Life can be cruel?: I posted a few... - British Lung Foun...

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Life can be cruel?

Aingeful profile image

I posted a few weeks ago telling you all about my eldest daughter Dee who sadly died of pancreatic cancer in April. She was 57. Last night, we found out that my son-in-law(Dee's husband) has also been diagnosed with cancer, He is 58. It started in his bowel and has spread to his liver. The prognosis isn't good. They have three sons and eight grandchilren. I feel devastated for all of them. They have recently lost their mum and now will lose their dad. This has been the year from hell!

94 Replies

How awful for all of you. Life does seem so cruel, you’re right. I expect, grieving for your daughter, he took his eye off his own health. Really tragic. Thank goodness they have you xxx

Life is too cruel dear Aingeful. So very sorry to hear such sad news about your son-in-law. Hoping for a miracle. Love and hugs to you. ❤️❤️

I am so sorry to hear that news, sending virtual hugs, bless you.🤗🤗🤗🤗

What a dreadful time you have all had. I am so sorry. Thank you for posting here. Love and hugs Kate xx

How absolutely dreadful. 2people so young to have such devastation from cancer. Their poor children. I lost my mum when she was 60 and is just too, too young.Thinking of you.

I am so sorry to hear this awful news you and your family are in my thoughts. Life can be so cruel sometimes. Sending love and hugs xx 🤗❤️

I do hope that somehow the prognosis turns out to be wrong and that your son in law and all of your family are spared further misery and sadness,the universe owes you a break and i hope that it pays back.Ski's and Scruff's xx

Thats so unfair isn't it having that happen?

Life can be so unfair!! My heart goes out to you and your family. Xx

Damon1864 profile image

Mm y heart goes out to all of you, what a to ear you have had. To lose one parent is hard enough but knowing your other one is terminally ill is devastating. My thoughts and prayers go out to you you take care. Bernadette and Jack 🐕 xxxxxx

That is unbelievable bad luck or is there some connection one wonders. Just hope someone has made a terrible mistake. xx

I’m so very very sorry. It’s so cruel for the family after the loss of your daughter, the children’s mum, to have to suffer more loss.

This must be so difficult for your family and yourself to deal with, a double blow in such a short time. Yes so very cruel.

Very very sad news for you all as if you all haven’t had enough sorrow. I hope something can be done . Sending love Cx💞

Such sad news Aingeful. Thinking of you all xx

Those are truly devastating news 😟I am am more than sorry to hear this....I am speechless to know what this family is going through, including you.

I really hope that there is some kind of miracle happen that they all can cope with it better with news to come.

Bless them all to keep them safe.


Thank you all for your sympathetic replies.To be honest Don, and I have thought this before.They live in close proximity to Sellafield ,the nuclear power plant. It's not only my daughter and son in law who were affected,one of their sons got testicular cancer and the youngest had bowel cancer as a baby.Sellafield has been in the spotlight before but they have always denied any connection.

"That's my pleasure"...yes,I would like details of the supplements please.

COPD123491 profile image
COPD123491 in reply to Aingeful


I am terribly sorry for all the tragedies that your family has had to go through and can only hope and pray that your son-in-law will recover and that you are spared any other sadness.

As for Sellafield I can remember that about 20 years ago the managers were found to be falsifying records in respect of safety and other regulations. This piqued my interest as, at the time, I was a Quality Manager.

Google "were quality records falsified at Sellafield"

I really, really hope that things take a turn for the better for you and your family. It is human nature that we, on the whole, tend to think that our misfortunes are the worst until we come across someone like yourself who has suffered immeasurably.

My wife's sister has just been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour - having just retired after 40 years working in the local hospital - and I have some small notion of what you are going through. Life is definitely unfair.

Stay strong and remember that you have many friends on this forum who are rooting for you.


If you read the info on Sellafield(used to be called Seascale) it is scary. They not only process our own nuclear waste but other countries waste too. This was a quote from an anonymous whistleblower who used to be a senior manager at Sellafield. He told the Panorama programme that he worried about the safety of the site every day of his life.

