British Lung Foundation

48,062 members • 57,140 posts

Parting is such a (sweet) sorrow (R & J Act 2, scene 2, 176–185)

Good evening friends,

I would like to start by saying I think the world of this forum and everyone in it. The most common comment we get when new friends join us is how nice, warm and welcoming this forum actually is. And apart from some very rare, unfortunate occasions, I must say I heartily agree.

Although all of us contribute, and go to great lengths to help each other, there is someone I particularly have in mind who I fear we are about to lose. And seriously now people, this would be a huge blow to our community. For few have as much knowledge , experience or understanding of this particular lung disease than this member. She being so very well acquainted with it and it's horrible traits having lived with it since childhood.

So tonight I read through some of the (literally) hundreds of replies contributed by her, and the replies in turn to her written by so many desperately ill people who have benefited from her source of extraordinary knowledge. The sense of relief in each reply was so palpable and recognizable, because each of us was once new here, afraid, alone, looking for answers, help, camaraderie, comfort, acceptance and above all kindness. I won't be naming names (I don't think I need to) nor will I reply to any potential comments (not my place) , but I am hoping you will join me in sending out an appeal to assure her she is very much needed and valued.

My friend,

One day a while back , a worried individual came here to seek advice, which you duly and kindly gave her. At the end of it you added the quote above. Please forgive my editing, but now I am turning your advice back to you.

Please stay.

With love and respect for you.

Cas xx 🌹

87 Replies

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Beautiful words. Hope your friend stays have a good night and take care of yourself 😊 Bernadette xx

Thank you Bernadette. xx ❤️

Why do you think we are about to lose someone Cas?

I'm sorry C. I am not at liberty to go into details. I will just say I know for certain.

Hope it’s just a break then. Lots feel the need to take a break.

P.S. Hint in the title. 😊

I appreciate who you are talking about. Not lost my marbles yet 😉

Confused .com of Manchester backs this warm hearted appeal to the lady mentioned and hopes when others also do she will take heed of her own advice and hang on in here ,don't go the party has just begun and if necessary we will employ a bouncer to keep the guests happy. x

Ah the penny has dropped after your reply to Cof and now i am the all knowing one and refuse to let this bird flee the nest. x

Glad you know Skis. You can see my concern. It is simply abhorrent that any one should feel bulldozed out. Someone who spends a great deal of time trying to help others in practical ways with tried and tested knowledge and not just through pontification. We need people like this. So, I am very sad. I hope you are well my friend.xx 👋😁🐱🐕

I think the person we are talking about has sufficient strength of character to step back for a while and take stock of events and hopefully return in full swing so speak in the near future.i would be very surprised and disappointed if they didn't. xx

Me too. I truly hope so.

I don't know who you are referring to and respect you not saying so publicly.

Can I just say I totally support your appeal to this lady - clearly lovely to have inspired your admiration - to stay. The world and especially this forum needs kind, caring and knowledgeable people. PLEASE don't go!

🌸🌿😁🌸🌿👏Thank you 🌸🌿😁🌿👋

I think I know who the lady in question is, and the thought of not having her in our group breaks my heart. WE NEED YOU AND VALUE YOUR VIPS (very important posts)

😭⭐️

I think I know who this is and will be messaging her very soon. We cannot lose such a lovely lady who is a fountain of knowledge. I trust she will stay and not allow anything or anyone to drive her away.

Cas you are right not to mention any names as that’s not allowed.

Thank you for your very kind and caring post. Your a star. Xxx 😘💖💝

Your postings are always considered and well thought out. So to whom ever this was dedicated to ..... I thank them.

I thank also all of those, who post, read, whether contributing or not.

It's ok I'm not leaving but I often do take a break, good to come back to a freshstart.

Well I could say “Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!” But it wouldn’t be true because if it’s who I think it is the loss would be too great and no reason could possibly justify taking that action.

It would be really a terrible loss. Thank you Don. xx

I feel for her & Understand. After Years of Consoling everyone. The forum is a Great Place and sometimes, very sad. Have a Rest Sweetie & later maybe come back refreshed, We all, in our own way help contribute with our Words of comfort to each other.( Like me, My words are not Articulate). We need to rest sometimes. Love n Hugs. C. XXX

You personally know this scenario too Carolina, thank you for voicing your support. I so appreciate it. xx 💓

If it is who I think it is then I must just say this, please reconsider because when I first came on this site you gave me such good information which really helped, I thought at last someone who really understands my disease and how to deal with it. If you leave who will inform the next person who comes on here with no info, how to deal with it and what to do in certain situations.

I do understand your reasoning and all I ask is go away for a while and see what you think in a couple of months. If you decide to stick to your guns and leave then I wish you all the best and thank you so much for the help you gave me in such a worrying time. Xx 😥

You are right Patsy, she did welcome you and as usual, gave you well thought out advice. And she encouraged you to be proactive in your care. Thank you for your support for her now. xx 🙋💓

Hi Cas I think if she can have a break from the forum for a while she may hopefully change her mind. 🙏

Hope you are ok and Chom is doing well bless him xx

I agree. I think I know who it is, because I believe she helped me when I needed it. Hope she takes a break, but comes back soon.

