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Should my children be going back to school

Dotdashdito profile image
21 Replies

have Bronchiectasis and have struggled badly this year with my health. I have 3 daughters, one finished uni, one meant to have been sitting Highers and a long term foster daughter( I have shared parental rights with the local authority. )

She has lived with us for six years and we adore her and think of her as a full member of our family. I live in Scotland and my middle daughter went back to school on Wednesday, she is now isolating from me on a horse lorry parked to one of my house as we are terrified she brings the virus home. The youngest is 12 years old and I wanted to continue home schooling ( she is totally thriving)due to this and the threat of the virus. Scottish schools have opened with no distancing. I had the support of the social workers and school, but their bosses gave come back and said they want her back at school ASAP! Im so upset and was hoping for some advice, ideas. I am a single parent and am considering using savings to consult a solicitor. Thanks in advance

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Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito
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21 Replies
HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff

I don't understand why you're not being allowed to homeschool your daughter. I too live in Scotland and there are several parents locally who homeschool their children though were doing so before the coronavirus started. But legally I don't know anything about homeschooling, the parents here don't seem to have any problems, maybe because she's your foster daughter the regulations are different though I can't see how.

corriena profile image
corriena

Im gessing its the sheard parental rights bit thats causing the problem. Im sorry but i cant offer any sound advice except maybe ask to apeal, go to the papers, talk to your mp, speak to the school. Make a fuss. I realy do hope you can sort this out. So you can carry on careing for your daughter in a way that is safe and fulfilling for you all.

Corin1950 profile image
Corin1950

The local authority, who have joint care, probably want her back in school as children in care are the most disadvantaged educationally and if she’s out of school for an even longer period there’ll be the worry that she may drop out of education or become a school refuser. They will also think she needs to be back in school to meet her social needs. What does your foster daughter say and what are your longer term plans? Are you wanting to home school just for a short period? She is of high school age and would be studying a wide range of subjects which would be difficult for one person to cover in any depth especially as she gets older. I’m not saying you’re wrong but it isn’t a straight forward decision when looking at her needs. The local authority usually have a Responsible Officer and a person designated for Looked After Children that you could talk to and explain your situation and show that you are meeting her needs educationally with some data and examples of her work without recourse in the first instance to a solicitor.

Let us know how you get on.

X

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito

Thank you so much for all your replies it means so much to me and my daughter! She is sitting beside me right now. She came to me when she was 6 years old with many problems including speech. She is still in Primary school as she started school a year late. She was with a foster carer who abused her from age 3-6 years and the woman was charged by police but never convicted

We have the support of the school and CAMHS, she does not want to go to school in case she infects me. She has PTSD diagnosis and is at risk of developing HD. (Huntington’s disease) I was a business woman before I got ill, with my own business, which I have had to give up due to my illness. We live in country and she has her own pony and has recently been asked to join a local dressage team. She is loving her life! I am going to take your advice, she has asked me to engage a solicitor/lawyer! She was on the young Scot web site and she it says she can engage their services from age 12 years... she turns 12years old on Monday!!! Thanks again guys can’t tell you how much it means to us both

2greys profile image
2greys

I agree, the shared parental rights may be the problem. It may also be a problem with Educational Welfare being obstinate, assuming powers they do not actually have. I don't know if it is the same in Scotland, but in England The wording of the law is "You must provide an adequate education for your child, at school or other means" there is no law that actually says that they have to go to school. You have to send a letter to the school telling them to remove the child from the school register first, that is the only requirement. Obviously with shared parental rights this is a lot more involved and difficult.

When we decided to home school our son Educational Welfare tried to be officious and lever themselves into our lives, issuing big long forms that were the size of a pamphlets, insisting they had the right to enter our home and generally trying to be obstructive. A very sharply worded letter outlining the law, telling them to stop harassing us and to disappear up their own exhaust pipe put a stop to it. Education Welfare officers are not educationally trained at all, just glorified social workers.

There are self-help parenting organisations for home schooling around who might be able to help and advise you. Below are some Home Schooling resources for Scotland.

duckduckgo.com/?q=Home+scho...

What I will say, from experience, is that homeschooling, especially elective homeschooling, can be very successful for the child. Our son, who has Asperger's, passed 7 O levels, has his independence, supports himself and lives in his own flat. He had an "adequate education" which the Law Lords have defined as meaning "preparing one for adult life". As you probably already know Home Education is not hard at all, especially if when the child wants to learn.