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl in reply to Aingeful

My uncle lived near Sellafield when the reactor blew up. The local area was saved from the worst effects of radiation only because the wind was blowing in a different direction that day, off the fells and across the Irish Sea, not from the sea inland. He died in his early forties thirty odd years later from secondary cancer of the spine. The medics never found the primary cancer site.

Life can be so very very cruel sending cyber hugs to you and all the family.

As for Sellafield we used to swim there when I was a child, called Windscale then, my older brother and have auto immune issues always wondered it was due to Sellafield.

Love and hugs



Aingeful profile image
Aingeful in reply to judes

Yes,I think it was Windscale. I don't know where I got Seascale from! I don't think it would be the healthiest place to swim!

I am so very sorry to hear the awful news your family has been given. The words we use on this sort of occasion sounds so trite, but what is there to say at such sad times. It is totally unfair and hard to bear one loss but this is so cruel. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

Dear Aingeful, i am so sorry to hear this. It is so very cruel and my heart goes out to you and your family. Please come amd talk to us anyy time if it would help, we can’t do much practically I know but we can and will support you emotionally.

With love cx

My goodness what cruel blows life has thrown at you and your family.

There is notjing practical i can do for you. But only to offer an ear if you need it. Message anytime ...biggest gentlest hugs

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this .

Life is so cruel and horrible at times.

I wish you all the strength to support and help each other love and hugs 💙💙

How absolutely soul destroying for you all. I am so sorry and hope you will try to stay strong for each other. Sending a gentle hug and kind wishes. Xx

Yet another example of how life is unfair!

We all experience difficult times in our lives like this which make us question why? .But yes, life does seem unfair sometimes. Sometimes experiencing difficult times can make us stronger and more understanding.

Since covid hit I have learned lots of lessons firstly never to take anything for granted again and also how 95% of things in life aren't urgent and important either.

I had some interviews last week and with the first one no one got the job as it has been readvertised and I had gone for a job there a couple of weeks back also no one got the job and it got readvertised and I feel it was a blessing in disguise as it was only temporary anyway.

Yesterday I enjoyed a day out at lido ponty and today I caught up on the washing and stayed home.

garshe profile image
garshe in reply to Catgirl1976

So pleased you had a lovely day out. Sorry you weren't successful in your job interview. My daughter had a few interviews and then found out no vacancies. Waste of time. I'm a firm believer the right one will come along that was meant for you. My daughter Is very happy in her new job now ,the one that was meant for her.After losing her job at BMW where she had worked for 17yrs she was devastated. She is now happier than ever and is happy she was made redundant and it was for a purpose. She would never have left on her own accord but now realises how better off she is .Still in the motor Industry working for Jaguar Landrover and they are amazing. Better hours better pay better work colleagues it was for a,reaso as she deserved better than Sytner BMW who treated their staff appallingly. Good luck and keep your chin up the next one could be the right one. xx🤞🤞🙌👍💕💕Sheila

Catgirl1976 profile image
Catgirl1976 in reply to garshe

I feel not getting those jobs last week was a blessing in disguise as they were only temporary anyway.

garshe profile image
garshe in reply to Catgirl1976

They were not meant for you. The right one will come along for sure. Good luck xxSheila 🙌👍💕

This is so awful and so sad. Sending huge amounts of love and good wishes to you all .

Thanks again for your lovely messages. You are right Roadrunner 44. We were saying this last night. As a family we are a lot stronger after coming through our various traumas!

This is so awful for you all and I'm so very sorry for you and the family. Really hoping your son in law beats this diagnosis. Huge hug to you Aingeful 🤗 ❤

Such terrible news for you and the family, I have lost several members of my family to that horrendous disease but never a mum and dad from one family how terrible sad. Xxx

So sorry 4u and family.hope treatments r helpful xxx

Nothing about cancer is good. All I can offer is my absolute deepest condolences to all , and the thought that the suffering for your daughter and unfortunately likely for her husband as well, will soon be over . All Love. judg69

Hello Aingeful I read your post in utter disbelief. How on earth can this be? It is unthinkable and beyond cruel. I cannot tell you how very sorry I am. I cannot begin to imagine the shock and horror of this and I know my words won't help at all. All I can do is say I wish it was different. Please know we here will support you as best we can, and you have us to help you through, even though we are not physically with you. We are near.

