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British Lung Foundation
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Still Sleepless in West Yorkshire

I last wrote about my beloved husband on this forum about two years ago, so I thought I would update you on what's been going on.

On our return from Greece in May last year, he needed to use extra oxygen on board the aircraft. A few weeks later I had to call an ambulance as his breathing had become very shallow and laboured. After a few days of tests he was diagnosed with pneumonia, the treatment for which was a minimum of 16 hours every day on oxygen at home. Concentrators were installed upstairs and down and he kept a daily record of his treatment which was in addition to a mountain of prescription meds for his existing COPD. He made good progress as the oxygen flow was gradually reduced from five litres a minute to two lpm. He was enrolled on a pulmonary rehab exercise course commencing 5th March and was looking forward to it as he had completed a course two years ago and really felt the benefit. But something went haywire that weekend. Once more I had to call for the ambulance and he was readmitted to hospital on Monday 4 March. The pneumonia bug had raised its ugly head again but this time it was determined to make its mark. Sadly he passed away peacefully on Saturday 9 March.

He was 75 years old, so we could say he was very fortunate to reach that age, which was achieved through a determination to keep positive, never moaning about how rotten he must have been feeling, and building a bank of happy memories for me to draw on now that he's gone...

91 Replies
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Thank you so much for telling us your story. How sad when it looked as if he might recover. He does sound to have been an exceptional man. An inspiration to us all. And I am glad you have lovely memories. Treasure them.

Kate love and hugs

Xxx

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Thank you Kate. Yes he was very inspirational and this was mentioned in my tribute to him during his funeral service. It was very comforting.

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So sorry to hear of your loss πŸ’žπŸ’ž

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Thank you very much, Blackbird.

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I just want to say I’m really sorry for your loss MrsMiyagi and you paint a lovely picture of a positive and determined man.

As Katinka says, treasure your lovely memories.

Love and best wishes to you. Xxxx

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Thank you Sassy. He was always a very positive man who kept his real thoughts about his illness to himself right to the end.

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Oh I am so sorry for your sad loss. Your happy memories will comfort you. x

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Thank you Hypercat. He had such a lovely innocent sense of humour in the early years of our relationship, he made me laugh every day with just a few words. It gave us a good foundation to carry us through the darker days.

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He sounds like a lovely man. x

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Hope those memories and all the happy times you shared are a comfort to you.

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Yes they are a great comfort. I was blessed, much more than I realised at the time!

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So very sorry for your sad loss. πŸƒπŸŒ±πŸŒΏ Majt

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Thank you Majt.

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I'm so sorry for your loss but glad that you have such treasured memories.

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Thank you. Yes, my memories are something that nobody can ever take from me, but I can share them with my friends and that is very comforting.

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❀️ x

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Thank you, Kittykat x

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So sorry to hear of your loss my thoughts are with you x

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Thank you Patsy. It helps to know that xx

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R.I.P. x

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Thank you xx

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So sorry for your loss MrsMiyagi,those memories of your dear husband are very precious now and you banked well and they will be a constant source of happiness for the future which is what he would have wanted you to have.

Ski's and Scruff's xx

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Yes, you are so right, it is exactly what he wanted for both of us, and even arguments can sometimes have their funny side when you have a good foundation xx

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So sorry you’ve lost your husband....very very sad for you ❀️ Treasure your memories, and revisit them often. Love πŸŒΉπŸ’•πŸŒ·πŸŒΈ

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Thank you Yatzy. I'm reliving my memories all the time at the moment, especially when I'm alone with just our gorgeous dog. She knows there's something very wrong and she listens to everything I'm telling her about her predecessors and the things we used to do together as our little family. It might sound a bit mad but it helps xx

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Bless you, and your lovely dog. She’s sure to be feeling as lost as you are at this very difficult time. Hope you can comfort each other xxxx

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So sorry for your loss. I’m glad your dog is helping. Keep her close

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Hello Oshgosh. Our girl is beyond belief. She has suddenly taken to sitting on his end of the corner sofa, where he has spent so much of his time during the last eight months, resting her head on the arm. She seems to understand.

One of the many mutual passions we discovered during our first conversation was a great love of German Shepherds. During the almost 33 years we have been married we have rescued four boys and now we have the most beautiful girl. Each has brought their own problems and we have helped them to feel settled, secure and loved. We have shared a wonderful life with them all in their turn. I will keep her close, Oshgosh, until...

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She will be missing him. Having a dog will mean you have to go out,which is good.

