i am sorry: u am in tears thanku foe... - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation
45,002 members52,592 posts

i am sorry

hope132
hope132

u am in tears thanku foe trying to help everyone i cant sleep and i am messed up still from the pills i took last night i am going to try and sleep again, i might have to call the hospital but if i do i know my life is over.i know my life is over anyway i thats why i dont want to live like this .i have no joy now NONE! an will never have any joy again.i am all alone i have nobody next to me to support me no girlfriend nothing i have been alone for a long time that is the life i chose but i have never been lonely as long as i was healthy.i am not healthy anymore and never will be.it is over for me i will have a joyless life what is the sense.this is going to kill my parents and destroy my sister. i cant cope and i dont want to.what is the sense what am i going to do walk around for 20 years struggling to breat every secound of every day. i would rather have cancer and fight it there is a chance then. there is no chance now thats how i fell.i dont know if i will make it thru the day what for. i am going to try and get a few hours sleep again its hard i want to take 2 more pills to knock me out but i syill feel messed up from the ones i took.i will check back in maybe 2 hoursi am living secound to secound and dont know if i want to make it to the next secound.for all those who pray please pray for me even though i dont believe

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
13 Replies
oldestnewest

We’re still here for you hope so please keep talking. Reach out to your family and don’t give up. Why should lung disease win? Don’t let it.

Try and sleep now but no more pills. Xxxxx

Hope, I've been reading your posts and I'm sorry you are in such distress. You've been diagnosed with mild copd. I was diagnosed with severe copd 10 years ago when I was about your age. 10 years on my diagnosis hasn't changed, I feel no worse - in fact I feel much better than I did before my diagnosis as I'm now getting the right treatment for me. I don't feel unhealthy and I can still do most things I want to. You've told us all the things you can still do - walk, swim, work. There is nothing joyless there.

You desperately need to talk to someone about this as I think your big problem is anxiety. I've looked through the other communities here and I see there is one called COPD Friends which is based in America. Click on this link to see their site healthunlocked.com/copd-fri...

Perhaps it would be easier for you to talk to someone from that forum than it would be for most people here as we are mostly in the UK. But if you get desperate and need someone to talk to you can call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.

I wish you the best of luck - keep fighting!

hope132
hope132
in reply to jabber

hi jabber how do u know its mild my fev1 number was 67 then 64 but i was told numbers change and not to worry about such a slight drop.numbers are different the way you blow time of day whatever.i told the dr who i dont like cause the first time he told me i dont have it and sat on my xray report for 6 weeks and never called me i told him what i can do and he said its mild.my numbers are stage 2 but for now my symptoms are mild except when i have severe painic attacks which basically is everyday several times a day.the dr sat there and drew a straight line on the paper and told me it is possible to stay on that line without ever going down if you never smoke again and take care of yourself.the copd hotline told me this also but i dont believe them,all i read is it is a progressive disease.my dad wad diagnosed at 73 when he was still smoking and i dont know what stage he was in but at 83 he is extremely bad like less then 20%.this is the main reason for my massive panic attacks daily i see my dad i see me.over and over in my head all day.i know i cant live that way my aunt is bad also and smoke for 5 years after she found out.suicide thoughts everyday all day.i have always said quality of life gone im gone .always said this even when i was a kid.you never went down and feel better after 10 years is it possible to stay where i am and this question scares the hell out of me till i die and i dont even know if i could do that without loosing my mind and ending it.i just cant stop panicing no matter how har i try. sometimes i am good for half a day but it always comes it never stops its always right around the corner

annienell
annienellAdministrator
in reply to hope132

Hello again Hope - your doctor has told you that you will get no worse if you never smoke again and take care of yourself. The copd hotline also told you this. Many of our members have said the same thing, but you say you don't believe us because you've read it's a progressive disease. It would be progressive if you made no changes to your lifestyle, but you've already made the biggest change of all in that you've stopped smoking. You are already fit and you can work at staying that way. Therefore the progression for you will stop. You will not take the same route as your father. We have many members who will vouch for this. Please try and believe us. Don't go to Dr google for information. Here you are talking to people with the same condition as you who are living positively and looking to the future with hope, not fear.

We hear what you're saying but the only help we can offer is from our own experience.

Jabber's suggestion of looking at the COPD Friends forum is a good one as they are based in America and will have more knowledge of what is available to help you there, and perhaps point you in the direction of a good counselling organisation. I think it would be very helpful for you to talk to a professional who can help you look at your fears and deal with them, so they are not so overpowering.

Hope you are not going from mid 60's lung function to mid 50's in a few weeks you know and probably not in a few years if ever. At the most it should decline by a point or a couple of points (if at all) every couple of years. Which means you will still be able to do all the things you can now. You should be able to in the next 20 years as well. After that who knows? It's in the lap of the gods.

We all age and we all decline at different rates whether we have any disease or not. My lung function is in the mid 70's and i never expect it to go down very much unless I live to 120! x

hope132
hope132
in reply to hypercat54

thanku u made me feel great.i did not see this response and just asked the same question on a new response but thanku it gives me tremendous strength.i felt like one day i would wake up and all my breathing would be gone overnight and thats the reason i freak out

hypercat54
hypercat54
in reply to hope132

Oh that's a relief! I was beginning to think nothing was going to get through to you! Everyones lung functions declines naturally with age anyway and all it means is us copders will be a little lower than others. But you are so fit and healthy I am sure you will remain so for many years yet.

There is no way you will wake up one day and you won't be able to breathe! x

hope132
hope132
in reply to hypercat54

is it possible to raise it a few points with exercise and diet.i have read a few people actually got a little higher

I sent you a message earlier, read it, it will help you to know others are going through the same as you. Look for the Marrigold message. Your life is not over, ask your doctor for steroids, they really help.

I was diagnosed with moderate COPD in March 2015 with an FEV1 of 69%. By singing, eating healthily, exercising more within my physical limitations, and avoiding infections and exacerbations, I still have an FEV1 of 69%. I took my COPD diagnosis as a wake-up call to start looking after myself better, and I haven't felt as fit for a long time. So what, if I get a bit breathless climbing up a hill or the stairs? I just pause a bit, get my breath back, and carry on.

Take hope from us here, hope132. It could be the best years of your life are yet to come.

The group is still here for you. Never give up, press on regardless ,do your best , always look at this wonderful world full of lovely things and interests. Don't forget there are plenty who are far worse off that you can help.

Dan

Just read your post Hope, your diagnosis is far better than many on here so you should not even be thinking of any drastic measures. I believe anxiety/depression is your biggest problem, as it is with many lung disease patients. Please ask your doctor about this - he will no doubt prescribe for you, and remember that the person who can help you most is yourself. We have all been healthier in the past, we could do more, but it is not the end of the world that we can't do as much and we have to do it more slowly. Life is a superb experience and a gift, don't write it off lightly. Look forward with gratitude for the things that are still possible, you will be in my thoughts and prayers as are so many on this site.

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

You may also like...