Sending you a gentle hug and all my love.

Cas xx 🥀

So sorry to hear such sad news. My love and thoughts are with you. God bless.

Aingeful I am SO sorry to hear about Dee's husband. What devastating news on top of the loss of Dee. My heart goes out to all the family at this time. Hugs and prayers. 💕

How much more can one family take. My heart really goes out to you and yours xx

Sorry to hear such awful news. My heart goes out to you all. X

What dreadful news for you Aingeful. Life can be so unfair and cruel sometimes.I feel for your grandchildren, to lose their Mum was a terrible blow but now knowing they could lose their Dad also is unbelievable. I lost my best friend to Pancreatic cancer at the age of 59 and then her husband 6 months later. They were both having Chemotherapy at the same time..Also my other friend another Sheila had breast cancer which she beat and was given the all clear. Her husband then had cancer. She was so busy looking after him ,noticed a lump but ignored it . The cancer had returned.She ended up dying first then her husband a few months later. They were both in their 50's .

My heart goes out to you all and I pray for a miracle..We are all here for you .xxSheila 💔😥

Aingeful profile image
Aingeful in reply to garshe

Similar stories Sheila?

garshe profile image
garshe in reply to Aingeful

I know . My friends Daughters have kept in contact with me. They miss their Mum and Dad so much. They never got to meet their grandchildren and see them grow up , so sad. I really feel for you, to lose a child must be devastating and the Grandchildren must be heartbroken.Look after yourself, as your Grandchildren are going to need you.

Sending hugs xxSheila 👍💔

So sorry to read this. Sympathy to all the family. xxx 🧡🧡🧡

How dreadful for them and for you too. No words can suffice to help at times like this. Thinking of your family and praying for a miracle for them. Lots of love to you all. John

Oh, how awful. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

I’m so sorry for your family Aingeful, I’m sure you will all pull together to comfort each other. What terrible news to cope with. Sending good wishes to you.

I am so sorry to hear this news from you today. I'm sending virtual hugs and hope they help ((((( ❤️ ))))) . xx Moy

That's so awful. Your son in law will need a lot of support. I'm sure their sons will rally round. They and you must be devastated. How much heartache can a family take. So sorry Aingeful.


Oh God! I’m so sorry.

This is so awful for you, thank goodness you are there for your grandchildren. I shall be thinking of you and your

I can only echo what others have said; this is so cruel and so soon after Dee’s death too. So sorry to hear this.

Oh Aingeful…Such terribly sad news, so sorry for you and your family.Can’t think of anything I can offer to help but we are all here for you. ♥️

So sorry Aingeful to hear your sad news , life is so tragic for some of us. While others seem to have such simple lives. How are you feeling about all this ?, you sound so strong . Thinking of you & the family why do things never happen in ones I often wonder. Stay strong as you will need to be in the coming months. xx

Thats it isn't it these horrible things always come in the same blow don't they?

Like others I hope the prognosis improves How awful and such a cruel blow for you all. Sending hugs 🤗🤗🤗 XAnita.

So sorry to hear this sad news may your daughter rest in peace and sorry to hear about your son inlaw. Yes life can be so cruel. Sadly our parents loss 3 children before themselves age 3 son and two daughters age 29 and 52 she died from liver cancer and we miss them so much we sadly loss our mom 2 years ago from parkinson and dementia. And our dad who is 87 we are there for him as he is lost without our mom and he is not well himself

Sorry to hear such sad news Aingeful. Sending loving thought to you and all the family. God bless 🙏❤️X

We are all thinking of you we know what your going through be strong for each other and sending lots of hugs and prayers 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Words are insufficient for you or your family at this time.Am holding you in my thoughts and heart.

