Dee: Update on my lovely daughter who... - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation

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Update on my lovely daughter who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in December and went through a 10 hour operation to remove the tumour. She went for a follow up scan last week to check on her progress. She got the results yesterday.Unfortunately the cancer has spread to her liver and she has been given 3 to 6 months to live. I feel like my world has blown apart,I am devastated,how do I cope with this?

32 Replies

I am so sorry Dee. I really don’t know how you cope with this. I am going through it for the fourth time at the moment. This time with my closest friend. Having it happen to your daughter is just against the order of nature isn’t it. It’s supposed to be us first. The only thing that I can suggest is to make it all about her, not you. To concentrate all of your efforts on helping to ease her way through.

We are here for you to share your feelings when you need to,24 hrs of the day and I am sure that everybody else will be thinking about you and holding your hand.

Much love.

I am so sorry to hear this news. I have no idea how you're supposed to cope with that. Be there for your daughter, and with her, I suppose. And we will be here for you. Not that we can make things any better for you. But we can be here for you.

That’s the sort of awful news nobody should hear, least of all such a devoted mum.

Dee will need you now more than ever so just do what you have to do.

Thinking of you all and holding out for a miracle.

Love and hugs xxx 😘

OH Ange, I feel so sad for you darling. I have my Daughter arrive Tomorrow,(not seen her since 1 year ago Physically) I shall give her The Longest Cuddle ever, she did get through her cancer, But it is still a worry in case it comes back, always at the back of my mind. My Loving Wishes are to you & Dee, & Your family. Lots of Heartfelt Cuddles to You Hun. XXXX C.

You need loadsof strength toget through this awful time.

In the short term,book a couple of short breaks away or a spa break,have a bit of fun,make memories.

You need to google,see what practical support and help is available in your area..

Contact the pancreatic or cancer charities tosee what’s available In your area .

Make a list and work through it.its hard to think straight at times like these.

Seeifshe feels upto going out,if she doesn’t feel hungry,she could just have a starter.

Hope these suggestions help a thoughts are with you

I am really sorry to hear of your daughters news each day as it comes and always to the full .

If you ever need to rant or shout I'm sure everyone will be here for you 💞💞💞

I am so sorry to hear this devastating news - it's a kick in the heart for you all. I can't think of anything that will ease the pain you're feeling now. But we are here for you whenever you want us and will be thinking of you. With much love, Annie xx

Hello Aingeful. What a terribly sad situation. I feel for you and your family. As for coping with it, there is no template - everyone is different in how they handle serious health problems.

From my experience I would say get as much help and support as you can. Talk about your feelings - it does help. Do not try to bear this on your own. Remember that your emotions might change from one minute to the next and that this is normal. Try to concentrate on your daughter and making her final months as comfortable as possible. She needs your love and support now and it will help you when she is no longer here. These are precious moments.

Please keep posting and you might find the Care Community forum helpful at this time.

So sorry Aingeful love and prayers to you and your daughter 💕💕x

So sorry Aingeful. Lots of love and hugs


I'm so very sorry to hear such awful and upsetting news, it must be so hard. to take in. Your daughter must be devastated bless her, but I hope she keeps fighting as I'm sure she will. I've no doubt that you and. Her family and friends will give her all the love a nice d support you can . Please remember we are all here to help you through this. We can listen to you ranting and raving or just a chat we will give you support you need. Take care of yourself and your family 🤗 xxxx Bernadette

Awful news Aingeful,The love you show your daughter is about the only thing in life that this awful disease can't steal from you so just continue giving it in abundance but also give her plenty of space to breathe and make her own decisions as to what she wants to do with her remaining time with you all.

Love Ski's and Scruff's x

So sad to hear about your lovely daughter Aingeful, we are praying hard for both of you, with much love & God bless you both...xxxx Primrose123

The more I see of it the more I see it can be a very cruel world I am so touched by your post and all I can do is to let you know that myself and all on this forum will be thinking of you xxx

Dear Aingeful

Oh my goodness sweetheart this must have come as such a dreadful shock following the positivity following your dear Daughter’s surgery. No wonder you are devastated and the truth is I don’t know how you cope sweetheart, although not only do you both look like peas in a pod, I expect Dee is a chip off the old block. From what you have told us and even from looking at her beautiful ‘photo I can see what a srong young woman your daughter is and how proud of her you must be.

Please know lovely lady we are all here for you, holding your hand.

With love to you both


Excuse my language , but this is a crock of s...., we are not expected to survive our children like this. It is one thing to accept ones own mortality but to survive ones own children is so very cruel. I just cannot realise just how you feel over this news.

So sorry. We lost our son aged 18 years. He was due to start university and his world fell apart we made it all about him friends sending messages his favourite teachers too he had just finished 6th form. So really feel your pain. Will say prays for you both tomorrow. Be best you can.

Caspiana in reply to Spacecat1

I'm so sorry Spacecat. xx

Aingeful in reply to Spacecat1

So tragic.My thoughts and prayers go out to you too.xx

Izb1 in reply to Spacecat1

Im so sorry to hear such sad news Spacecat x

Dear Aingeful,

I’m so very sorry to hear this awful news about Dee & really can’t begin to imagine how you’ll cope - none of us are ‘programmed’ for this role especially with our own children.

It’s just too sad for words, my thoughts & love are with you both. X

This is awful news for you and your family. So very sorry to hear this. The love you share as a family will be so important to your daughter and yourself now. Good wishes to you all.

Hello dear Aingeful.

I have no words to console you , this is just so shocking and devastating for you all. Is she going for a second opinion? I think it's worth seeking another opinion? Take it a day at a time. I have no doubt your family will unite during this dreadful time, and hold you both through this. Please know we are here anytime for you, albeit in our limited capacity. I am thinking of you and your dearest Dee, you are both in my heart.


Cas xx 🦋

I'm so sorry for you both, sending you love and hugs (((💗))) xx

My brother went through the same and we lost him in November. He was only 57 and has so much love to give

I have never coped with his loss but tried to make his last few months about him. Does she have.a.bucket list with something he could do in it . If it makes her happy it will help you.

I don't know you can cope because everyone is different. It is hard to watch someone you love.die. I hope you get through this terrible ordeal and will be thinking of you and your sister

So sorry for you don’t no wot to say even those like my self have been there you just have to carry on even no mater haw Much your Hart is broken Life can b so cruel keep strong x

So sorry to hear your news Aingeful, take one day at a time and talk openly. We are all here for you, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter x

I am so sorry. I have no suggestions but please know we are all here for you 🐞

I am so sorry to hear your news. There is little I can say that could possibly comfort you. The only thing you can do is make as many good memories as you can for all of you. They will become so precious in the dark days. Feel free to have a rant on this forum too - if you want to private message me - even if to let of steam, feel free

Feel so sad for you both. Love and hugs .xx

So sorry to read about this awful diagnosis for Dee. Praying that she will be able to fight this successfully, and for strength for you both as you face it.

I'm so sorry.Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

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