Me too. xx 😊

Hello Cas. Sadly being only with this wonderful group 6 months. I do not know who you are referring to. But i do hope this person Stays with the group so that if they ever need a listening hear or words of wisdom we will be there to repay all the help they have given to others. We need to be there for each other Brian

You do know Brian. You definitely know. xx 😁

Cas you are so thoughtful of others. You really are. I think I've a certain person in mind but not 100% sure. In any event when you post an item like this, we know that this is a member we will sorely miss and hopefully she'll hang on and stay or maybe just have some time off?

Sending hugs to our unknown member!!! 🐿💕

I really hope so too SquirrelsHolt . Thank you for your kind support. xx 💕

Well, this truth had to surface at some point....Cas, I am a bit (more than a bit, really) dense. IOW: I don't have a clue who this could be, but I sure hope they will stay. J

💓😘 xx

I do apologize for having no clue as to whom you are speaking of but I do hope there’s not a lot of physical pain for your person as well as I do feel care and concern and if in some far off way I can help somehow please just ask. Thank you for sharing- kiss Chom for me😘

Many thanks Sandyeggo . xx 😊

Don’t go, please, we need you and your support and your encyclopaedic knowledge.

Kate and a very sad Zebra xxx

Agreed. Thank you Kate. xx ❤️

Hi, think I know who you are referring to, her advice is (to my mind) more knowledgeable than most GP's or even most Consultants. She knows what we are going through & can almost get into our mind to see the problem through our eyes. I hope she will stay but if not, just have a break & maybe a nice relaxing holiday & come back & kick some more ass. Take care & pass on my thoughts & wishes & hugs. Missing you already

Thank you Ilovebunnies . xx 🦋

Yes . Amen to all the above. I hope it's just a break for our dear friend Take care xx

Thank you dickinson1954 . xx 😊

I have had so much help and support from this forum and I'm sure that I'll need loads more. I have no idea of your friends name but we need members like her.Sending love to you both.xx

Thank you very much Aingeful . xx ❤️

I too don't know who you are talking about Cad, but I support your comments and feelings. I hate it when people are 'drummed out' by others. Each and every one of us has a right to be here and give our views (apart from trolls) so I do hope the individual concerned will overcome any negativity she has been subjected to and stay to give her wonderful insight that we have obviously all benefitted from x

I hope so too Dedalus . It would be a huge loss to everyone especially the Bronchs on this site. xx 🦋

Oh no! I think I now know who you mean. If she left that would be so sad, and she would be a huge loss to everyone on this site. I hope she reads some of these posts and knows how badly she would be missed. Fingers crossed it doesn't come to that. Thank you for bringing this to our attention Cas x

😘 xx

Well, I hope our friend isnt leaving and just taking a break, we need people like her on this site, if she is reading then she will know just how we feel x

I hope so Izb1 . I can only hope and try. xx ❤️

Caspiana , whatever it is that has caused this dear member to want to leave. I am so sorry that has happened to her. I hope that she will be encouraged by the supportive comments of so many and continue to be a part of this forum. Our love and thanks for all the support she has given to so many.

Thank you illawarra . xx ❤️

This lady is for me, someone who has given me the strength to be quietly strong while trying to work out the things I need to do to make myself "better". Her advice, which has been both polite and accurate, and her encouragement, have been a turning point for me and I would like to say thank you more than you can know. I only hope that maybe from these messages she will see that she is making a difference to people, even if she may not realise it at the time. Hoping it's just a small break and not a permanent one but understanding too. Thank you Caspiana for raising it and please pass on my thanks to this lovely lady for giving me the strength I needed.

I hope she's reading too LizzieWizz . Thank you. xx ❤️

I also am in the dark concerning your lady friend. I hope it wasn't me as i can be a bit of a bore at times. Do stay, whoever you are. This community is a great support system. Thanks Caspiana for alerting us to this sad event.

Nooo, not you at all Cateran . Your posts are anything but boring. xx 😊

Sure hope Stone is ok, and hopefully someone here is in touch with him to update us. I agree Stone did indeed contribute a huge amount to this forum over many years.

I agree . Stone's advise has been and always will be very sought after. Recently we have had a post inquiring after Stone. I tagged Stone in it, but there was no response. I hope everything is okay too. We can only hope for the best.

She had her disease Bronchiectasis since she was a small child and is now in her seventies. So yes, although not a medical doctor, has quite a bit of knowledge having worked along side medical professionals to better understand the disease. Please don't hijack my post and try to put it down. Much appreciated. 😊

Reading the answers to this post I am confused. From one answer I got the impression this person was forced out.

Shakespeare may have said "The antagonist should have been forced from this forum, not your friend. I say "confused" because why??