Oh my goodness how absolutely devastating for you all .I'm sending you all virtual 🤗 .I'm so sorry to be reading this awful news 🌹🌹🌹

So so sad. Life really can be cruel. Hope some treatment can be found to help, at least to make him comfortable and prolong his life x


So very sorry to hear this news Aingeful. Love and hugs x

So sorry. Can only send you a virtual hug. Try and stay strong. Sending prayers for you all.

So sad to read this, you have all had such a hard and traumatic time, I send love to you all.

So very sorry to hear this sad news ,sending you and your family strength to cope in the months ahead. Take care , 🙏🌷x

I am so sorry to hear this, such a tragedy, I am praying 🙏🏻 for you all.

So very sorry for you and your family. So much trauma.

Oh how awful for everyone. I’m so sorry you lost your Daughter and have now had the bad news of your Son in Law.

Absolutely devastating. Especially for the Sons and Grandchildren And you of course having already lost your daughter

So very sorry to hear this sad news Aingeful, my thoughts are with you and your family. Hoping you will find comfort from your friends here on the forum. Sending lots of love to you all xxx ❤️❤️❤️

Omg. That is so sad. Beyond belief that life can be so cruel. Really hope that your son in law has a better outcome than expected. 💕Xx

So very sorry. Prayers and hugs to you.

Words can't express my sorrow at hearing that! My goodness it's an awful world we are living in and some of us need to count our blessings me included. Heartfelt sympathy to you all. X

I am so very sorry to hear this. Please accept my very sincere condolences. My younger sister (just turned 40 also bowel cancer), my father and a very dear auntie all passed within a year. So from experience I know what a difficult time this is for you. Sending you my very best wishes that life will get better for you all soon. ❤️

Catgirl1976 profile image
Catgirl1976 in reply to HiveMind

Please accept my condolences for your losses.

Thats, not fair is it dying from cancer at 40!

At my old job a chap died back in January this year from cancer and was only 41.

I will be praying for a miracle to happen Aingeful, you all deserve to be spared from more sadness. I do hope the prognosis is somehow wrong. Please all do take good care and look after yourselves 🙏XX

I am so very sorry.

Such sad news for you all to cope with.

My heart goes out to you and your family and sincerely hope a miracle happens.

Stay as strong and as supportive as you can be Angieful, but whilst taking great care of yourself too.

You will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers for sure. X

My heart goes out to you Aingeful, what dreadful news to add to your grief.My husband had bowel cancer which had gone to his liver and was told he was terminal. Many operations and chemo’s later and he survived for ten years.

It’s hard, but try to stay strong.

Sending a virtual hug 🤗 Jax🐶x

So so sorry to read this Aingeful, sending thoughts of love and healing for you and all the family at this ver devastating time of great loss. 🌺💖🌺💖🌺💖🌺

Thanks again everyone for your kind concern. Your post (High Gables) was particularly encouraging. I hope we have the same outcome.

Dear Aingeful.I am so sorry for your sad news, yes it is truly cruel. I don't know what to say as words can be empty at such a time. Just my sincere condolences to you and all your family for the sorrow that you are enduring now and that which is still to come. My kindest thoughts to you. Joan x

I’m so sad for you.

That’s awful I just lost my husband 2 weeks ago to pancreatic cancer , how sad I am for you all 😢

Aingeful profile image
Aingeful in reply to Petrie21

So sorry Petrie, I can't imagine what you are going through. The sooner a cure is found the better.

I am so sorry to read that, Aingeful. N I wish I had words to comfort you. Sadly, I don't. 5 members of my once large, Family passed away far to young with this awful, Cruel, thing. I hope and Pray, that one day they will find a cure. My thoughts are with you.

I’m so sorry, Aingeful…The old Greek said “life s hard, and it is often tragic!” This is tragic! I cannot imagine the shock of learning this sad news so soon after l👜your daughter. ❤️

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