Lost it: Am 50 years young with heart... - Lung Conditions C...

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Lost it

unluckyto profile image
48 Replies

Am 50 years young with heart failure ejection fraction is 4% and copd and cluster headaches and above all that I lost the plot st the weekend and said some reall horrible things to my best mate who has saved my life on more than three occasions and I feel so ashamed of myself for having said some right untidy things and I have no ideas how to repair this situation so if your wiser than me please give a old school guy a bit of advice Stu

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unluckyto
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48 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Oh dear Stu, sounds like things have really gotten to you. The song goes “sorry seems to be the hardest word” but try it.....you never know.

Good luck. Xxxx

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to sassy59

Just did

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to unluckyto

👍 xx

He sounds to be a very good friend so probably understands already. Referring to the 3 times he’s saved your life you could say he probably won’t be doing it a fourth time after that. 🙄

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to

Lol it’s a she 26 half my age and I feel like a right tit edd I feel ashamed

in reply to unluckyto

Oh that’s bad. You are a right tit! I think this is an on your knees job with tears 😭

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana

We all do things we regret. I'd make a heartfelt apology, and perhaps get something nice that she'd appreciate. But above all, never , ever do it again. Good luck. xx 🍀

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to Caspiana

Thanks I would give her the world

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana in reply to unluckyto

😂 😊

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to Caspiana

Hi Cas--good to see you--It has been a while--Im in pulmonary rehab--FINALLY!! and hopin for the best--Blessings,MmeT

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana in reply to madametobacco49

Hello madametobacco49 . 😊

I am so terribly sorry for my late reply. It completely slipped my mind. I am so happy you have started pulmonary rehab. Good for you!! Keep going and I hope you have a good weekend. xx 🙋🌷

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to Caspiana

Doing better everyday--and hope this finds you the same-MmeT

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto

And the stars

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto

And the universe

in reply to unluckyto

All we can do is torture you so badly that she takes pity on you.

I let my mouth get out of hand yesterday to my kids. I’m in the wasting stage of alpha one emphysema. Tried to pick up a heavy object and heard a pop. Detached my bicep tendon from my elbow. So I get the choice of surgery and unpaid off work 3 months or power through and keep my insurance to buy my expensive inhalers and meds. So I shot off and told my kids it’s been a drag raising kids. Like working at a quarry breaking rock giving all my money to my kids for college etc, and when they are finally successful they keep all their money!

At least you apologized. I’m not there yet!

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana in reply to

I'm sorry about your injury Hidden . I hope you make it up with your children soon. xx 🌼

in reply to Caspiana

Oh they will be fine. I already received a picture from them all as a group today. They know they need to step up!

JANET127 profile image
JANET127

You have a heart failure ejection fraction of 4%! What! Is that a mis print? Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

No. Why u ask

JANET127 profile image
JANET127 in reply to unluckyto

Oh my! I didn't know it could go that low! I am at 45%. Chemo damaged my heart. Do you have any energy at all? Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

Was 10% for long time was fine think I got used to it over time but at four it’s hard to except the inevitable outcome

JANET127 profile image
JANET127 in reply to unluckyto

Thank you for explaining this to me! I am sorry for your troubles with your mate. I stay single, its easier that way for me! Words hurt and after you say them, they are always remembered and there's no taking them back. It is verbal abuse. I also was verbally abused and I could also use verbal abuse. I was raised in it! Own your verbal abuse..tell her...now that you know what it is....that you will work on it! There are many great books on it and also there are sites on the Internet to help! Hope this helps! Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

I think your overthinking it lol I don’t have a habit of this a one of after haveing cluster headache for 10 hours wich is like a machine gun in ya head sorry if u got that empresion sorry u had a hard time with abuse

JANET127 profile image
JANET127 in reply to unluckyto

Sorry....Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

Sorry just very offended thinking that someone would have thought am like that

JANET127 profile image
JANET127 in reply to unluckyto

oops..I read something else on here, I thought it was you. Nope...sorry...But it gives us all something to think about! I live in the U.S. I am up in front of the CITY ZONING BOARD because of my Hair Salon. The speaker really verbally abused me! At the next meeting, I brought him a book of VERBAL ABUSE...Gave it to him in front of the whole room! He said "This for me?" I said "You Betcha"! By the next meeting, I could tell he read it, because of the wording he used! Just me..spreading the word! Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

If I had to spare I would but it’s short for me ide rarther spend with my kids who are men my partner passed 4 years ago after 32 years spent together we met at 14 and never parted

JANET127 profile image
JANET127 in reply to unluckyto

I am sorry to hear about your wife passing after so many years together! Life sure isn't easy! That's great enjoying your time with your adult children! My adult children are 52 and 50..both girls! Well, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, I hope you and your now mate make up and continue on from here! Janet127

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to JANET127

I do in deed

bevanboy profile image
bevanboy

Hi I am sorry to hear of your troubles, no wonder you get annoyed, the best way is a straight forward sorry and a small gift to show your truly sorry, remember we are all only human, and none of us are perfect, we all say things we don`t mean sometimes, life can be so hard sometimes, I hope all goes well for you, best wishes to you. John

A big apology and an even bigger bunch of flowers!