Unfortuanatly you may ultimately have to go to court to gain a parental order, full parental rights/adoption, where the court has to take the wishes of the child into consideration as well.

I wish both you and "your daughter" the very best of luck and success with this. Just because Home Education is unconventional, it does not mean it does not work.

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to 2greys

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your experience and advice! I am contacting a lawyer today and my MP

2greys profile image
2greys in reply to Dotdashdito

Good for you, do not let them steamroller you. By fighting back you are actually showing your love, concern and commitment towards "your daughter" and will not take the easy option of rolling over. All power to you.

There needs more discussion here than a simple dictat from a distant authority level that your daughter should go back to school. Your needs have to be taken into consideration. I don’t know the system but suggest that maybe your GP could help to explain to the authority that you could be at risk from your daughter bringing the virus home. As her single parent they should not be running the risk of you being hospitalised and unable to care for her. Why not use your social workers to lodge an official objection to the authority’s demand whilst also lodging a request for an explanatary meeting with these people I’m sorry that I can’t be of much help but do think that the faceless ‘bosses’ are acting unethically.

2greys profile image
2greys in reply to

There is also a financial penalty, for the council. They get a grant to educate every "registered pupil", by removing the child from the school register that grant is also being removed. In today's capitalist society, it is all about the money, not a nice thing to have to say, but true.

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to 2greys

Couldn’t agree more! I am finding all of replies very motivational and inspiring!

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to

Thank you little Pom, I have often read your posts and replies and very much appreciate your input

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to

Thanks very much, I intend to use some or your wording when constructing my next communication with them!

in reply to Dotdashdito

Good luck. Do let us know how it is going.x

peege profile image
peege

What a predicament! I cannot help at all except to say in England we'd need a specialist lawyer/solicitor/ barrister with experience of going against social services - and proper advice. A close family member had to get legal advice from lawyer experienced in winning cases against the police her in England. A consultation and letter to police cost over £4000. It was worth it though at the time. They later had to get another lawyer experienced in winning cases against social services and safeguarding. Very expensive, I think they used credit cards at the time.

Here high street solicitors are closing due to lack of legal aid cases - hopefully that's not the case in Scotland.

I don't envy you at all and wish you all the luck in the world. P x

Bunny_Ears profile image
Bunny_Ears

I am in the same predicament as you. My child should be starting Year 2 next month, but I am terribly scared of sending her in because I have bronchiectasis. In fact, I just got a letter from school with a transition leaflet ("this is where you will sit", "this is how your new classroom will look like" etc.) and I just burst into tears on the spot and was struggling to breathe! That letter brought on anxiety attack. I would probably consider home schooling, but we live separately from her father and if I fail to send her in, I am sure he would start giving me hard time. Besides, I am a jobseeker, so I will also have to deal with the Job Centre and fear being sanctioned. I really don't know what to do, it is all so terrifying.

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to Bunny_Ears

I am so sorry to hear that you are in the same position as me! It is however nice to know that we are not alone. I think it is bad that the government have not put special measures in place for people like us.

I have spoken on the phone to Children’s rights and you could do the same. If you make your child aware of the situation without over explaining that would be good. I would also get a lawyer for yourself as you will get legal aid. Keep in touch, these messages have really helped me 😊

Bunny_Ears profile image
Bunny_Ears

I wish Boris at least didn't make attendance compulsory while the pandemic is on. I feel powerless. I will be scared to hug or kiss my child for fear she may have picked up the virus at school. Not to mention, we live in overcrowded conditions, so there would be no option even to isolate.

Do you mind telling me what Children's Rights are, what do they do? Is it an NGO? I have not heard of it before.

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito in reply to Bunny_Ears

Children’s rights Alliance England may well be able to help you. I would give them a call ASAP

Bunny_Ears profile image
Bunny_Ears in reply to Dotdashdito

Thank you, will look them up.

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito

Thank you so much for your reply. I think you are absolutely right and I am going to get a lawyer ASAP

Dotdashdito profile image
Dotdashdito

I will let everyone know how I get in. I had my social worker shouting at me down the phone this morning. She made my daughter cry by telling her to calm down when she was perfectly calm, and laughing at her when she said she was getting a lawyer. I don’t think they will be laughing for long!

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