Mr. Nobody.: I have a Mr Nobody Who... - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation

49,700 members59,656 posts

Mr. Nobody.

Don-1931 profile image

I have a Mr Nobody

Who lives at home with me.

He moves my things around the house,

To were they shouldn't be.

He eats my food so when I look,

I don't have any left.

I know I should have plenty,

But now I'm left bereft.

He always moves my car keys,

From where they ought to be.

And goes on spending money,

When I'm sure it isn't me.

I lock the house to go out.

He unlocks the door again.

I have to go back and check it,

Again, again and again.

I don't think he's got COPD

I never hear him cough.

I'm certainly not his carer,

So I wish he'd just pith off!

27 Replies

That's made me smile this morning! I can relate to that

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to snail

Good! Great! :-) When they stop making folk smile I'll pack this rhyming thing in.

I have one of those Don

Oh, Happy Smiles Here Don, Brilliant ,Thank You. xxxx

His wife lives with me!

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to

I'll send him round to you. Can't come between husband and wife. :-) :-) :-)

He had better bring these 💐Mrs Nobody demands fuss

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to

Bye, 🤓💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

From my childhood, I believe by Hughes Mearns.

Yesterday, upon the stair,

I met a man who wasn’t there

He wasn’t there again today

I wish, I wish he’d go away...

When I came home last night at three

The man was waiting there for me

But when I looked around the hall

I couldn’t see him there at all!

Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!

Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair

A little man who wasn’t there

He wasn’t there again today

Oh, how I wish he’d go away...

Carnival567 profile image
Carnival567 in reply to 2greys

My father used to recite this! Haven’t heard it for years😀

He must have brothers and sisters.🤔

Oh this made me laugh out loud, thank you Don-Rhymer 😄

Super! I'm still smiling!!

"Pith Off" your'e aving a larf about this geezer in your gaff Master Po

or should i say i'm having a laugh now.

Ski's and his imaginary cat :) xx

Wonderful Don. I hope you are ok my friend? Bev xx

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to hypercat54

Plodding on, Bev, plodding on. ;-)

We have one called Henry. Your rhyme is brilliant, just my cup of tea (Henry chipped my mug last week)

Love it Don and made me smile too. Xx 😀

Like this one Don. It could sum up my day at

😂Yes, I know him. I call him my " Borrower". He uses up all my Pots n Pans. (I'm sure I never used so many), Eats all the food from my freezer. Leaves Keys in the Lock n never waters the houseplants. 😊🌻✌️

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to Dubba61

Keys left in the lock is bad. I've turned the house up-side-down looking looking for them. :-o

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61 in reply to Don-1931

Ohh I know! Me too. 👍

Brilliant a per usual Don, sounds very much like someone I know.


Your poem reminded me of this notice in an office I used to work in:

That’s Not My Job

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

Don-1931 profile image
Don-1931 in reply to Ergendl

Stewth! You lost me halfway through that! 🤣

Good one 😁😁x

You've just given me a good chuckle on this lovely bright Monday morning. A great start to the week! Thank you. xx Moy

You may also like...