Aingeful profile image
Aingeful

Been there!! I felt so awful I couldn't sleep or think about anything else! My son's advice to me was "grovel,and buy him a pint"!!😂 All was fine eventually,illness can affect your personality at times. Re flowers, it used to infuriate me when my ex used to buy me flowers and thought that they sorted everything out! They didn't!! Talking and really feeling sorry helps,oh,and a nice bottle of wine!!😂🍷

illawarra profile image
illawarra

Stu ask her forgiveness and forgive yourself too! I do hope your friendship is restored. Best wishes from Oz.

Samwing profile image
Samwing

Everything you said here, you now need to say to her, try writing it all down in a card, good luck!

Janjan3000 profile image
Janjan3000

If he's a good friend as you think he will take it on the chin. But it's always nice to show him your sorry invite him over to watch a football game or something you both enjoy doing. If you cant say sorry then write it in a card/letter. Tell him hes your best friend.

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt

Well whichever way you decide to take to try and make it up with your friend,make sure you talk through why you acted or spoke like you did. Communication is key and you two sound like you have a friendship that's lasted years,so sit and talk and eat a huge slice of humble pie!!

Good luck!!

Jollj profile image
Jollj

Start with a big present of something you know she likes, shower her with compliments and any other thing that she likes,everything needs to be positive yet sympathetic,tell her how bad it made you feel and you just want to make it up to her,grovel to the highest possible level,most women have hearts as big as water melons i bet she will forgive you.

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to Jollj

Lol funny that she does two or a pair lol

Jollj profile image
Jollj in reply to unluckyto

Ha ha love your sense of humour, I know where you are coming from lol but hey hope you have managed to " sweeten " her and make things up, 37 years of marriage has told me we need these lovely specimens even if we do take them for granted on the odd occassion.

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to Jollj

She went Holliday with her family to Spain she s 28 years young and a sense of humour that rivals my own I laughed when I said found a job ? She said something about being a nob jokey lol 😂

Lilianne profile image
Lilianne

Good morning unluckyto,

If your best mate, who has saved your life on many occasions, really is your best mate, he will forgive you. However, you need to show him how sorry you are that you acted as you did. It was out of pain and frustration and I am sure that he will see that.

Best wishes.

Lilianne.

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to Lilianne

She lol

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49

Hello,so sorry you are going thru this. Just be the honest good,person you have been that she has seen in the past and poor out your heart.Often when we find out we have health issues it turns our worlds upside down. We suffer real feelings of grief and loss. Unfortunately, as you said, we not only suffer the devastation of being chronically ill we lash out--It isnt really about those we love--it is free floating and whoever is in our sites gets the brunt. Please dont beat yourself up. These reactions are common. I did a lot of it over a period of time. I alienated,lashed out,cried,. I was angry ,mad and hurt that this happened to me.Your love will not leave you. Find one person you trust(and Lucky you! Sounds like you have found one) Allow them to go on the journey with you.Dont hold your feelings inside and dont use anger to not feel the sadness ..Be a bit vunerable and confide and share that you are sad and scared...Allow yourself to feel what is behind the anger and express it as best you can. It will get easier!! You will adjust--You will come to terms. It takes time. Just pull yourself up and go forward-Hard as it may be to do , believe me, you will be a better and kinder person Hang in there--Dont ruminate over what you have lost--hold on to what you HAVE with kindness love and above all be honest.It" "It hurts" for starters and "forgive me for taking it out on you" Let her love you-hold you.....You are both hurt now. Jump in and fix it and go on.. You have love in your life--Cherish it and let her cherish you. Blessings,MmeT

megshafer profile image
megshafer

A simply, I am sorry, ( I wasnt feeling myself, opptional words)......I love you. Sometimes, just plain and simple is better than too wordy.

Meg 💕

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49

Just expressing inner feelings even to yourself will help--You can be as wordy as uwordy to your partner as you please but if this has happened more than once a simple Im sorry may not be enough--Just sayin...... --MmeT

unluckyto profile image
unluckyto in reply to madametobacco49

First time

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49

oh thats good--sorry if I rambled--I was just thinking of all my own stuff I went thru. Have a lovely,peaceful Sunday with your love--MmeT

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