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British Lung Foundation
39,624 members β€’ 46,454 posts

Feeling alone

I have been a member of BLF for a long while now and I have never been able to get enough answers or replies to my Q.s so, I have tried to "stir the pot" a bit. Alas, normally to no avail, is it the timezones? Or does my situation just expose the cultural differences between northern hemisphere & southern?

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Hi Fleurbaby, it sounds from your above post that you just want some attention and looking through some of your posts, you are making statements and not really asking any questions. Having said all that just come in and make a post saying you are lonely and would love to have someone to take to, they are a friendly bunch of people on hear and I am sure you will get lots of replies. I hope you have a good day and that the weather is nice where you are, it is pretty miserable today here. Have fun xx

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Yes skatergirl1, you are correct, I am very isolated here, & I don't see anyone except for my home help, she is a good person, but, she is Thai & the language barrier, is quite bad. She has been in NZ for about 20yrs, but her English is still quite limited (THAT ISN'T A CRITIQUE) before anyone takes offense ok?

I have NO family, my friends are moving on, so to speak! They don't know how to help, so, keep their distance, it's easier for them that way, it's human nature.

Which because I am disabled, I am using a Walker, l can't get out much, I am lucky to get 10 or 20 yards.

As a result, l only have the TV or radio for companionship. Because I suffer from G.A.D it's very easy for me to feel isolated, because I am my own harshest critic. I grew up in a family where my esteem was attacked almost daily.

I am so sorry to hassle you guys with this, but, I thought people on here would be more helpful, as COPD (WHICH I DO HAVE) Is the reason my gad is overactive.

πŸ‘πŸ‡³πŸ‡ΏπŸ’–πŸ˜­πŸ€—

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Hi fleurbaby, I am sorry to hear your history and sympathise, but unfortunately I cannot help you with those issues. If you have a specific question then please ask the forum and I Am sure someone will answer. A lot of us just have banter here and talk about different things other than our illness, and it is that banter that brightens my day and keeps me positive in my life. There is more to me than my illness. Let people know more about you as a person, what you like reading, your favourite movie etc and join in with social aspect of the site. X

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Hello Fleurbaby.

I’m sorry you feel a bit neglected. I think some of your health issues are complex. And may simply be beyond our expertise. Perhaps you could be very specific with your queries?

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In future I will try to be! Thank you

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Hi, often with COPD there are many questions that do have answers unfortunately. At times this horrible condition affects all so differently that there are no right and wrong answers. What helps one can be no use for another.Perhaps more direct questions is the answer?

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πŸ‘πŸ’–

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Hey Fleurbaby I'm sorry to know you feel alone. Having respiratory problems can be isolating but, you don't need to feel lonely here. I guess we don't all reply to all the posts but that doesn't mean we don't like what you have to say. Stick around and join in. Everyone is very supportive here and there's lots of advice and laughter too. Take care of yourself πŸŒžπŸŒ›

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πŸ‘πŸ’–

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You’ve had some good replies Fleurbaby and I hope they help. Lung disease can be quite distressing so people may not always reply to a post but they do care.

Pete is poorly at the moment so I’m doing my utmost to help him and keep him out of hospital.

Wishing you well and do stay in touch. Xxxxxx

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Good morning sassy59,

I'm sorry to hear that Pete is unwell. I hope with your loving care that he will feel better soon. My thoughts are with you. I am here all the time. Speak to you soon. Lots of Love, Bev xxx❀❀❀

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Thank you for your kind reply Bev. I’m hoping Pete feels better soon. Xxx πŸ’•πŸ’–

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Me too! Please give him my loveπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸŒ»πŸ€—

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Will do πŸ‘πŸ’–πŸ˜˜

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I am sending healing wishes, to Pete. Hope he feels better real soon.

Both of you take really good care.

You both are in my thoughts.

Meg xxπŸ’•πŸ’•

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Thank you so much Meg, your kind words are much appreciated. XxxxπŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸŒΈπŸŒΌπŸŒ»

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Good morning Fleurbaby,

I am sorry to hear that you feel isolated. I know that feeling. COPD and lung disease can be scary. I try to keep busy and enjoy the garden or reading or some tv. I reached out to the caring people on this wonderful site and they haven't let me down. We are all rooting for each other. Stay positive and keep in touch. The sun is shining here today and it's a new day.😊🌸Enjoy and we're always here for a chatπŸ’πŸŒΉπŸŒΈLove Bev 😊

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Good morning to you Fleurbaby and you should never feel alone on this site. I know only too well how COPD can be a life changer and becoming isolated is unfortunately something that is becoming increasingly common in afraid. Myself I find the anxiety,depression panic attacks which ever word I choose,causes me the biggest problem. It is such an individual disease and you may find other symptoms,more difficult to cope with. Please pop in again even if it's a general chit chat about something you find helps you and maybe might help other members too. If you are able to take photos of your garden or a view,you will educate some of us as to life in New Zealand! Have a good day.