Now you need to take care of yourself.make. sure you eat,even if it’s small meals more often.give yourself a big hug every morning

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So Sorry Hun, Your Memories are Precious, hug them close. Sending Love. xxxx

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Thank you Hacienda, they certainly are very precious memories xx

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So sorry for your loss, memories are truly wonderful, making us laugh, cry and love, treasure them well, they see you through the hard times, hugs Irene x

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Thank you Irene. My memories stretch back almost 35 years so yes there is quite a mixture but even the not so good ones are part of the treasure trove that made us what we were together xx

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So sorry, he sounds to have been a very brave man. Those happy memories will be with you for ever.πŸ’

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Thank you Don. Yes he was a brave and patient man. He never complained about his health issues and tried to get on with life as normally as he could without burdening anyone else.

I have many wonderful memories, and any disagreements totally irrelevant, just the way it should be xx

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So sorry to hear about your husband. I sincerely hope that those memories are a comfort to you i

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A very great source of comfort Soul, thank you xx

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Hello MrsMiyagi .

I remember your posts well. I am so sorry to read your dear husband has passed away. He sounds like an exceptional man and I know you will miss him dearly. Please know you are welcome here anytime if you need to talk. Sending love and sunshine,

Cas xx πŸŒžπŸ€

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Hello Cas

How lovely that you remember us. Thank you.

Yes, he was very special, not only to me but many people. He had a unique way of dealing with situations and negotiating for better deals with the service providers and utility companies. Just before he ended a phone call with someone he would always say: Thank you very much, now you go and have a cup of coffee. He was a lovely man. I am going to miss him a lot, but everyone on here is being so warm and friendly, and understanding, and it's very comforting. It is very much appreciated

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I am so sorry to hear this sending you lots of love.

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Thank you so much, Thomac.

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I’m so sorry for your loss.

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Thank you HungryHufflepuff. I love your name, it made me laugh xx

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So very sorry for your sad loss. x

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Thank you very much, alyvonne, it's so comforting when people take the time to send a message xx

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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you helped him to have a very full life with plenty of travel and joy. It must be very tough facing life alone now , and I am so glad you have all those happy memories to look back on. Love and light to you xx

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Hello Hellodolly 😊. Thank you very much. Yes, we did have lots of really great holidays. It was our ambition to see as much of the world as possible, and we had wonderful friends who loved to come with us. Lots of memories to talk about, and now we are three but still going to take hols together where we will have a special evening in his honour xx

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I'm so sorry for your loss πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

Sending hugs to you for strength

Much love Babs xxxx

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Thank you so much, Babs. It really does help reading all these lovely warm messages from caring people xx

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I am so very sorry to hear you have lost your husband. I can only imagine the gap he has left behind him. I am glad you have some wonderful memories to treasure. Thinking of you.

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Hello Rayswife. Thank you for your lovely message. Yes, he has left a huge gap but that is because of the great character he was and that is what I'm trying to fill my thoughts with. Many people don't have that, so I have been much luckier than I realised xx

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Xxx

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πŸ‘ πŸ˜‹πŸ€£ xxx

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So sorry for your loss. Sending my love. Thinking of you. πŸ’β€β€

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Thank you for your lovely message Gingeros. It is very comforting xx

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I am so sorry for the loss of such a brave and caring man who shielded you from how badly he was feeling.

It will be a great comfort to have happy memories of your time together.

My best wishes to you. xxx

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Thank you so much for your kindness. Yes, we were both putting a 'front' on for each other and gave each other strength to carry on as normally as possible.

My memories mean everything to me now. I found a wonderful photograph of us on holiday in Austria 32 years ago, we look so young and happy, even though he was showing signs of what was to come even then. I love the piccy so much I've had it digitalised and now I'm having it put onto a clock for my kitchen wall so he will still be able to take charge of the cooking... xx

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So sorry to hear you have lost the love of your life. He certainly sounds like he was a very strong and courageous man. Keep your memories alive, he will always be with you. Sending you love and light πŸ™πŸ™πŸ’—

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Thank you Piperava. Yes he was never one for giving in and would never ever moan or complain. He was an inspiration to others who were not as ill as he was.

If you read my reply to greatauntali you'll see I have ordered a personalised clock using a holiday photo. It's for the kitchen wall so he will be able to keep an eye on the cooking xx

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So sorry to hear about your brave husband. He must really have appreciated the love and support you gave him throughout your time together and especially through the last years.

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Thank you Ergendi. He was a brave man; I am very proud of the strength he showed in dealing with this dreadful condition. We still had our spats and arguments as most of us do, but he made me laugh as well. Yes, he did appreciate the support I gave him, he told me so more than once, and he gave me support and strength too. That is what marriage is about. When I made the promise "in sickness and in health, until..." I meant it - we both did. I don't think I realised until now just how lucky we were to have each other xx

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What a beautiful tribute to him and to your marriage.