Well, I will just say unpleasant circumstances and ill handling of a sensitive situation made her feel so frustrated she felt she had contemplate leaving. I'm still hoping she'd change her mind. xx 👋

I used to run a cricket forum years ago, things got heated and moderators would step in and warn the offender three times and then a ban. I also ran a FB Brexit page and people who did not agree with my posting would openly say, C**** page am leaving and they would. I suppose they was frustrated but it is different with "unpleasant circumstances" - That can be nasty and I can see your friends reason for leaving - my point was the person(s) who caused the "unpleasant circumstances" should have been booted out.... I wish you well and hope your friend changes his/her mind.. tell your friend to ignore hurtful people...There should be a function what allows you to not have contact with people out for trouble and argument..

Hello Ern 👋

I believe there has been several slaps on the wrist which prove to be ineffective. I suppose it's difficult for some to show a little patience and benevolence. It's so easy to be flippant for another's feelings when hidden behind a computer screen and not staring them in the face. I suspect a lot of inner anger and frustration and perhaps some sadness can cause people to take it out on the person they cannot see and will never have to face in real life. It takes all kinds to make a world and even our lovely BLF group. I hope you are doing well and thank you for your reply. 😊xx 🦋🌿🦋

Its all inuendos if you ask me Ern007. I have concluded from what is being said the person is choosing to leave, they are not being forced out.

I agree Bkin - If it is "inuendos" then that is hard to moderate, if not impossible. but if you are right, some people will react to inuendos by leaving which is a fine line between leaving and being forced to leave... Personally I would ignore any inuendo - It would be wasted on me. and most people I believe.

Its just the individuals choice. Inuendos Best ignored I agree.

Unknown to me Redsox. plenty on this post have shown support even when they don't know who the person is, which shows a very kind group of people.

I hope you have managed to persuade your friend of the value they are to this site. We need more people like them not less. I hope they can see the good they do on hear,and not listen to the few people who are not considerate enough to see the help they are.

Thank you Kitten-kat23 . xx 😊

oh I see, we all have a lot of experience to share with one another and its good to have the variety of experiences. If it is littlepom perhaps she is just having a bad day and need some acknowledgement, that she is helpful to others as well.

Hope whoever it is, is feeling better soon.

I have absolutely no idea who you might be talking about. Sorry they are so down, this site surely depends on all contributions provided they stick to the guidelines. It would be a shame to lose a contributor, especially one that has built up an excellent reputation for being helpful and caring

I hope it wasn't something I said that caused problems. 😕☹️

Your reputation is intact!

Noooo, not you at all Hidden . xx 😊

Thank you stamford1234 . xx 🦋

I think I know as a fellow Bronch. Even though I used to be a nurse on respiratory ward I valued her advise when diagnosed with B'ectasis as it's very different when it's your own health. Such a knowledgeable lady an advocate indeed x

Yes, shouty , that's why I felt so compelled to post. xx 😔

And thank you for doing that x

Hopefully this person will stay. 🐞

I really hope so. xx 🦋

I hope she stays, such a knowledgeable kind and helpful lady. You are also a kind knowledgeable lady Caspiana and I admire your loyalty and your stamina replying to these posts all day.

Thank you Mooka . xx 👋😊

I don't really understand what has happened here and I am not comfortable with not having some clarity of the situation. There have been many replies Cas. which show the concern of our members.

I, personally don't remember anyone posting something unpleasant or replying in an inappropriate manner. However, if something like that has happened and has upset a member, surely the best thing to do is to get to the bottom of what may well be a misunderstanding on both parts.

Of course we don't want a member to leave under such a cloud It needs airing and rectifying so that both parties and the rest of us can move on as before. We all make mistakes but sometimes need the opportunity to put right any misunderstandings we may have made. As in this particular case.

I have only been a member since last June and have gradually over time learnt a bit about many of you. In fact you are all like family to me. The Forum is quite unique and provides a lifeline to many of us. We share our worries, our illnesses, anger, frustrations, surprise. All of these and more. Each one of you contribute to making it what it is. By losing just one member will be like losing a member of the family. This cannot be allowed to happen. So..........

What on earth has happened ? I, for one feel so very, very sad that a member has been hurt enough that she feels she has to leave us! How can this be? We are all under a cloud and things have to be put right.

We all make mistakes and a simple apology could well be the simple answer to this uncomfortable problem. An apology costs nothing and will mean so much to everyone. Let's not forget, life is short, so, be kind to one another and lets try to make our time here as pleasant as we can.

Sent with the best of intentions. Chrys x

Hello Chrys, ,👋

I wish I could elaborate, but I cannot, for I don't want to cause any unnecessary strife. . Anyway, the main point of my post is to try and encourage her to stay on and continue her good work here. But in the end that's her decision. xx 😊

Is there anything I can do to help?

No, I don't think so Chrys. I have failed in my attempt. But hopefully she will have a break and return to us soon. Thank you. xx 😘

Dear Cas,if you have further contact with our hidden friend please pass on our best wishes and desire for her to return,Scruff's has lost that twinkle in her eye for the time being. xx

Hear Hear Carino. XXX

I am trying xx 😊👋