consideration. Who would look after the child when I was unfit to do so. With the lack of family support we came to the difficult decision not to have a family, and yes I still wish at times I had a family, but I know my husband and I made the right decision for us. There is no right answer everyone is different, you of course must seek medical advice about this. But right now your partner has much to adjust to with a recent diagnosis, so just give her loads of cuddles and listen!

    What I have lost in not being a Mum, I have gained in other ways, I have a fabulous godson (and his bigger brother) who when I have been well have done everything for, but also during times of being unwell I have learnt that caring for children is much harder when SOB comes into play.

    Wishing you both well for the future xxxxx Daxiemad

  • Yes this is something I have been thinking about and know in a few years I will be working from home so that will make looking after her and the baby ok but we still have alot to talk about in the shorter term. Thank you for the reply I appretciate any responses and have found yours very helpful and knowing there's a chance if we could be told we have a chance is very uplifting thankyou.

  • Robot - you could always have a chat to the BLF helpline too. Open during the week 10 - 6pm

    M

  • I think I will do thanks

    Haddent thought about that really

  • Yes I had thought of that as an option

    Thank you for your response

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