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Most members chose a username that gives some indication as to who you would be writing to in a reply. For example when writing to Skatergirl1 I wouldn't envisage a little old lady in a nursing home doing her knitting. Perhaps you should consider a name change? Of course you might have some very good personal reason for choosing Fleurbaby in which case I'll return to minding my own business. 🀐

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Lol, no sorry everybody. I do have siblings & nephew/nieces et. al!

But, l was the only one who looked after our parents & grandmother before they died, l sacrificed EVERYTHING, literally!

As a result, when our elders were gone, naturally, I stilled occupied the house, with 6 surviving dogs.

I begged them to give me the time to look for somewhere to live with the dogs as well, but, no! The 2 eldest siblings took control & the rest stood by, whilst they tried to get the authorities to take the dogs, but they wouldn't cos I was looking after them so well. They tried to get the local gangs interested, but, they respected my parents too much, as they had helped the gangs with advice on their dogs.

Anyway, I had to leave!

My siblings & their children came over to the property & took all my parents furniture, emptied the pool, threw all my property in the pool & set fire to it!!!!

Now, you guys weren't to know that, but they bad mouthed me to their kids & I have had to totally remove myself, for my own safety!

That is why I don't have my own photo online.

If they can hold a grudge against our parents....they turned on me.....I haven't seen or heard from any family since Oct 2005.

I have always been a family man, I wear my heart on my sleeve, & it hurts.

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That’s very sad Fleurbaby and we’re really pleased to have you as a member on this great forum.

Take care xxxxx

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((((Hugs)))) Fleurbaby. What an awful experience. I had to start again in December 1999 and know how gut-wrenchingly betrayed you can feel when so called family try to destroy you. I did end up with the dog and cats though, once I'd found a little flat to rent.

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Good, but sad, if you know what I mean Ergendl? Someone who has been where I have (possibly still am to a degree).

Isn't it horrible?

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Yes, it's a really dark time in my life. But I did get through it eventually, one day at a time, one step at a time, keeping myself busy building a future that didn't include them in it. All the best to you as you start on that path too.

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Not sure what my name says about me? ☺️

πŸ•πŸ”πŸŸπŸ«πŸ½

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My profile photo is my last little dog, French bulldog, she was my little baby, I had to put her to sleep on the morning after our all blacks beat her French team in the world cup, sunday morning, her name was 'petite Fleur' little flower, she was gorgeous.

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Et quelle belle petite fleur. And what a beautiful little flower she is. I’m very sorry to know she had to be put to sleep.

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Whoops....sorry, last post got attached to wrong reply x

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Sorry guys, my profile photo on this site, is my little man Sebastian, my little fleur is my profile photo on Facebook,

Sebastian was a solid little dog, but one of his most endearing features was his lack of fear, my friend bred rottweilers, they were 20 times his size!

It is like the quote.......IT IS NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG!

BUT RATHER THE SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG!

or words to that effect, he was a gorgeous little guy!

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Haha...hungry....mine should be 🍷o xx

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aaaah ahhhh there Don, I am a little (5'0"), old (57) lady, who works in a nursing home, and loves to knit!!! but prefers skating xxx TRUE lol x

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Hey Don I was just watching Rio 2, the screenwriter is called Don Rhymer 😎

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Yes, he died recently. It wasn't me. 😌

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Good Morning Hun, I have always said in earlier Posts, "We are only in the Next Room", so please do not feel Lonely again. All these lovely people have given you such Positive replies, I hope mine makes you feel better also. It is sad that your Home Help can't communicate more, Language really isn't a Barrier, we have Hands. Let 's talk about you, if not too personal, How have you managed on your own with COPD ? ie: GP , Hospital, Do you have children? any family? so to get an overaul Picture. I am at this Moment a Bit Down with my Lung "Valves" not working after 9 months so Struggling to Breath, On Oxygen 24/7, But I do have my Hubby to help. I have had COPD for many Years and I am stage 4 Emphysema Hereditory. I have family, half are Spanish live in Spain, Half in England Both families take 3 hours to get here to visit me. So we can all be Lonely under different circumstances. I have recently had a New Great Granddaughter(Spain) whom I have yet to Meet & Hold, my Heart aches to hold her. I do hope you are feeling a little less isolated now Hun. take care and keep posting. Love n Hugs. Carolina xxxx

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Hi Carolina, I am so sorry to hear you are down with your valves and having to use oxygen all the time. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you're not on your own. What are the doctors doing for you?❀

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Hi Hun, I am waiting for my Consultant to contact me regarding my CT Scan from last week, I am hoping I will be admitted for another Bronch procedure for new valves. I have spoken to her Secretary this Morning, Just have to wait and hopefully get some Strength back to resume my Exercises. Will let you know the outcome. Love n Hugs xxxx

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Hi hon,

Ok. I don't know too much about valves but I will Google it and then I shall know. In the meantime I am thinking of you very much. I wish I were nearer, I would pop in and bring some of my garden flowers and some nice apple pie and ice cream. I hope your consultant reaches you todayπŸ€—I send you my love and be waiting to hear the news. Love and hugs, your friend Bev xxx β€πŸ€—

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Hi Dear Bev, thank you for your kind offer 🍨🌹🌻🌹, I do hope she gets back to me soon, I will let you know. The Valves are referred to as LRV Procedure, or Lung Reduction. Stay Well Bev. Love n hugs. Xxxx

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Oohhhh. Apple pie and cream sounds good....where do live lol xx. I pop round!!