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Thank you xx

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So sorry for your loss, he was definately a fighter. Hope your coping ok , take care x x

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Thank you for your message, Shirleyj. Yes he was a fighter, even arguing with the doctors on what turned out to be his final morning because they had said they would arrange for him to come home if that was his wish. As it turned out, he had too great a set-back during the night and they told him he simply wasn't strong enough to survive the upheaval and six mile journey in the ambulance. He stood his ground against their change of mind, but soon realised that even that battle was taking his strength. He certainly was no quitter xx

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Sorry for your loss. Beautiful memories to treasure.

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Thank you ScouseTaffy. I am very lucky to have been married to someone who, like me, thought life was all about creating good and happy memories for our old age. As I wrote in my personal tribute for his funeral: "Mission accomplished" xx

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I’m so sorry for your loss. You have a treasure trove of lovely memories. Thinking of you. Liz x

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Hello FlossyF. Thank you for your message. I also now have a treasure trove of heartwarming and comforting messages from all the caring people who have read about my lovely husband and are helping me to keep strong and carry on with a different life xx

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I am new to this group and to this condition... initially, when I did the usual Google searches it gave me 2 to 5 years as my expected life span..

Reading other people’s stories here certainly gives me hope.. your husbands story is inspirational and may his soul rest in peace. Thank you for sharing this to give others like me more strength to cope.

πŸ™

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Hello Singh07. I am so sorry to hear about your prognosis. I can only hope that you can be as fortunate as my husband as he told me when we first met almost 35 years ago that if he didn't stop smoking he should not expect to live beyond 60. He was 75 when he left this world, and he didn't give up his cigs because he really enjoyed them. He only cut down to two a day when he was on oxygen therapy for 16 hours a day and he simply didn't have time to smoke them.

I wish you well and hope that you too are able to have many more years than predicted. Bless you xx

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Lovely to read your wonderful story and so sad that illness took its toll. I am sure your happy memories will remain ever strong. Xx

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Thank you Jackie. For us, life was all about creating the memories. I have some wonderful friends who played their part in building them. Now we can relive the many happy times we've spent together and carry on creating more for their futures as well xx

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So sorry to hear of the passing of your dear husband. He certainly was inspirational and it is precious that he has left you with wonderful happy memories to treasure.

With love

Cx

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Hello cofdrop. I am truly overwhelmed by the number of lovely messages I have received about my husband.

Thank you for your kind and caring words. It helps a great deal to feel such support from strangers who feel like friends I just haven't met xx

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I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss Gloria xx

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Thank you very much Gloria.

Everyone on this forum is here for a common reason and it helps a lot to know we can help each other in this small but very meaningful way xx

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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

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Hello jackdup. Thank you so much for your message. Everyone on this forum has been so kind. It really does help to know that people care xx

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Sorry for your loss . I'm so glad you've got your gorgeous dog, shell bring you through this very sad time. She'll be your best friend and listen to you all the time. Your companion to tell all your memories too. And give you unconditional love. They really are always there for us and understand so so much. Love and best wishes to you both. Mx

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Hello Dog12. Thank you so much for your lovely message. I can tell you are also a very doggy person.

I have just posted a reply to Oshgosh explaining a little about our mutual love of dogs, especially German Shepherds. It was this devotion that became a large part of what made us a strong couple. We have all been very lucky to have had each other. All part of my wonderful memories xx

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So sorry to hear your sad news. He was very lucky to have you I am sure he appreciated you too.

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Thank you Stamford. Yes, he did. I just wish we had both known exactly how ill he had become before he was taken into hospital. It never crossed my mind that he wouldn't be coming home again, and that hurts xx

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Yes, you must feel a bit cheated x

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So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this, which must have been very painful for you! He truly was an inspiration, and so are you. Its wonderful that you have such lovely memories of your special man. Sending hugs xx

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Thank you, Dedalus. I am feeling the pain of losing this lovely man from my life, but being able to talk about him with all you wonderful people on this forum has been so heartwarming. I am truly grateful to everyone for the love you have been sending me xx

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So sorry for your loss. This must have been very hard for you. Bless you both

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Thank you so much for your kindness and caring falconcottage1 xx

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Am so very sorry my dear, the feeling of loss and emptiness is very hard to come to terms with but, like so many of us, you have a treasure of wonderful memories, and that will help always. I love your idea of the clock - I still chat with my beloved even though it is now 17 years since we had to part. Take care, thinking of you.

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So sorry for your loss. Thank goodness for your happy memories. Cx

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I'm so sorry to read of your husband's passing.

It sounds as though you had a long and loving relationship. Hang onto your memories especially on the tough days.

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