Grandma's Toilet.: I never like Grandma... - Lung Conditions C...

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Grandma's Toilet.

29 Replies

I never like Grandma's toilet

When I was a little lad

I never liked to use it

But sometimes I just had

It had all sorts of gadgets

Like a walking frame around

And a very strange squirty thing

How it worked I never found.

I never used it to sit on it

It might just suck me down

And anyway on that throne

I'd need to wear a crown

I still remember Grandma

And softly say her name

When go into my bathroom

Cos my toilets just the same.

29 Replies
SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt

Good morning Mr.D and I'm so sorry I've only been pressing the "like" button for the past few days but ive had a bad chest infection and not wanting to go into hospital, i had all the meds nebuliser etc(no iv drips obviously)so couldn't see the point of possibly getting Sepsis or whatever, when i can be cared for at home.

So more importantly i loved yours and Midges Teeth Trouble rhyme. As for Grandma's Toilet ..... we must be related as you are describing my Grandma and her "odd" toilet - odd speaking as would a 5-8year old. Good old Grandma 🧓and she had the loo rolls hidden under a hand knitted lady with a full skirt!!!

Hope you are both staying dry and warm 🐿💞

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to SquirrelsHolt

Hope you’re feeling better SH. Xxx

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt in reply to sassy59

Oh sassy59 you are always the first to send good wishes and I'm glad to recieve them especially as I'm definitely on the mend. There was no point burdening the NHS with finding me a bed when i had all the medication they would have used, here at home and a Nurse came out to take the usual obs etc. Thank you for your kind words. 🐿💞x

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to SquirrelsHolt

You’re very welcome and totally right of course. I’m pleased to hear you’re feeling better. X 😘💕💐

in reply to SquirrelsHolt

I'm very grateful for 'likes' SH, but replies are better and I thrive on your support. 😉 I'm sorry you have been under the weather. I think the weather and the bleak time of the year has a lot to do with it. I feel the same as you about hospitals, I'm pretty sure I will never get out alive if I'm taken there. I'm not sure I would get any care at home though, Midge and I will probably decompose together.

HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff in reply to SquirrelsHolt

I hope you start feeling better soon Squirrel 🥜 🐿

CDPO16 profile image
CDPO16

Better than the long drop at the end of the back yard!

Spacecat1 profile image
Spacecat1 in reply to CDPO16

Remember the outside toilet and the bucket in the corner that my gran used to take upstairs every night. My bum being sore from the izal paper my nan insisted on using.

CDPO16 profile image
CDPO16 in reply to Spacecat1

Izal. Whoever thought that was a good idea!

Spacecat1 profile image
Spacecat1 in reply to CDPO16

My brother and me used it as tracing paper.

CDPO16 profile image
CDPO16 in reply to Spacecat1

Good idea. About all it was fit for.

My poor old granny's toilet

was at the top of the yard.

She struggled to walk

and wobbled a bit

which meant having a wee quite hard.

Now I'm a poor old granny

with two toilets

I'm proud to admit,

one upstairs for bedtime

and one down the hall a bit.

in reply to

Sorry, that was rubbish. 😠

WheezyAnne profile image
WheezyAnne in reply to

Well I liked it very much, and thank you for the entertainment.

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to

Not rubbish at all Kath. Xx🥰

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl in reply to

The ending reminded me of the poet in that Frankie Howerd TV comedy years ago.

in reply to Ergendl

The wonderful thing is you can still see that again (in colour) thanks to uTube:

youtube.com/watch?v=kWSt7M8...

Pantani profile image
Pantani

You deserve to be "flushed with pride" for that ode Don. 😁👍. Your ability with words never ceases to amaze.

BreatheasyBe profile image
BreatheasyBe

Oh Don that’s brought back memories for me. Isle of Barra -my grampas house inside toilet was a chair with seat removed with a bucket underneath where the seat should be. Whoever was up last had to empty it -in the only working loo witch was outside the house. The childhood holiday smells and spillages all coming back to haunt me now.

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

No grandmas but an uncle who had an outside toilet which I absolutely hated. Creepy with spiders from what I recall.

Hope you’re having a good day Don. Xxxxx

skischool profile image
skischool

With that amusing rhyme i shall call you Master Poo

Are there really no subjects that you will not stoop to do?

Forget Iris,s Sunday poems they really are quite tame.

Because when Don,s about you know he puts the litary world to shame .

😊😻 on the loo x

knitter profile image
knitter

I am glad my toilet is not the same as my grandmas for sure in this Storm Dennis.....a choice of the outside ‘ Ty Bach ‘ in the garden or the commode on the landing . Newspaper squares included.

She did in the end get a council house with inside and outside facilities .

Izb1 profile image
Izb1

Oooh the thought of running down the yard to the outside loo scared the pants of me, it always had spiders aaarghx

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

Know where you’re coming from

joyce74 profile image
joyce74

My parents had an outside loo next to the air raid shelter. In the winter my mother used to put in a paraffin heater to take some of the chill away and give a little light.

Johnsel profile image
Johnsel

That brought back memories of my Grandads bungalow deep in the country, no electric, gas mantles for light and the outside loo, portable with newspaper squares for toilet roll and plenty of spiders. How did they do it in those days? Great poem Don as always. Take care Carole x

Jomo46 profile image
Jomo46

You make us all remember Don. Keep it up. My memory was visiting grandparents about age three. Their toilet was high. After use I had to reach the chain which meant climbing to stand on the seat. The seat slipped and I ended up with a cut leg in the pan. Squeals brought parents and rescue. The chain was lengthened with string, and a small step produced but memories have stayed. They lived in Rhos on sea and their upstairs lounge overlooked the beach. We spent many an hour with binoculars watching birds, people and weather.

Thanks Don

Xx jo

Corin1950 profile image
Corin1950

Dear Don

You have an amazing ability to write about the mundane in such a way that it hits the nail on the head.

Supportive as I am for my husband’s illnesses I do get fed up and complain about my house looking like ‘a nursing home’ with a wheel chair, a walker and in the bathroom a shower stool and a shower chair. All necessary and he knows I don’t really mean it. You just have to forget about that cool interior design vibe.

I’m glad you wrote above that you prefer replies to likes and I’m sure others feel the same. I shall try to up my replying statistics.

Take care

Love

Corin

X

watergazer profile image
watergazer

Great stuff yet again Don. The toilet I hated most of all as a child was the one on a cousins farm in Ireland - the barn where you squatted and did your business and hoped the geese didn’t peck your bottom !!

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