alone: i am a widow and have copd stage... - Lung Conditions C...

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alone

Annieosb profile image
23 Replies

i am a widow and have copd stage 3,and realised how alone i really am. Had a recent bad chest infection and realised how alone i really am. Friends too busy, only son mentally ill so unable to comprehend my needs.

Anyone got any suggestions for communities, living arrangements that i could buy into?

Annie

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Annieosb profile image
Annieosb
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23 Replies
carmwoman profile image
carmwoman

Hello Annie.

I am in A similar condition live alone have separate accommodation only 1daughter who has her lifestyle. I am going through a really bad virus myself just now and think I am In the same position as you I also have Emphysema.

I live in Queensland Australia

Good luck.

Carmwoman

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb in reply to carmwoman

thanks carmwoman, i have to go back to the drawing board and reassess my life and options. x

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Hello Annie, have you thought about assisted living apartments? Some are part owned by a company and part owned by the occupier. It means you have a Manager on site and activities/coffee mornings to enjoy if you want to.

See what may be available in your area. Good luck. Xxxxx

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb in reply to sassy59

thanks for that suggestion, have looked into these but found them to be way over my budget. x

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to Annieosb

Fair enough. Wishing you well. Xxx

Hello Annie, I see you have been a member here since 2014. Sometimes the best defence against feeling lonely is to just put yourself around a bit more. 😉

zack55 profile image
zack55

Hi anni I am in same boat as you I asked my council if they could move me to a small sheltered housing scheme .i now have my own small flat 2 wardens on site and pull cords in all rooms . I can go to coffee mornings and all sorts of things in main hall but still live independently on my own knowing help is a call away. Please don't feel as if you are alone this site has helped me loads .

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb in reply to zack55

Thank you Zack, I shall look into that

Damon1864 profile image
Damon1864Volunteer

Hi Annie I felt like that but decided to join groups. It certainly helps and you make new friends, at least that way you have some company and don't feel so alone. Hope this helps you, take care and keep posting. Love Bernadette xx 😊

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb

I have a busy life when well, the aloneness was when i was laid up ill, not even a soul to make me a cup of tea! but the glass is half full and i just need a bit of recovery time and i am going to change my life. Thanks

HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff in reply to Annieosb

Well I managed to delete my reply to you 🙄 Not that I had any helpful ideas, thankfully everyone else has been here for that. It's great that you have a busy life when well, but doubly hard that you have to deal with aloneness at the same time as illness. I am blessed because I have friends and family around me but I live alone and find the nights incredibly long and lonely. Since finding this forum I've found support and companionship in the people and conversations here. It's not the same as having someone sit beside you or bring you a cup of tea but it helps me with the feelings of aloneness at night and maybe you can find the same. But I hope you'll find a more practical solution from all the good advice here. Being alone is hard. Wishing you a speedy recovery and a quick return to your busy life 🙂

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb in reply to HungryHufflepuff

Thank you

Spacecat1 profile image
Spacecat1

Do you own your own house? If rent why mot look into housing association for over 50s my hubby was manager of one you all have your own home. Lounges downstairs there were lifts. And theclounfes looked out onto the gardens. Always someone popping in and out to make a cup of tea and have a matter and they also have the district nurses etc popping in.maybe speak to your gp

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb

Hi Lizzric, thanks I am now looking into these. Thanks again

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61

Hello Annie, my situation is very similar. COPD level 3. Children live away. No family close by. I had a Chest infection around 2 Months ago and it's not nice being alone and poorly. What's helped me a lot over the 5 years, living alone, is Volunteering. I've made many good friends and it makes you feel usefull. I also do lots of Crafts in the evenings, preventing me from dwelling on being alone. I try to get out in the day, even if just, for a short walk. Best wishes. 👍😊🌻

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb

Thank you dubba

Seams13 profile image
Seams13

Wishing you a very speedy recovery Annieosb. I too have emphysema stage 3 but I am fortunate to have a partner. I love solitude but I detest loneliness. It's not much fun being poorly to begin with, without having a bit of help. I sincerely hope that you can find more suited accommodation and that there are brighter days ahead for you x

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb

Bless you and thanks x

undine profile image
undine

I too live alone no children, no partner, just one female cousin who pops in 2 or three times a week and gets a bit of shopping, was managing at stage 3 to wash, cook etc. until about 18 months to 2 years ago, then had to get daily help through an agency which I pay for first for i hour a day, then 2.5 (breakfast/wash/tea/ and evening meal) hours. Had to move my bed to the lounge/dining room and get a commode, managed at stage 4 with 19% lung capacity till earlier this year dropped to 16% now am in process of trying live in carer as things got even worse as far as moving is concerned so really each drop in condition necessitate a readjustment till right type and timeline of support is found then just a question of plateauing and hoping to stay at that level as long as possible - anyway just my experience - good luck xxx

Annieosb profile image
Annieosb in reply to undine

Bless you, I am humbled by your experience. I decided a long time ago, having nursed my husband, mother and father through illness, that I was not going to be dependent on anyone and when this time came I was going to go to Switzerland to dignitas. I still hold to that and apologise in advance if I offend anyone.

Wish you all the best

Annie

in reply to Annieosb

You don’t offend me. I just think it’s shameful that we live in a society that pins us against a wall, making us feel a burden for becoming ill!

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl

Do see if there is a Breathe Easy group in your area. You can find out about them through the British Lung Foundation website.

katieoxo60 profile image
katieoxo60

Sorry for delayed response, battling with a broken shoulder right now. Share your concerns about being alone, when you are ill it hits it home. I am in a group for widows, our local council & Age U K have lists of groups even ones for COPD, if you need care try your doctor or social services who can often offer support short term. I'm quiet happy to talk in a private message on site if it would help. Every best wish with improving contact to help your lonliness. xx

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