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You are most welcome Skatergirl1!! There is always enough for twoπŸ€—πŸ˜ŠπŸ¦πŸ§β€πŸ’ƒ

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πŸ˜„πŸ’ I'll bring the 🍷to wash it down xx

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Ohhh PLEASE....πŸ˜πŸ˜„πŸ·πŸ·I have music, tooπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅πŸ‘πŸ˜„β€πŸ€—

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Now this is starting to sound like a party, I say lets get it startedπŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ©πŸ¬πŸŽ‚πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ”ŠπŸ”ŠπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽˆπŸŽˆπŸŽˆπŸŽˆπŸŽˆπŸ˜πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·

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Carolina, guys. Thank you so much for coming to the rescue so to speak! WOW! I have embarrassed myself since being officially diagnosed, but nobody, gp, hospital, NO ONE told me Anything! I honestly had to research Every detail myself

After what my family did to me, can anyone be surprised by my overreaction to even the slightest feeling of rejection or being ignored!?

I am truly sorry everybody for loading my problems on you guys, you have enough problems of your own.

THANKS, EVERYONEπŸ‡³πŸ‡ΏπŸ˜Š

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No Problem Hun, Just keep posting. We are here for you. have a Good day Today. xxxx

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πŸ––πŸ‘β€πŸ’›

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Way to go fleurbaby....you have made friends today x x. Keep in touch and be ☺

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Hi my love, I understand your feeling of rejection after all you’ve been through, how can any family justify what they’ve done to you ? As so many have already said, you are never alone on here, there’s always someone to chat to or just have a moan to so please don’t suffer in silence. Wishing you all the best, take care. Christine. XXX

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Thank youπŸ’–πŸ’–

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Hi sorry you feel like this. Why not join one of the mental health sites on here as well? I have given you the link to one of them. They will all understand on there and you might feel a bit less alone. x

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

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Just joined the above group, now we'll see, thanks

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I think it will help you to talk to others. It is very good and well used site with some lovely members on it. x

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Hi please don't feel alone, I love chatting to people when I have the time. So sorry you are feeling alone I'm sure no on one on here meant meant it. You sound really down, but please remember we are all here for each other. You have a lovely day and take care of yourself. 😊Bernadette xx

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πŸ‘πŸ’“πŸ’–πŸ’–

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Hello Fleurbaby,..Do you have any pets now ? If not, perhaps you need some dear little animal or bird to be the lucky recipient of all the love and affection and attention you obviously have to give..and if we do not have anything to put this attention onto, it builds up as emotion and makes us feel like you do now. It could be something very easy to care for. Guinea pigs are nice, they make a lovely noise. Or maybe a friendly caged bird.

Cats are lovely pets, but they usually like to stay at the same address, whereas a caged animal or bird could be farmed out if necessary.

You may already have a pet in which case please ignore!

Have you had a check on your vitamin and mineral levels, because deficiencies could make you feel awful, and I believe it is said that sadness can affect how the body absorbs them. Chicken and egg !

Putting that right could make you feel better. In the meantime keep posting on here, we will be waiting to hear from you.

We are here, distance is an illusion. You will get the same meaning from

my words whether I am in NZ, UK, or Timbuktu. πŸ˜ƒ

Put some happy music on, eat something nice, check out the Television if you have one, if not, then the radio.

We are all thinking of you and rooting for you.

PosyP

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I have been contemplating a cat from the RSPCA, but they charge & I have to budget, but, I am going to do it soon.

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That will be nice for you, and it will give a cat a home. Win win. I’ve got one cat who will insist on tripping me up, usually at feed time, so do be careful of that. I hope it works out for you. PosyP.πŸ™€πŸ―πŸ†πŸ… πŸ’•

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Lovely posting, thank you everyone! You are all replenishing my faith in humans again!

βœŠβœŠπŸ€™πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‡³πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡³πŸ‡ΏπŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ€™

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Oh that’s wonderful, also you could work out a way to communicate better with your lady who comes in. Draw her a picture of something that you particularly like to eat and see if she gets it in for you. I presume she does your shopping. If not she’ll have to make an exception. I think that you could probably pull up a translation into her language of what you want to say by asking Mr.Google, or whatever search engine you use. I am not computer literate so I feel sooo proud when I use a phrase like β€œ whateversearch engine you use”.....it makes my day πŸ˜€I’ve got lady coming from local animal rescue to collect some things for them to sell on EBay, to help towards their colossal vets bills.

So glad you are feeling a bit better. Bye for now.

PosyP

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Hi posyp, yes my career does shop for me occasionally, we use messenger to take photos of what I want and she does it too, before buying. I have to tell her not to buy just any milk, as the brand name is about $2 dearer than the budget milk, she is on huge money, so never gave it much thought lol

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