Jack hadn't seen his grandad for years so made the effort and visited the 90-year-old who lived out in the country with just basic facilities. On the first morning of the visit, grandad prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs and Jack noticed a film-like substance on his plate so he asked, "Grandad, are these plates clean?" His granddad replied, "They're as clean as my cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal."
For lunch, Grandad did sausage and mash. Again, Jack was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on the rim. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked. Without looking up, Grandad said, "I told you before, they're as clean as my cold water can get them!"
Later, as Jack was leaving, his grandad's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.
Jack said, "Grandad, your dog won't let me get by!" Grandad shouted to the dog, "Cold Water, go and lie down!"