The boy stood on the burning deck
Coughing and gasping "Flipping heck."
"I think I'm going to breath my last
If don't do something very fast".
He had a badge with a big red balloon
That he had found in the Captain's room.
What's this he asked in consternation?
"Is it the British Lung Foundation?"
"Yes," he heard his mate intone,
As he handed the lad his mobile phone.
"Ring this number and ask for advice",
The lad didn't need telling twice.
The lady answered with this useful tip,
"First... get off that ****** ship!!"